Vanessa923的作文贴！6月4日起全力以赴写作！

vanessa923

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should encourage their children to do their schoolwork independently rather than help children to do their schoolwork.
Nowadays,parents play a increasingly crutial role in children's education and well-being.Some argue parents should encourage their children to deal with  homework independently in wish for children's  independent thinking ability rather than  work with the children with the schoolwork.I disagree with this claim .
First and foremost,both parents and children can cooperate and communicate in the learning process,thus in turn  promote their communication and improve their understanding and relationship.When I was in  primary school,every night my parents would spend 1 hour assisting  me in my study.After analyzing my problems  and give me some hints,I would always feel out of puzzle.Besides,there always came a happy discussion about my school life,like how was my friend Kate who always cried out in  fear of math calss and whether my English teacher married who always emphasize being single.These funny stories always make us giggle and trully reinforce the  parent-and-children relationship.
In addition,by helping children with their schoolwork,parents can check the children's study plan and make some reasonable ajustments.For instance,if the child is apt at math while poor at English,concious of this imbalance,the parents can make a plan for the child.They can arouse the child's interest of English  by taking the child to Enlish corner or watching English movies with the child.All these ajustments can nurture the child's interest in Enlish.Consequently,child can really benefit from the kind of flavor by adding english into the child's life.
Though some claim  that let the child finish his/her homework independently can develop their independent thinking ability,but the parents can also achieve this goal by giving a hand.Here is a good suggestion,parents can set a time for child'sindependently handling schoolwork.In this way,the chances of children seeking for answers instantly  without thinking can be avoided.Then after the  time,parents can check the schoolwork and help finding the blind spots. Moreover,the parents can even help children conquer the dilemma of the neck-of-bottle  when  this problem was overlooked.
In a nutshell,with the guidence and scrutinize of parents,the children can not  only have a better understand of their  study,but their own  being-their own advantages and disadvantages,their gifts and shortcomings.
算了一下，才343个字。。不知道会不会有点少啊。。

AnthonySummer

TPO18综合

The reading passage advocates three ways to address the decline of Torreya and the lecture deals with the same topic. However, the professor thinks the three ways mentioned in the reading migh (might) be unsuccessful in preventing the extinction of Torreya.



In the first place, the reading suggest a (an) option of reestablishing Torreya in the same location in Northern Florida with the favorable microclimate. However, the professor refutes (refues) this option by suggesting that the microclimate in Northern Florida is drier and no longer fit (fits) for the growth of Torreya as a result of global warming and wetlands. So the first option is not desirable.(感觉可以多用些复杂句为自己加分)





Secondly, according to the reading, it might be a good option to move Toreya to a different location via the process of assisted migration. The lecturer opposes this option by introducing the example of the migration of Blacklocust. The migration of Blacklocust causes the death of other endangered trees and the professor concludes that the same practice of migrating Torreya might incur unpredicted outcomes.



Last but not least, instead of suggesting that to preserve Torreya in research centers, (妹子你这个举的例子有些简单)the professor points out that the research certers (centers) might not hold the diverse population of Torreya in case of potential diseases.（希望多提些听力中的内容，毕竟你的总体字数太少了）



In conclusion, the professor uses vivid examples and convincing points to disprove the feasibility of three options discussed in the reading passage.



再接再厉吧！

Yeeisstrong

8独立

Have you ever seen young people waiting in long queue to seek for a job interview? Nowadays, a growing numbers of people choose to move into big cities in seek of fortune and chance. Some people claim that people who move out of their native village are more successful and happier than those who do not.（But） I partly disagree with this topic.(开头的问句和后面逻辑不紧密，不如再加两个类似的问句，是逻辑关系层层加深.Have you ever seen people who have a sick must go to hospital alone? Have you ever seen people cannot together with their family in big festival? )

At first, I concede that big cities tend to provide us with more job oppotunites(opportunities), resources and challenges. Thus more and more people are likely to leave native towns and flock to big cities to find jobs and establish their own business. With a wider platform to polish their abilities and seek companions, the chance of being successful also increased. Take my uncle as an example. He was just 17 when he left the town and determined to seek his fortune in Beijing. That young adults enjoying healthy and easy lifestyle inspire him to open a gym. Now he is quite successful at running this gym and plans to open subsidiary gyms at different districts.(这段是把我的逻辑搞混了，到底是说native好呢，还是离开好呢？和你的观点背道而驰吧？)
Regarded as successful businessman, however, my uncle does not label him as a happy businessman. In fact, in the face of heavy loads of affairs to deal with, he hardly spare time to get together with his family members. Beside, the pressure from the high-paced life in Beijing city always suffocate(s) him. “Compared with my peers living in the small town, I might be rich in material. But in fact how I envy their easy lifestyle."(However, in fact, I envy their lifestyles very much.)My uncle once told me.
Yes, behind the superficial mask of rich, we can not ignore the inside of poor, which results from a sense of lost and anxiety. Maybe we can get large amount of fortune in the big cities, but only ourselves can know the bitter inside.

（这篇文章比较奇特，建议LZ多看看范文，比如老美185，看看论点论据是如何合理化的，像这种既有支持又有反对的还是少些微妙吧。lz用词也很新颖，我也只能改到这种程度了，自己也是个菜鸟!）

vanessa923

Have you ever seen young people waiting  in long queue to seek for a job interview? Nowadays, a growing numbers of people choose to move into big cities in seek of fortune and chance. Some people claim that people who move out of their native village are more successful and happier than those who do not. I  partly disagree with this topic.

At first, I concede that big cities tend to provide us with more job oppotunilies ,resources and challenges. Thus more and more people are likely to leave native towns and  flock to big cities to find jobs and establish their own business. With a wider platform  to polish their abilities and seek companions, the chance of being successful also increased. Take my uncle as an example. He was just 17 when he left the town and determined to seek his fortune in Beijing. That young adults enjoying healthy and easy lifestyle inspire him to open a  gym. Now he is quite successful at running this gym and plans to open subsidiary gyms at different districts.
Regarded as successful businessman, however, my uncle doesnot label him as a happy bussinessman. In fact, in the face of heavy loads of affairs to deal with, he hardly spare time to get together with his family menmbers. Beside, the pressure from the high-paced  life in Beijing city always suffocate him. “Compared with my peers living in the small town, I might be rich in material. But in fact how I envy them for their easy lifestyle." My uncle once told me.
Yes, behind the superficial mask of rich,  we  can not ignore the inside of poor ,which results from a sense of lost and anxiety. Maybe we can get large amount of fortune in the big cities ,but only we ourselves can konw the bitter inside.

vanessa923

The reading passage advocates three ways to address the decline of Torreya and the lecture deals with the same topic. However, the professor thinks the three ways mentioned in the reading migh be unsuccessful in preventing the extinction of Torreya.

In the first place, the reading suggest a option of reestablishing  Torreya in the same location in Northern Florida with the favorable microclimate. However, the professor refutes this option by suggesting that the microclimate in Northern Florida is drier and  no longer fit for the growth of Torreya as a result of global warming and  wetlands. So the first option is not desirable.


Secondly, according to the reading, it might be a good option to move Toreya to a different location via the process of assisted migration. The lecturer opposes this option by introducing the example of the migration of Blacklocust. The migration of Blacklocust causes the death of other endangered trees and the professor concludes that the same parctice of migrating Torreya might incur unpredicted outcomes.

Last but not least, instead of suggesting that to preserve Torreya in research centers, the professor points out that the research certers might not hold the diverse population of Torreya in case of potential diseases.

In conclusion, the professor uses vivid examples and convincing points to disprove the feasibility of  three options discussed in the reading passage.

luhuaipei

改完了~~

vanessa923

Nowadays, scientific discoveries are essential in human development since it makes old imaginations and speculations possible and even  bring new possibilities to human life. When asked about whether government and corporation should share all their scientific discoveries with other countries in the world, I think the answer is no.



At first, I concede that there exist competition between governments and corporations. It is this sense of competition that push governments and corporations make great efforts to conduct scientific researches and try to make new and influential discoveries. And also for this reason we can say it is possible for these governments and corporations refuse to share those efforts-taking discoveries with others. For instance, can we expect the Apple company share its high-edged technologies with other potential competing companies in the world? Definitely not. Since these hi-tech is their source of  money and reputation.



However, when  things  are set under the global background, we need to admit that  it is significant for government and corporations share these discoveries. Since now we are living in a global village,  we need to join hands together in the face  of unprecedented diseases and natural disaster. Take the battle for cancer as an example. Cancer is a global puzzle which needs the efforts and hardworking of every nation. Imagine if a single country make a breakthrough in the study of cancer or a medical company develop a  potential  kind of pill , and they just refuse to publicise their achievements, can we boast we can find the key to unlock the mystery of cancer in the near future? Of course not. Only  by combining the endeavor of every nation can we find the ultimate solution of this disease as soon as possible.



In conclusion, since we do not live alone as a single individual and every country do not grow as a single nation, we need to cooperate with others to live  better lives. So I think we should make joint efforts to conquer the possible obstacles and stand against any challenge.

bonnenuit

Happiness arise from a variety of scenarios, raging from making great achievement in some fields you love to a bright smile of a passer-by when you feel gloomy. As for this topic, I do not  think my job have more effect on  my happiness than my social  life does.

First I  have to admit that my job indeed plays a pivotal role in my happiness in that it provides me with stable income and  reflects my ability and moreover, brings me overwhelmingly pride and satisfaction. No one can deny the importance of the a (怎么出现两个冠词）steady source of income with which you can maintain a healthy and comfortable lifestyle. More importantly, the sense of pride and commitment can make your life enriched, since you do not live for living, but for a more upgraded and complete life. With your job to show and prove your ability（这句有点不懂，如果是伴随状语的话，your jod 和provide 不平行，除非改providing） , you definitely would live a（生活不可数，去掉） busy but enriched life.

At the same time, my social life also exerts great influence on my happiness. Human beings are gregarious and no one can  live a(去掉） happy life while isolated from the group he belongs to. Along with the growth of man-kinds, social relationships can not only mold their(their指代有歧义是指人还是relationships) personalities but also accompany them through the hard and lonely times. Take myself as an example. When i was 12, my family moved to a new city and I had to adapt myself to the new and totally unfamiliar school life. I was so low since I felt being deserted by others. However, after understading(understood） my situation, my Chinese teacher encouraged me to take participate in all kinds of group activities such as camping and hiking. By talking and playing with other students, I gradually involved myself to the new environment and made a lot of friends. I no longer felt lonely with the accompany of new friends and trully（truly） found happiness.

To sum up, I think both  job and  social life greatly contribute to one's happiness. It is better for one to combine these two together to foster a happy life.

词汇基础不错，但有不少拼写错误要避免
语法还有很大的进步空间， 句式多变换一下会更好
再接再厉

vanessa923

不好意思，改晚了~

-- by 会员 luhuaipei (2012/10/7 19:20:05)

木有事，谢谢啦呵呵。

luhuaipei

不好意思，改晚了~