Mar 4 独立写作 修改:
It is the obligation that the government builds facilities to help citizens to live a better life.(有点突兀,可以以说It is the obligation….) Some people believe that it is more essential to build art museums and music performance because it is a spiritual enhancement. Other people disagree and they think building recreational facilities for people to exercise is more of importance. In fact, it is such a paradox that government should focus on mental relaxation or physical improvement and as far as I am concerned, recreational facilities are more significant to people's daily lives than art museums and music performance centers.
To begin with, more citizens go to do sports than citizens who appreciate art and they spend more time on the recreational facilities than museums. Government is an institution that serves the country and states. What government does should on behalf of majority's interest first. If there are two choices, health or art, the government definitely needs to improve people's health status because without health, we can do nothing, going to museums included(not to mention…..). After(only if) the basic need is met, the government can plan for the next step. By creating more recreational facilities, citizens will have places to swim, play football, keep fit and so on, which tremendously diversifies their lives.
Moreover, by building more recreational facilities, people can get rid of tedious work and study to relax and exercise. With the rapid pace of modern society, people are getting more and more unhealthy because of the heavy workload and increasing pressure. Greater percentage of women in 30s cannot get pregnant under stress in metropolitans. The age in which people have cancers is younger and in many cases, an growing number of people died of long time working and tiredness. As phenomenon shows, it is a serious problem that government ought to highly paying attention to. To better the situation, government should spend more money in building the recreational facilities to give people more chances and places to take exercises. As long as there are facilities to recreate, people tend to go out to breathe fresh air and invite friends to play together, which as the same time reinforce the friendship with others.(楼主很爱用and 连接,我觉得还是少用吧。)
Besides, government cannot only put all the effort on building playgrounds. To keep balance, government also need to put some funds into the art museums since there are still a part of people who are keen on art and they do not like sports. Government cannot force all of the people to do sports instead of seeing beautiful things. Boston, for instance, has numbers of museums as more than half of the people went to universities and colleges. Therefore, it depends on the different circumstances among cities if government intends to build art museums but again, the authorities still need to place considerate emphasis on the recreational facilities.(最后最好点下你的中心,让步,不要变成真的换方向)
In the conclusion, government should spend more money wisely on building more recreational facilities but the situation might be different in various cities so they may also pay some attention to the museums and cinemas. Only in this way can government keep its promise to the citizens to serve them a better and healthier lives.
有些地方的用语不是很地道,但是又不缺乏亮点。小错误需要注意。 |