argument 24（salicylates可以被用来治头痛） PIAPIA我吧。。。

yzy0704

In the passage, the writer holds a point that salicylates, a kind of compound similar to aspirin, could be used to treat headaches. And from the survey lasting about 20 years, he concludes that the compound has been successfully used to treat headaches. What’s more, some health experts think that to add this chemical compound to the foods will help to decrease headaches in the further.

The argument seems logical at the first glance. However, when observed in detail, the argument issued by the writer has some flaws. Firstly, the writer believes that salicylates are of the same chemical family as aspirin, then this kind of compound will surly have the same effects as aspirin. This may not happen. Despite of the similar structure, these two compounds may have big differences. For example, carbon has a similar structure like graphite, but they are different element in nature, and they have different functions. So the compound salicylates may not able to treat headaches.

What’s more, despite that salicylates have some uses to treat headaches, it may be bad to humans when people take too much salicylates. Since many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, food-processing companies must add salicylates to foods as preservatives. Taking too much salicylates may do harm to humans’ bodies. So what the companies do may have some side effects.

Furthermore, the writer argue that people who participate in the study are reported to have less chances to grow headaches, then the writer believe it must be salicylates that help to treat headaches. This may not be logical. Although these people shows healthy, it may be not due to the effects of salicylates, but the development of the whole environment of this area. Since the living condition is improved, there may be less illness. What’s more, the research does not include those who have not take the study. If those who don’t take the examine are also very healthy, or even more healthier, we may conclude that this compound does have no effects, or even side effects, to treat headaches. Lastly, if the study only include young men who are less possible to get into headaches, this study may also be less persuasive.

Lastly, because of the effects of salicylates shown in the study, many company are willing to make profits by producing more foods containing salicylates, thinking that residents of this area will suffer fewer headaches in the further. This may be dangerous. If people who always take salicylates will grow some other illness, what the companies do may do harm to the health of residents here. So before adding compounds into foods, companies must do much more researches on the compounds.

Then from all the reasons issued above, I conclude that the compound salicylates may have no use, or even bad effects, to treat humans’ headaches. So if the writer would like to demonstrate the effects of salicylates persuasively, he must make some illustrations more logically and detailedly.

yzy0704

我继续努力！！！

竹林中人

第二段的第一句话应该放到第一段结尾的吧
第五段感觉跟第三段有点重复的，都提到过量食用。
如果你的第二三段能像第四段更具体或者充实点论证的内容会更好
anyway，有很大进步