新手第一次写ISSUE，求拍，求指点。

amourfou

第一次写ISSUE，感觉已经写完整了，要想说的都说了，但只有350字。这样的文章能得4分吗？求大神们指点。

ISSUE 50. Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.


A question, whether government officials should rely on their own judgment or unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve, has just been laid in front of us. The speaker claims that they ought to make decisions by themselves. I concede that government officials should rely on their own judgment, which is significant indeed. Nevertheless, they should not ignore the will of the public, which is important as well.

Admittedly, a government official is a person who has great abilities and is wiser than common people. Moreover, he/she always has acute judgment and long view. Therefore, government officials can always make a right decision. For example, F.D.Roosevelt implemented the New Deal, leading America to recover from the Depression and World War II.

Nonetheless, a leader, as long as who wants to make a difference, has to first gain the opportunity for effective public leadership. Besides, in order to ensure that the nation runs with harmony and develops in a favorable direction, which is the goal for the politics of a nation, government needs to meet the needs of the public. Thus government officials should never ignore the will of the people they serve and should take it into account as an important part, when they are making a decision.

At the same time, however, government officials should not unquestioningly carry out the will of the public, because it is not right sometimes, even badly wrong. For example, when President Lincoln was taking efforts to abolish serfdom, he had to confront the farmers’ opposition, even persecution. However, he didn’t submit to them, insisting upon his judgment and ideal that “all men are created equal”. Ultimately, Lincoln, the freedom fighter, had been engraved on the history of mankind.

To sum up, in my opinion, government officials should rely on their own judgment and take the will of the public into account as well, when they are making a decision. They should neither ignore the people they serve nor unquestioningly carry out what they want.

amourfou

谢谢斑竹的建议，很有用，我确实举了例子就戛然而止了，进一步总结一下应该上400字没问题~~~

竹林中人

想说的是说到了，但说的不够深入不够透，分析的时候尽量细致些，举例子也最好能带入分析，然后有点小的总结。比如第二段那个例子，你写出来了，但你想要说明什么，是怎么说明的，都没写，都留给读者去理解了，这在argument中是不好的，argument中就是要把越明显越觉得显然的道理方式方法过程等等说清楚，不要让读者帮你再去分析