改变 加油！！！ 作文贴

改变

大家好 本人是个新手 同时是时差党 要是要求没有做好 希望大家积极的指出啊。。。

其实很早就加入过写作小分队的群中了 但是一直没有下定决心去联系 但是现在我对自己拙略的英文水平确实是不忍心看了 希望大家能够帮助

首先觉得自己平时写的东西的量太少 另外感觉自己在这个方面没有找对方法  有时候甚至感觉不出来那种文章是好的。。。。（囧）

感觉自己不能再这样了。 今天开始一定要开始加油了 力争每天都写。

Ps 附上一句最近很火的话 “世上万事，不过是一懒二拖三不读书” 每次看感觉都很有感受

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要求贴上来
No.1 队员先在写作版开一个自己的作文贴，以后每次的作业和别人的修改回复都贴在上面。示例如图：

No.2 按队长布置的每日作业题目写作文，当日22:00前把自己纠错后的作文贴在作文贴中。


写作小分队运行规则:


在大本营（本帖）回帖交作业，内容是：
作业日期+作业类型（独立/综合/独立+综合）+作文链接
有能力交作业，但无法在22：00之前写完的亲(最迟于次日18点交哦，过期可是要上黑名单的呦~~注意啦)，需提前占座，享受和交作业者同等待遇。占座内容是：
作业日期+作业类型（独立/综合/独立+综合）+占座
完成自己的作业后，记得要编辑修改自己的占座贴，把占座改为作业地址，不必贴新帖。

No.3 队长22:30左右分组，分组信息在三楼。

No.4 队员次日21:30 前修改完同组队友的作业。
占座分组后无端不交作业的，不按时改队友作业的，将做暂停分组处理（如果因故无法及时修改的同学请务必提前与互改同学或者队长通过QQ或者站内短消息联系说明）；无故拖延2天以上者，一次警告，二次开除写作小分队。

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
作文的疑问：


想问一下大家 考试托福的时候写作文使用模板么？


还有就是平时练习的时候是否需要限定时间呢 今天这个写了45分钟了。。。。


是不是练习写作的过程中 也要背一些东西 什么好句呀 什么的  之前背了一些 可是总是用不上去。。。。

改变

24 February [Today]
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
It is not necessary for university students to attend classes as long as they can pass their examinations.



Nowadays, educational problem has been lifted into the focus of whole society. In order to increase the efficiency of student study, some people want to revise the regulation of school. Those people hold we should treat different students differently. For those who can pass the examinations, school should not require them to attend class. Because they already show their talents, this kind of change would endow the students more freedom to develop, which is better for the whole society. However, there are a lot of flaws in that argument. I will show the terrible outcome if the new policy was carried out.

First, a lot of university students would lose one kind of regulation if they do not have to attend classes. We assumed that those students would utilize the class time to study for themselves. However, it is always no true. They would like to use that time to play computer game, watch TV-series and drink in the bar. Since the university students are sort of immature, they lack of enough capacity to discern which is right and which is wrong. They are easily addicted to those activities if they have too much free time and no certain pressure on themselves. One of my friends is a typical example for that. Once a term, he was reward as honor students. Then the professors begin to lose attention on him and do not make the mandatory attendance on class. They thought he had good self-discipline ability. However, the result is totally wrong. Since he has a lot of time in that term, he often go to bar and was mislead by some other persons. He became addicted to alcohol already and could not pull himself back. Now he has totally fall behind all of his classmates.

Second, attending class will give you a lot of deep understanding of knowledge even though you have passed the examination. Class provides a space for student to discuss and for professor to teach. Sometimes you can pass the examination by reciting some key points before the examination day. However, you did not grasp that knowledge. If you can attend class, you will have more opportunity to learn from your professor and classmates. Sometime a piece of instruction from them will give you a clearer understanding of this point. Without this atmosphere, people often suck in some area because everyone has some sort of mind limits on some area.

However, it is not fair to only see the cons of that argument. Allowing talented students more free space indeed makes them to develop better. Of course, that is based on the assumption that they correctly use that time and don’t need any other’s instruction. Obviously, it is difficult to meet that requirement.

In a word, I think school should ask all of the students to attend class on-time, even though they can pass the examination.

改变

自己开一个楼总结 一下可能会遇到的问题 在作文中。。。

1. Every用法：


1. 表示“每(个)”，其后通常接单数可数名词。如：
I go there every day. 我每天去那儿。
I believe every work he says. 我相信他说的每一句话。
注意以下两种情况：
(1) every 通常不能用于复数名词前，但若复数名词前有基数词或few 的修饰，则也可用 every 修饰，表示“每(隔)……”。如：
We go there every three days. 我们每三天(每隔两天)去那儿一次。
(2) every 通常不能用于不可数名词前，但在少数情况下，它可用于抽象名词前，表示“所有可能的”“充分的”“完全的”等。如(from www.yywords.com)：
We have every reason to do so. 我们有充分的理由这样做。
I wish you both every happiness. 祝你们俩位幸福美满。

2. every 指的是三个或三个以上的“每个”，不能指两者中的每个。如：
路的两边都种有树。
误：There are trees on every side of the road.
正：There are trees on each side of the road.

3. 并列的“every＋名词”结构用作主语时，谓语要用单数。如：
Every boy and (every) girl has read the story. 每个男孩女孩都读过这个故事



2. Lack 用法：
（1）.lack 动词，意思是“缺乏；不足；没有”。作及物动词用。例如：
He lacks courage.他缺乏勇气。
She lacked the experience to get the job.她经验不足，无法获得这份工作。
(2)当它不及物的时候，即是lack for的用法的时候，常常用于否定句.所以这个句子中的for不能省略.
She does not lack for friends.
作不及物动词，意思是“还可作“缺乏，短少；不足；需要”，常用进行时，不及物。例如：
Something is lacking.缺少点什么东西。
Is she lacking in courage?她缺乏勇气吗?(wisdom,intelligence)
(3)名词
Lack+of＋名词： The plantsdied for lack of water.
The lack of rain aggravated the seriouslack of food.
"由于干旱少雨,缺粮问题更加严重。"
Owing to lack of time, we cannot do more than what we have done.
由于时间不够，我们只能做到这样。
Lack of funding is making our job moredifficult. 资金短缺使我们的工作更加困难。
Lack of heat made us cold.没有暖气使我们感到很冷。


3. More importantly, 不是moreimportant

Therefore, it is no doubt that students canacquire as much nutrient from the extracurricular activities as from the schooling.

As an old saying goes, all work, no play, makes Jack a dull boy.
Learning by rote（好词）is a terrible way for studies,



4. compare…with…表示“把……与……相比（同类相比）”，

compare…to…表示“把……比做……（异类相比，比喻）”。

在表示“把……与……相比”时，compare…with与compare…to…皆可用，尤其是用在过去分词作状语的句子中。

非谓语动词做状语时，用主动还是被动取决于句子的主语，如：

Compared with his room, my room is even smaller. 句子的主语是my room ,所以用被动。我的房子被比较。

Comparing  his room, I find my room is even smalle. 主语是I 所以用主动。我进行比较这个动作。注意没有with.

主干句主语you和compare是被动关系，即:you are compared with your classmates.所以用compared with。


如果主干句主语you和compare是主动关系，就可以用comparing.

compared表示被动含义
comparing表示主动含义3/7
Therefore, it is no doubt that students canacquire as much nutrient from the extracurricular) activitiesas from the schooling.

As an old saying goes, all work, no play, makes Jack a dull boy.
Learning by rote（好词）is a terrible way for studies,

it is prone to blow things outof proportion to attractreaders.
the scandals andrumors are relatively amusing than seriouscurrent affairs.
trust crisis 信任危机
The print pressis constrained by severalinborn drawbacks as it originated.
it is handier and thriftier to learn the foreign news by electronic media rather thanthe traditional ones.

What are the most pivotal facilities in a community, which governments should dedicate more money to
the recreation facilities are conventional supported by governments and cost-free forlocal residents.

morphine001

Nowadays, educational problem has been lifted into the focus of whole society. In order to increase the efficiency of student study, some people want to revise the regulation of school. Those people hold we should treat different students differently. For those who can pass the examinations, school should not require them to attend class. Because they already show their talents, this kind of change would endow the students more freedom to develop, which is better for the whole society. However, there are a lot of flaws in that argument. I will show the terrible outcome if the new policy was carried out.（开头稍微写少些）

First, a lot of university students would lose one kind of regulation if they do not have to attend classes. We assumed that those students would utilize the class time to study for themselves. However, it is always no true. They would like to use that time to play computer game, watch TV-series and drink in the bar. Since the university students are sort of immature, they lack of enough capacity to discern which is right and which is wrong. They are easily addicted to those activities if they have too much free time and no certain pressure on themselves. One of my friends is a typical example for that. Once a term, he was reward as honor students. Then the professors begin（began） to lose attention on him and didn't make the mandatory attendance on class. They thought he had good self-discipline ability. However, the result was totally wrong. Since he had a lot of time in that term, he often went to bar and was mislead by some other persons. He became addicted to alcohol already and could not pull himself back. Now he has totally fall behind all of his classmates.

Second, attending class will give you a lot of deep understanding of knowledge even though you have passed the examination. Class provides a space for student to discuss and for professor to teach. Sometimes you can pass the examination by reciting some key points before the examination day. However, you did not grasp that knowledge. If you can attend class, you will have more opportunity to learn from your professors and classmates. Sometime a piece of instruction from them will give you a clearer understanding of this point. Without this atmosphere, people often suck in some area because everyone has some sort of mind limits on some area.

However, it is not fair to only see the cons of that argument. Allowing talented students more free space indeed makes them to develop better. Of course, that is based on the assumption that they correctly use that time and don’t need any other’s instruction. Obviously, it is difficult to meet that requirement.

In a word, I think school should ask all of the students to attend class on-time, even though they can pass the examination.（结尾的话再多写点吧）

总体写的很好了，没大有错了。。。保持住哈

改变

行

改变

Feb 26th


Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Students canget as many benefits from organization or club activities as they can get fromtheir academic studies.


Today, there is a heated discussion on educationof students. Because of heavy academic pressure and fierce competition amongstudents, some people argue that students should put all of their on theacademic studies and leave alone organization or club activities. They thinkstudents could not receive as many benefits as they could in academic studies.However, other people hold the opposite view, saying organization or clubactivities are as same important for students as studies are.  Through careful observation and thoroughthought, I prefer the latter opinion as the following reasons.

To begin with, students can relax themselvesand exercise their bodies by participating some organization or clubactivities. After long-time study, all of students would feel exhaust and sufferthe decrease in memorial and receivable capacity. If they are pushed tocontinue to study at this time, they will feel anxious and unpleasant. Thiskind of mood is not only bad for the studies but also harmful to health. Wealready hear many cases that students suffer so much academic pressure thatthey want to escape it by suicide. In fact, a lot of these kinds of tragediescan be avoided. Spending free time on organization or club activities whichstudents are interested in can effectively release study pressure. At sametime, many these activities can exercise our body and improve our health. Moreand more evidences show the condition of students’ health is becoming worse andworse. If we could not control this trend, that will turn into a disaster.Without support from body, any knowledge could not play a role. However, bytaking part in various activities, especially in sports club, we can obtain arobust body to support our development further.

Second, students can obtain team-workability and leadership. Nowadays, more and more project needs to work in agroup. Team-work capacity doesn’t have more value than it has today. However,studies are relatively independence activities. In most of time, you studyknowledge alone. But organization and club activities involve much more teamwork. Each member shares with his or her own perspective and works together tosolve the problems. More important, if you play a lead role in the club, youwill gradually obtain the leadership potential. That is very important capacitynowadays which means you can use yourself to influence others and hold thewhole team members as a person. At same time, this capacity could not beobtained from academic process. It is an experience that you can only obtainthat form first-hand practice. Obviously, organizational or club activitiesprovide more and better opportunities in this area.

Of course, not any organizational or clubactivities is as great as the other one. The range of activities we discussedabove does not include those activities, which bad for the development of bodyand spirit, like gambling, drug etc. Those activities which prohibited by theregulation or law not only have no help on our progress, but also would ruin allof good characteristic we already have.

All in all, I hold students can get body and spirit health and develop agroup work ability and even leadership potential from all of thosehealthy activities. The benefits are as important as those we get from academicstudies.

sunchou

2.25 独立 修改


Today, there is a heated discussion on educationof students. Because of heavy academic pressure and fierce competition amongstudents, some people argue that students should put all of their （their什么？漏了一个单词吧） on theacademic studies and leave alone organization or club activities. They thinkstudents could not receive as many benefits as they could in academic studies.However, other people hold the opposite view, saying organization or clubactivities are as same important for students as studies are.  Through careful observation and thoroughthought, I prefer the latter opinion as the following reasons（as可以这样用吗？我不清楚对不对了）.

To begin with, students can relax themselvesand exercise their bodies by participating some organization or clubactivities. After long-time study, all of students would feel exhausted and sufferthe decrease in memorial and receivable capacity. If they are pushed tocontinue to study at this time, they will feel anxious and unpleasant. Thiskind of mood is not only bad for the studies but also harmful to health. Wealready hear many cases that students suffer so much academic pressure thatthey want to escape it by suicide. In fact, a lot of these kinds of tragediescan be avoided. Spending free time on organization or club activities whichstudents are interested in can effectively release study pressure. At the sametime, many of these activities can exercise our body and improve our health. Moreand more evidences show the condition of students’ health is becoming worse andworse. If we could not control this trend, that will turn into a disaster.Without support from body, any knowledge could not play a role. However, bytaking part in various activities, especially in sports club, we can obtain arobust body to support our development further.

Second, students can obtain team-workability and leadership. Nowadays, more and more project needs to work in agroup（主语没对，有点中国式英语了。）. Team-work capacity doesn’t have more value than it has today. However,studies are relatively independence（independent） activities. In most of time, you studyknowledge alone. But organization and club activities involve much more teamwork. Each member shares with his or her own perspective and works together tosolve the problems. More importantly, if you play a lead role in the club, youwill gradually obtain the leadership potential. That is very important capacitynowadays which means you can use yourself to influence others and hold thewhole team members as a person. At the same time, this capacity could not beobtained from academic process. It is an experience that you can only obtainthat form（from） first-hand practice. Obviously, organizational or club activitiesprovide more and better opportunities in this area.

Of course, not any organizational or clubactivities is as great as the other one. The range of activities we discussedabove does not include those activities, which are  bad for the development of bodyand spirit, like gambling, drug etc. Those activities which prohibited by theregulation or law not only have no help on our progress, but also would ruin allof the good characteristic we already have.

All in all, I hold students can get body and spirit health and develop agroup work ability and even leadership potential from all of thosehealthy activities. The benefits are as important as those we get from academicstudies

总结：总体思路还是很清晰的，理由充分。
但是我感觉有些基本语法可能不是很清楚，行文有点生硬，词汇和句型还需要丰富。

改变

确实是 感觉 词汇和句型 需要多多的总结才行。。

改变

26 February
Independent Writing:
在家工作好 还是 去公司工作好？

Today,more and more people pursue various working style. Some people hope they canwork at home because they are familiar and comfortable about their homeatmosphere. Others hold the opposite views. They insist on the traditional workstyle- working at company. They think it is still a most efficient way to completework.  Through careful observation and thoroughthought, I think I am inclined to the latter one.

To beginwith, working in company can motivate your working activeness, however workingat home maybe cause you sleepy. There is no denying that every area has itsunique inner function.

Withoutdoubt, Working is the inner function of company. Home is a place where yourelax, have fun and refill your energy. These inner characteristics are bornwith these spaces. If you follow and obey their characteristics, you haveexperience a kind of high efficiency when doing corresponding activities. Incontrast, you will meet additional difficulty when your activities are oppositewith environment of these area. That is why a lot of people will cause doubleor triple times to complete the same amount of workload than they work incompany. Imagining this situation, you are around comfortable bed, deliciousfood and cried children. At that atmosphere, I believe most of people could notconcentrate their whole effort on work. However, at company, you don’t have toworry other things. The entire thing you concern is work itself. This kind ofuninterrupted environment can dramatically raise the working efficiency.

Next,more and more work is needed to complete with the help of group of people. Eventhough we have some advanced long-distance communicate tool which also can helpyou realize this kind of cooperation at home now, this kind of method is stilllack of efficient. Face to face communication is still most productive. Incompany, people can sit together in one meeting room easily and discuss the solutionto kinds of problem directly. If you work at home, you will found it isimpossible to perfectly handle some question needed to complete by group. Maybeyou can use telephone, video call and email to communicate with others. But allof this tool waste a lot of time and could not express you idea adequately andclearly when compared with direct communication. Even more, this kind ofindirect method can cause some kind of distortion of your idea, which maybe resultsin big problem for project.

Ofcourse, working at home has some advantage at certain extent. For example, youdo not have to get up early and hurry to catch up bus to get remote company ontime. And if you don’t like to wear professional suit, that is also a good ideabecause you can wear whatever you want at home. However, when compared all ofmerits with the low working efficiency at home, I prefer to not work at homesince efficiency is first power, as an old saying.

All inall, I hold working at company is better than working at home because there isa better environment and is good for cooperation in company.

sunchou

2.26 独立 修改


Today,more and more people pursue various working style. Some people hope they canwork at home because they are familiar（fimiliar with） and comfortable about their homeatmosphere. Others hold the opposite views. They insist on the traditional workstyle- working at company. They think it is still a most efficient way to completework.  Through careful observation and thoroughthought, I think I am inclined to the latter one.



To beginwith, working in company can motivate your working activeness, however workingat home maybe cause you sleepy. There is no denying that every area has itsunique inner function.

Withoutdoubt, Working is the inner function of company. Home is a place where yourelax, have fun and refill your energy. These inner characteristics are bornwith these spaces. If you follow and obey their characteristics, you haveexperience a kind of high efficiency when doing corresponding activities. Incontrast, you will meet additional difficulty when your activities are oppositewith environment of these area. That is why a lot of people will cause doubleor triple times to complete the same amount of workload than they work incompany. Imagining this situation, you are around comfortable bed, deliciousfood and cried children. At （in）that atmosphere, I believe most of people could notconcentrate their whole effort on work. However, at company, you don’t have toworry about other things. The entire thing you concern is work itself. This kind ofuninterrupted environment can dramatically raise the working efficiency.



Next,more and more work is needed to complete with the help of group of people. Eventhough we have some advanced long-distance communicate（communicating） tool which also can helpyou realize this kind of cooperation at home now, this kind of method is stilllack of efficient. Face to face communication is still most productive. Incompany, people can sit together in one meeting room easily and discuss the solutionto kinds of problem directly. If you work at home, you will found it isimpossible to perfectly handle some question needed to complete by group. Maybeyou can use telephone, video call and email to communicate with others. But allof this tool waste a lot of time and could not express you idea adequately andclearly when compared with direct communication. Even more, this kind ofindirect method can cause some kind of distortion of your idea, which maybe resultsin（may result in） big problem for project.



Ofcourse, working at home has some advantage at certain extent. For example, youdo not have to get up early and hurry to catch up bus to get remote company ontime. And if you don’t like to wear professional suit, that is also a good ideabecause you can wear whatever you want at home. However, when compared all ofmerits with the low working efficiency at home（compared 和 I 不搭配）, I prefer to not work at homesince efficiency is first power, as an old saying.



All inall, I hold working at company is better than working at home because there isa better environment and is good for cooperation in company.


conclusion：
文章总体的结构是相当正确的，思路清晰。
但是还是觉得词汇和某些语法不是很熟悉。