【写作小分队】tyyhappy 欢迎狂批^_^

tyyhappy

4月22日 独立写作
110115 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The main role of the university professor is to educate students rather than to do research.


Professors nowadays are reported to have devote much more time to doing researches than educating students, for the simple reason that lots of researches are demanded when rated professor level. Such is society condition that professors who are both academy teachers and science researchers merely focus on specific studies linked to their own benefits, neglecting the duty of imparting fundamental knowledge to students and the advantages of more creative ideas that come up with lots of young adults. To my standpoint, professors should pay more attention to educate students.

First of all, it goes without saying that graduates play a significant role in the future.　An observation shows that each year almost 8000 million graduates flow to work in fields of construction medical treatment finance and so on. What if they are not taught completely and systematically at school? How would they compete with peers to get a job and how could they do well in their own domains. Take my older sister for example, who is majored in market but lacked with training of selling in schools. Unfortunately, not until a year later after graduation did she get a job as a result of short of abilities of market analysis and selling skills. Consequently, professors should firstly act a teacher rather than a research.

Also playing an important part is more ideas which come up with by young adults. It is undoubted that young adults receive new knowledge more quickly and then think out of more creative thoughts. For professors why not educate them with full energy and gather the new together to do experiments more effectively and efficiently. My classmate Victor speaks highly of his tutor, who teaches him how to read papers, make surveys and work with data, and now plays a crucial role in their research which is composed by 5 graduates. Professors who are only focused to researches are unable to understand the feelings of dedication and receive honor from students. So I believe that teaching should be professors’ main work.

Admittedly, researches are essential to promote the development of technology and professors are obliged to make studies. Just as coins have two sides, provided too much attention is paid to experiments, students are ignored and to avoid the negative impact professors should balance the role between a teacher and a researcher.

As far as I am concerned, professors are regarded as teachers firstly by the public when we take the view to scan the whole picture. Despite the merits of performing researches, educating students takes advantages of more ideas when doing experiments and instructing superior students.

Crystaljoy

7-8独立
Could I provide him with professional and wonderful suggestions of（to） his schoolwork? Could I make proper plans and schedules for him according to his task and goad（goal？）? Such are questions that I think over and answers are no(总觉得一句话中,主语换来换去不好,容易使读的人感到累。就像我们自己读英文句子，不管再长，先提取的是一套主谓宾，然后才接收其他用修饰语串联起来的次要信息。这点你再体会体会。我的修改：My answer, after deep analysis, goes to no.). In my point of view, he had better turn to the professor or a professional tutor for help in order to accomplish his work effectively and efficiently.


First of all, it goes without saying that a professional master would come up with qualified recommendations by making use of（有点别扭，benefited from后置修饰吧） his knowledge and experience. Take myself for example, I have ever done utmost to write a personal statement for a university when I required to submit for some reason.（下划线的地方感觉不合适。once I was required to submit a personal statement）Hardly could any friends of mine produce（感觉你找写手一样） such an essay at high school as we had never done it before, of course including me. However, my Chinese teacher turned up in my mind as she was（a master） good at writingand I asked her advice（删去，这句跟后一句联系更大）. The decision （to ask her for advice）turned out to be a wise action (one), and she pointed out that I should compare myself to something to(把你比作什么。。？) make a difference from other students' (through novel metaphors ). It is the wonderful idea thatleaded （, which made 一个主要意思尽量一句串起来）my essay to an extraordinary one at that time. Therefore, I state that great tutors should be his first choice.


Also, an appropriate plan or schedule provided by the experienced tutor for him also plays a vital role in choosing assistant（这个论点有点诡异？）. Only experienced and professional tutors or masters could set proper plans for they have dealt with similar incidents or matters a lot before. For instance, once I was preparing for my music test, my music tutor made a schedule for me due to my appearance（performance？）and abilities. That is to say, I was trained under professional guidance and the schedule turned out to be (much more) effective. (I cannot imagine) What if I just reviewed by myself without a systematic plan raised (set up) by my master, I just can imagine. Consequently, we cannot emphasize the importance of masters(too) muchaccording to the evidence mentioned above.


Admittedly, sometimes we are more likely to express our ideas more greatly (honestly and directly) when chatting with our close friends. However, we can take measures to cultivate our communication patterns with tutors or professors more naturally. What I often be advised is to regard the tutor as your parent or brother, and(someone) you are familiar with them.


As far as I am concerned, he should turn to a professional tutor instead of me for all merits as(listed) above. If he (could) make good use of available resources and refer to diversity suggestions, his school work will probably be finished with high(higher) quality.



小哈。你的结构基本符合ETS的要求。但是表达要再注意一下，有时候表达影响了理解内容。

1.and 不要滥用了。一个句子一个主要意思，附属信息可以用which等连接词串起来。

2.长短句结合。即使是叙事体，也不能很多短句的写成流水账。可用上such, this,转折词等，显得环环相扣，有逻辑。

3.别太罗嗦。多写实词增强细节，少写可有可无的状语。

4.每段主题句一定要表述清楚，不能有歧义。让步段也得合情合理，不是勉强凑结构的，而是使得逻辑更完整。

5.写完多读几遍。

考前把你写过的读几遍，JJ题目观点准备好。考试时候好好检查，问题不大啦~ 加油！

tyyhappy

7-6 独立
Have you ever attended an online class of biology or economy? Have you ever listened to an open lecture given by universities? Such is common reality that nowadays open universities and convenient internet are likely to provide more opportunities to obtain knowledge than before. In my point of view, people nowadays are more easily available to knowledge than people in the past days.



First of all, it goes without saying that modern people can take advantage of rapidly developed computers and widely used internet to get educated. Online classes, various of (various 是形容词建议去掉of)books and videos of lectures are offered to housewives workers and all kinds of people who lack massive time or great opportunities to study in universities. Take my best friend Victor for example, he learns French all and merely on the internet. The books downloaded from the internet and websites about how to learn French turns out to play an important role for him in the process of self-learning. Hardly can anyone in the past believe that we learn a language without a teacher talking with us face by face. Also, it is the website called Ted that shows plenty lectures in diversity areas and these lectures improve my ability of listening to English a lot. Therefore, I state that we have more chances to learn contrast to the past days.



Also, open lectures and various programs given by universities play a vital role in promoting educations. Diversity programs are provided to students who merely have time at night or weekend but are in deep eager to study in universities. For instance, my university is filled with bank workers and company managers on weekends for they are taking further study in business or finance. As far as I am concerned, account finance engineering and math which largely improves skills at work is taught as fundamental subjects in these programs. In addition, open lectures are increasing. Last week, there was an open lecture about Black-Shores equation given by Shores who are given the Nobel Prize Award in my university. That is to say, scholars, students and anyone else have the access to attend the lecture. How surprising and exciting is the new.（这个语气用这不错啊，更生动啦.但是我觉得应该这样 How surprising and exciting the new is!）Consequently, we cannot emphasize more about the fact that people get more opportunities to get knowledge.

Admittedly, nowadays more lures emerge and they may probably take up time or energy from people. However, if we take control of time and balance the schedule, we will probably come over these negative impacts.（这段再有个例子就好啦，虽然字数已经很多）

As far as I am concerned, the more developed our society is as today, the more easily for people to get educated. For one thing, we benefit from the massive knowledge on the internet. Moreover, more lectures and classes are reachable in universities.

Happy的写作水平比我强多啦，我觉得总体写得不错啦，我也从文章中学到了很多，有什么迅速提高作文水平的方法求赐教啊~

PS：好不容易才找到happy的作业地址啊

-- by 会员 丰碑无语Yee (2012/7/8 9:50:15)

to 丰碑
不好意思，总是忘了粘链接···
不敢当赐教，给你我练习的方法丰碑参考下^_^
《十天提高托福作文》看看，再读下185篇，再搭电梯看看鸟儿的作文，再背一些好的句子肯定棒棒哪^_^。（我是这么练的，觉得还挺有效果滴~~）
加油↖(^ω^)↗

tyyhappy

7-6
综合
The reading passage raises the issue that the society benefits a lot from genetic modification. However, this statement is strongly questioned in the lecture which provides with drastically different evidences and argues that it has seriously negative impacts.

The professor begins pointing out that tress may not survive when pests or others changes in climates occurred. Because there are plenty of wild trees varying in genes, part of they them are doomed to get through these damages and pick up by nature however some died. But the genetically modified trees are uniform and they will soon die out when deadly factors appear. This view disagrees with the standpoint that genetically modified trees are made to resist dangers as demonstrated in the reading passage.

The professor goes on to mention that farmers spend more on genetically modified tress. It goes without saying that companies will charge more for the special seeds. According to the reading passage, farmers make extra profits as these trees grow faster than normal ones. Therefore, the lecture goes against with what is represented in the reading passage.少了一小点信息by law...

Finally, the professor states that these trees pose a threat on other trees. Genetically modified trees grow faster and better so that they spread and take up more space 可以用aggressive  in forests. As a consequence, normal trees have to compete with them for water or nutrients. This view casts doubt on the contents of the reading passage which considers that special tress will protect other trees from cutting down for their accumulations meet the need of wood.

只有些小错误 其他都蛮好
但是包子不大清楚 是不是要完全遵照听力原文的表述嘞 看到HAPPY用了很多自己的表达 在有听力原文的情况下 嘿嘿

-- by 会员 包子不包子 (2012/7/8 6:38:50)

to 包子
恩恩，实在是记了就听不全，听全了就只能自己随便记两笔，回头再自己组织··哎，苦逼听力···要是能用原文多好啊^_^

kchszy061ban

Could I provide him（这个有性别歧视在里面的额） with professional and wonderful suggestions of his schoolwork? Could I make proper plans and schedules for him according to his task and goad? Such are questions that I think over and answers are no. In my point of view, he had better turn to the professor or a professional tutor for help in order to accomplish his work effectively and efficiently.

First of all, it goes without saying that a professional master would come up with qualified recommendations by making use of his knowledge and experience. Take myself for example, I have ever done utmost to write a personal statement for a university when I required to submit for some reasons. Hardly could any friends of mine produce such an essay at high school as we had never done it before, of course including me. However, my Chinese teacher turned up in my mind as she was good at writing and I asked her advice. The decision turned out to be a wise action, and she pointed out that I should compare myself to something to make a difference from other students'. It is the wonderful idea that leaded my essay to an extraordinary one at that time. （这个转折的有一点突兀）Therefore, I state that great tutors should be his first choice.

Also, an appropriate plan or schedule provided by the experienced tutor for him also plays a vital role in choosing assistant. Only experienced and professional tutors or masters could set proper plans for they have dealt with similar incidents or matters a lot before. For instance, once I was preparing for my music test, my music tutor made a schedule for me due（according） to my appearance and abilities. That is to say, I was trained under professional guidance and the schedule turned out to be effective. What if I just reviewed by myself without a systematic plan raised by my master, I just can imagine. Consequently, we cannot emphasize the importance of masters much according to the evidence mentioned above.

Admittedly, sometimes we are more likely to express our ideas more greatly when chatting with our close friends. However, we can take measures to cultivate our communication patterns with tutors or professors more naturally. What I often be advised is to regard the tutor as your parent or brother, and you are familiar with them.

As far as I am concerned, he should turn to a professional tutor instead of me for all merits as above. If he make good use of available resources and refer to diversity suggestions, his school work will probably be finished with high quality.
队长的作文句式多样，表达清楚，真应该多看下。

tyyhappy

Have you everspent few hours on a seemingly difficult math problem？However, your friend help you work it outdirectly in few minutes. Have you ever been assigned a task which needs to beaccomplished soon when you travelled outside? Who would you ask for assistance?I guess the answer would be your friend(我觉得加上以后会感觉稍微清楚一点呢). Such is common reality that wewould like to make friends with those who would give us a hand whenever. In mypoint of view it makes sense to choose useful and helpful friends other thanfriends who have lots of fun with you.

First of all, it goes without saying that friends'help may lead to more efficient study. Sometimes a piece of recommendation orguidance from friends may enlighten us suddenly. Take myself for example, onceI was working on company's financial sheets to calculate some importantfigures. It is my friend that pointed outfiguring out such things by excel costs plenty timeand she suggested to search a website called Wind for these figures. How lucky!The website has provided all what I wanted and needed to work out already and it saved muchtime for me. What if my friend had not told me about the wonderful website, themassive work must have(时态，had) driven me crazy. Therefore, I state that weshould we should make friends who are ready to do you a favor.

Also, friend's help in daily life plays a vitalrole when considering choosing friends. There are emergencies that we could notdeal with merely by ourselves. For instance, once I failed to catch the trainon which my friend took my bags and computers. It turns out to be a tragicbecause my friend has to take these bags to her hometown however far from mine.With worry, ideas came to my mind that I could ask another friend to bring itback home, who just studied (happenedto study我才happy应该想表达的是正好的意思吧，所以我觉得happen to do 比just要准确捏~) in that city and were going back to home. Andthings went on well at last with my bags back few days later. That's why Iemphasize friends who would solve your problems are undoubtedly important.

Admittedly, staying and playing with friends whoalways crack jokes add up happiness. However, why not we ourselves play therole in such relationship or just choose friends who possess both qualities? Mybest friend Victor is a perfect paragon. He is highly spoken of for hiskindness and helpful actions, in addition he appears humors.

As far as I am concerned, being ready to help uscomes first when it comes to choose friends for reasons mentioned above.(原因再简单总结一下我觉得会更好一些。)


其实这篇文章，我写的非常痛苦。改了happy这篇文章后，我感觉又多了一些思路。
总体文章写的木有大问题，理由用的也不错。加油啊！

-- by 会员 DanielleZ (2012/7/9 0:16:11)

谢谢dan，辛苦啦^_^

tyyhappy

7-8独立
Could I provide him with professional and wonderful suggestions of his schoolwork? Could I make proper plans and schedules for him according to his task and goad? Such are questions that I think over and answers are no. In my point of view, he had better turn to the professor or a professional tutor for help in order to accomplish his work effectively and efficiently.
First of all, it goes without saying that a professional master would come up with qualified recommendations by making use of his knowledge and experience. Take myself for example, I have ever done utmost to write a personal statement for a university when I required to submit for some reason. Hardly could any friends of mine produce such an essay at high school as we had never done it before, of course including me. However, my Chinese teacher turned up in my mind as she was good at writing and I asked her advice. The decision turned out to be a wise action, and she pointed out that I should compare myself to something to make a difference from other students'. It is the wonderful idea that leaded my essay to an extraordinary one at that time. Therefore, I state that great tutors should be his first choice.
Also, an appropriate plan or schedule provided by the experienced tutor for him also plays a vital role in choosing assistant. Only experienced and professional tutors or masters could set proper plans for they have dealt with similar incidents or matters a lot before. For instance, once I was preparing for my music test, my music tutor made a schedule for me due to my appearance and abilities. That is to say, I was trained under professional guidance and the schedule turned out to be effective. What if I just reviewed by myself without a systematic plan raised by my master, I just can imagine. Consequently, we cannot emphasize the importance of masters much according to the evidence mentioned above.
Admittedly, sometimes we are more likely to express our ideas more greatly when chatting with our close friends. However, we can take measures to cultivate our communication patterns with tutors or professors more naturally. What I often be advised is to regard the tutor as your parent or brother, and you are familiar with them.
As far as I am concerned, he should turn to a professional tutor instead of me for all merits as above. If he make good use of available resources and refer to diversity suggestions, his school work will probably be finished with high quality.

DanielleZ

Have you everspent few hours on a seemingly difficult math problem？ However, your friend help you work it outdirectly in few minutes. Have you ever been assigned a task which needs to beaccomplished soon when you travelled outside? Who would you ask for assistance? I guess the answer would be your friend(我觉得加上以后会感觉稍微清楚一点呢). Such is common reality that wewould like to make friends with those who would give us a hand whenever. In mypoint of view it makes sense to choose useful and helpful friends other thanfriends who have lots of fun with you.

First of all, it goes without saying that friends'help may lead to more efficient study. Sometimes a piece of recommendation orguidance from friends may enlighten us suddenly. Take myself for example, onceI was working on company's financial sheets to calculate some importantfigures. It is my friend that pointed outfiguring out such things by excel costs plenty timeand she suggested to search a website called Wind for these figures. How lucky!The website has provided all what I wanted and needed to work out already and it saved muchtime for me. What if my friend had not told me about the wonderful website, themassive work must have(时态，had) driven me crazy. Therefore, I state that weshould we should make friends who are ready to do you a favor.

Also, friend's help in daily life plays a vitalrole when considering choosing friends. There are emergencies that we could notdeal with merely by ourselves. For instance, once I failed to catch the trainon which my friend took my bags and computers. It turns out to be a tragicbecause my friend has to take these bags to her hometown however far from mine.With worry, ideas came to my mind that I could ask another friend to bring itback home, who just studied (happenedto study我才happy应该想表达的是正好的意思吧，所以我觉得happen to do 比just要准确捏~) in that city and were going back to home. Andthings went on well at last with my bags back few days later. That's why Iemphasize friends who would solve your problems are undoubtedly important.

Admittedly, staying and playing with friends whoalways crack jokes add up happiness. However, why not we ourselves play therole in such relationship or just choose friends who possess both qualities? Mybest friend Victor is a perfect paragon. He is highly spoken of for hiskindness and helpful actions, in addition he appears humors.

As far as I am concerned, being ready to help uscomes first when it comes to choose friends for reasons mentioned above.(原因再简单总结一下我觉得会更好一些。)


其实这篇文章，我写的非常痛苦。改了happy这篇文章后，我感觉又多了一些思路。
总体文章写的木有大问题，理由用的也不错。加油啊！

DanielleZ

The reading passage raisesthe issue that if the park let the big fire go, then the policy has manynegative effects(我感觉这两句话可以成一句). This standpoint is strongly questioned inthe lecture which provides with drastically different evidences and argues thatbig fires are part of ecologic and have positive effects on many parts.

The professor begins pointing out that the big firesprovide new environments to new plants. As in the past environment, there isless open area for little plants to grow, however after the big fire the openplaces are just suitable for them to plant. However, the statement disagreeswith the standpoint that big fire has brought great damage to the park's treesand vegetation.


The professor goes on to mention that the newplants which comes out after the new environment provides opportunities forother new animals to live here, such as small rabbits and so on. However,according to the reading passage, the park's wildlife was deeply endangered bythe fire for many species cannot escape. Therefore, the lecture goes againstwith what is presented in the reading passage.


Finally, the professor states that the bigfire in fact bring benefits to the local economy. Fortourists would like to see The Yellow Park after a rare big fire,the next year floods of people visited the park and it turns out toboost the economy(这个理由没有听全哦，我找不到原文，只能自己听写了一下,做个参考吧~)Theview casts doubt with the contents of the reading passage, which considers thatbig fires decrease the local economy as a result of fewer tourists in that year.

第三个理由原文：
And the last, Fires, like 1988 Yellowstone’s fire, would be a problem to the tourism ifthey happen ever year, but they don’t. It was fair unusual the combination factorsthat year, low rain fall, unusual the strong winds, accumulation of dry undergrowth.The cause of the fire to be massive, this combination has not occur since, And Yellowstonehas not seen that fire since 1988, visitors came back the park the next year,and each year after that
Happy，这篇写的语法没有什么问题，但是第三个理由没有听对，你自己的修改的时候也发现这个问题了。嘿嘿~加油！

-- by 会员 DanielleZ (2012/7/7 19:36:30)

谢谢daniellez,有点小苦恼呢，关于综合，如果记了就容易漏点，不记回头又想不起来了····哎····苦逼听力。

-- by 会员 tyyhappy (2012/7/7 20:45:24)

我基本上记得时候也是记得多了来不及听，所以我尝试就记个论点的记个词，例子的记个词。然后就可以自己发挥一下，把听力额内容串起来了。
我觉得还比较有帮助的~你可以试试啊~

tyyhappy

7-7独立
Have you ever spent few hours on a seemingly difficult math problem？ However, your friend help you work it out directly in few minutes. Have you ever been assigned a task which needs to be accomplished soon when you travelled outside? Who would you ask for assistance? I guess your friend. Such is common reality that we would like to make friends with those who would give us a hand whenever. In my point of view it makes sense to choose useful and helpful friends other than friends who have lots of fun with you.

First of all, it goes without saying that friends' help may lead to more efficient study. Sometimes a piece of recommendation or guidance from friends may enlighten us suddenly. Take myself for example, once I was working on company's financial sheets to calculate some important figures. It is my friend that pointed out figuring out such things by excel costs plenty time and she suggested to search a website called Wind for these figures. How lucky! The website has provided all what I wanted and needed to work out already and it saved much time for me. What if my friend had not told me about the wonderful website, the massive work must have driven me crazy. Therefore, I state that we should we should make friends who are ready to do you a favor.

Also, friend's help in daily life plays a vital role when considering choosing friends. There are emergencies that we could not deal with merely by ourselves. For instance, once I failed to catch the train on which my friend took my bags and computers. It turns out to be a tragic because my friend has to take these bags to her hometown however far from mine. With worry, ideas came to my mind that I could ask another friend to bring it back home, who just studied in that city and were going back to home. And things went on well at last with my bags back few days later. That's why I emphasize friends who would solve your problems are undoubtedly important.

Admittedly, staying and playing with friends who always crack jokes add up happiness. However, why not we ourselves play the role in such relationship or just choose friends who possess both qualities? My best friend Victor is a perfect paragon. He is highly spoken of for his kindness and helpful actions, in addition he appears humors.

As far as I am concerned, being ready to help us comes first when it comes to choose friends for reasons mentioned above.