Kaplan GMAT AWA STYLE CHECKLIST // 发现好多模板都有里面说的问题

AloneWandering

在职复习一个月，前天一战只拿了600分，心情抑郁，而我的作文写的极烂，一想到某个不幸的阅卷老外即将不得不面对它的时候，我的心情就更加悲愤，感到很sorry。

一个月后二战。吸取一战的经验，我想重点攻克作文和语法，因为作文是唯一能马上应用在工作中的考项，要是作文能达到GMAC倡导的商业英语的要求，即Clear, Concise, and Analytically correct，应当也就能融会贯通语法，阅读和逻辑，毕竟是相通的。

然而实战中做到Kaplan的要求，就成了写北美范文了，即使总数300字左右，难度也不小啊，更别说一个月提高这么多了。我看那些动不动超500字以上的NN们，基本上不用模板不可能做到，而为凑字数，模板往往繁冗复杂，陈词滥调，按照Kaplan的checklist，估计能砍下至少三分之一。。。实战中，有没有能写出北美范文的NN呢？

纠结中，求指导。

GMAT AWA STYLE CHECKLIST

Cut the fat.

Cut out words, phrases, and sentences that don't add any information or serve a purpose.
Watch out for repetitive phrases such as "refer back" or "serious crisis."
Don't use conjunctions to join sentences that would be more effective as separate sentences.

Be forceful.

Avoid jargon and pompous language; it won't impress anybody. For example, "a waste of time and money" is better than "a pointless expenditure of temporal and financial resources."
Avoid cliches (陈词滥调) and overused terms or phrases (for example, "beyond the shadow of a doubt").
Don't be vague. Avoid generalizations and abstractions when more specific words would be clearer.
Don't use weak sentence openings. Be wary of sentances that begin with "there is" or "there are." For example, "there are likely to be ways to improve those sentences," is much weaker than "You can probably improve the sentences."
Don't refer to yourself needlessly. Avoid pointless phrases like "in my personal opinion."
Don't be monotonous: Vary sentence length and style.
Use transitions to connect sentences and make your essay easy to follow.

Be correct.

Stick to the rules of standard written English.

AloneWandering

个人认为作文还是看逻辑分析能力的，语言毕竟只是壳
lz加油！

-- by 会员 Angela_Lin (2010/10/5 17:20:40)

谢谢Angela鼓励，我准备就按照范文的写法来做，字数不需要很多，300-350就应该足够清晰表达了。

AloneWandering

更新，5天后就收到作文成绩了，很出乎我预料，居然有4.5。我的AA基本上照自己改的模板来写的，开头结尾中间两段，也只有大约300字，而AI完全是随意写的，硬凑出来的开头结尾和中间两段，基本没举什么例子，估计一共也才250字左右。看来以后提升空间很大。

Angela_Lin

个人认为作文还是看逻辑分析能力的，语言毕竟只是壳
lz加油！