请美国人做essay修改，adcom会怎么看？

茹公子

请问，让美国人认真给修改一下，或者花钱请essay服务，会不会让商学院怀疑essay的真实性？
因为美国人应该知道中国人真实的英语水平，词不达意，用句古怪在他们看来是理所当然的。经过美国人之手后，essay看起来那么流畅，会不会让他们有其他看法？
请过来人谈谈看法，谢谢！

wuyw2010

说的太好了，如果靠editor帮忙进top10，自己以后就没法自信了，essay不是作文大赛，重要的是能把真实的自己表达出来

找editor，甚至中介，不是今天才有的。adcom的工作就是看file，别低估他们的英语能力，作为native，他们是很容易看出我们中国申请人的文章是不是自己写，或者edit过，甚至完全让native代笔的。大部分中国申请人，无论你TOEFL和GMAT考的有多高，只要你limited overseas experience，你的英语也就是美国高中毕业生的水平，好点的最多是贵族学校高中生的水平。但adcom不会拿中国学生和美国学生直接比，也不会仅仅因为essay的遣词造句优劣评判一个学生，他们更看中的是申请人的Profile。

如果明白adcom looking for的，我们就不用太担心自己的essay是不是够华丽，我们所要做的，就是把一个真实的自己展现在别人面前，告诉adcom，自己是适合他们的program的。在下愚钝，实在想不明白那些找人代笔的人的思维逻辑－认为自己的申请材料应该是完美的？没有人是完美的。退一步讲，毕业以后找工作写简历，interview是不是也应该请人代劳呢？从另一个角度说，多大的头戴多大的帽子，你如果就是30－40名的水平，别想着方法进Top 10，以后读书累不说，今后工作上也未必有优势。

MBA学习本身就是重新认识自我，发现自己的不足，fill in the gap的过程。既然已经走到申请这步，为啥要犹豫自己的能力呢？应该有自信地一步步走下去。

-- by 会员 jenery (2009/12/29 23:12:01)

wangyaoo

同意楼上的，有的人的essay让人看了根本就不知道在说啥，云里雾里的，那个从句乱用到让你看了想骂人的程度。这样的水平还是要找一下editor, 至少让人家帮你改一下语法错误。
不过如果学校严格要求不能找人改，那你就自己写吧。
请别人代笔这种事情是绝对不能做的，美国人对于ethics看得很重。另外工作经验不能有假。这是基本的常识。

katsuna

我觉得看个人的英语水平。



因为如果你会用这个动词，但是就是用的不是很恰当，这样是没问题的；但是可以用一个词写清楚的，你写了一个从句，写完以后ad com还不知道你在说什么，那就一定要找人帮你看看，不一定要找中介或者editor但是找个英语比较好的帮你润色一下是有必要的。

jenery

找editor，甚至中介，不是今天才有的。adcom的工作就是看file，别低估他们的英语能力，作为native，他们是很容易看出我们中国申请人的文章是不是自己写，或者edit过，甚至完全让native代笔的。大部分中国申请人，无论你TOEFL和GMAT考的有多高，只要你limited overseas experience，你的英语也就是美国高中毕业生的水平，好点的最多是贵族学校高中生的水平。但adcom不会拿中国学生和美国学生直接比，也不会仅仅因为essay的遣词造句优劣评判一个学生，他们更看中的是申请人的Profile。

如果明白adcom looking for的，我们就不用太担心自己的essay是不是够华丽，我们所要做的，就是把一个真实的自己展现在别人面前，告诉adcom，自己是适合他们的program的。在下愚钝，实在想不明白那些找人代笔的人的思维逻辑－认为自己的申请材料应该是完美的？没有人是完美的。退一步讲，毕业以后找工作写简历，interview是不是也应该请人代劳呢？从另一个角度说，多大的头戴多大的帽子，你如果就是30－40名的水平，别想着方法进Top 10，以后读书累不说，今后工作上也未必有优势。

MBA学习本身就是重新认识自我，发现自己的不足，fill in the gap的过程。既然已经走到申请这步，为啥要犹豫自己的能力呢？应该有自信地一步步走下去。

amanda_mu

总不能两个作文都是3.5分的标准，自己的学校essay又爆好吧。
锦上添花可以，但是如果是无中生有就不好了。

2008gmat770

It is ok to use editor service...

u are just 1 of the thousands applicants...

they won't even notice unless u have a really low AWA score.

aspirant2010

Anyway, 别太明显就好，更别以为学校会欣赏你这样做。尤其是Yale等几所已经明确声明“不能容忍使用editing service”，更是要小心

相信已经足够LZ作出判断

zhupp

jason, 谢谢你码这么多字！你比我们都看的深，很inspiring的意见！jenery and aspirant2010，我保留我的意见，be yourself 和deliver good essay，这中间的度需要每个人自己去把握。每个人还是需要按照自己的实际情况做出最让自己comfortable的决定。
hehe，希望lz能够figure out 你自己的plan！

cannedpineapple

On using essay editing services:

I've talked to the adcom of both Chicago Booth and Wharton, and they say the number 1 problem is that applicants like to use editing services, particularly those from overseas- and they can tell straight away. One issue is, it is often difficult to understand where the lines between 'grammar' and 'structure' and 'story' and 'motivation' are drawn- PARTICULARLY if you are not a native speaker. Using track changes is better, and then making your own decisions on what changes to keep is better- but even then, how will track changes help, if you don't know what changes to keep and what to throw out in the first place (which was why you needed help, no?).

Another variation of using editors is this: I've also seen a lot of people not use 'editors', but instead get alumni to help them edit the essays.. While these are not paid services, you end up with the same problem. Your voice gets lost, and a lot of these applicants end up with very poor results. They think that they've "利用现有的资源把眼前的事情做到最好", and are completely shocked when they don't even get an interview.

When you ask others to tell you about your own voice, it is best to get it from a 'friend or family member', because they know you best. But they too have their own voice, hence Yale asks you to not have them 'edit', but merely 'give advice'. Unfortunately instead of asking people who know them best, most applicants instead ask 'editors' or 'alumni' who don't really know them very well indeed. So if you ask, you should ask for 'advice', not 'editing'; and you should ask people who know you well, rather than worry about whether they know the school well. Most people do the complete opposite, on both counts. They ask for 'editing' rather than 'advice', and they ask it of people who don't know them well at all.

It is ALWAYS true that you should "利用现有的资源把眼前的事情做到最好". The problem is you need to understand what is a 资源, and what will hurt you. Most people don't realise that this is not like applying for a job, where you try and figure out what the company is looking for. In this case, it's the opposite- you need to figure out who you are, and THAT'S what schools are looking for. What is normally a “资源” (asking 'insiders'), has, in a business school application context, quite the opposite effect. By asking someone else, you are in effect saying 'I don't know you at all, and you don't know me, but please tell me what seems to matter most to me."

The result of this process? Not surprisingly, not so good. I've seen this over and over again with many otherwise very qualified applicants.

Just my 2 cents worth.