求作文修改。。。

li41982913

RT，第一次写，AA的第一篇，就那个奥运食品加工公司的。。。憋了半天才够400字。。。

In this argument, the author concludes that the long-time processing experience in frozen food industry will enable the Olympic Foods minimize the cost and in turn maximize the profit. And to support the argument, the author provides several reasons. First of all, the author uses the film processing as an example to illustrate the point that processing costs generally go down as companies learn more and become more efficient. Additionally, the author also says that since the Olympic Foods has been operating for almost 25 year, the company's long time experience will help them to be more efficient and thus reduce the cost and increase the profit. At first glance, the author's conclusion seems to be quite convincing, but further analysis shows that several illogical deductions lie the argument.

First of all, the author uses the example of film processing industry to refer to the frozen food processing industry. However, the differences in these two industries obviously outweigh the commons they share, therefore making the analogy less sound. Just take a look at the frozen food industry, for example, the purchase, transportation and preservation of the food and all count great importance in the food quality, and thus influence the cost of food processing, but these factors does not really exist in the film processing industry. Consequently, the author cannot conclude that the Olympic Foods will enjoy the same improved efficiency and increase the profit.

In addition, the author argues that due to the Olympic Foods' 25-year operating experience in the frozen food industry, the company will automatically get the cost reduced based on the previous experience. The previous experience may be helpful to some extend, however, the previous experience is not guaranteed to be absolutely right, and it may mislead the company if not correctly referred. For example, the company may has been using the old or unreasonable ways to manage the company or even process food, and just never realize; examples such as unreasonable management may intensify company's cost and hurt the company's profit.

In summary, the author's conclusion is not as convincing as it tries to be. The company's proof lacks some necessary examples from the similar industries, an example of the film processing industry is both invalid and ridiculous, only by providing examples of similar industry can company persuade its shareholders. Beside this, the company also need to to show its shareholder how the company may benefit from its 25-year operating experience, or in other word, how could the company use its experience to reduce its cost and become more efficient.