自己写的一篇TPO上的作文 请指教

mashengyi

文章题目是讲"do you agree we spend more time on what we want to do than what we should do"I agree with the idea that people spend too much time on what theylike rather than they should do. To be closely, I want to talk about somethingin our college life. Evidently no one can overlook the importance of our study,it is high time for every graduated student made effort to work hard. This iswhat we should spend time on now.
 Actuallyall of the graduated student should pass the entrance test before we attend theuniversity. Of course we all pay a lot attention to our high school life, it’sa period of tough time for our Chinese students. Eventually during a long timefight with patient, decision, confident, and ourselves, we got rights to attendour fighting for school. There is nothing can describe the feeling when weaccepted the entrance evidence. Compared to the high school, the college wouldbe much easier, we have much time to be free and do whatever we like. Somepeople choose to study in library, but on the contrary some one choose to laydown grass with their girl or boy friend.
 Thusfrom my perspective, I think a college student should spend more time on study.Firstly the college is the last step before we go to work, so it will be varyparticular for all of us, the knowledge we leaned and the skill we had determineour future directly. For another reason, we made sense about how much we paidfor the college entrance right, it’s not smart to tear down them.
 Whereasthere exist a widespread misconception that find a lover in college will be thebest time in your life, nonetheless detailed analysis had let us to think thatsave your time to study is your smart choice. Sullenly we have saw many couplesbreak out when we go out the university. If they have decided to together one of them would had to give upsomething. On no account can we ignore that people will choose career ratherthan their college love. This is a certification that we are not ready yet tolove. Accordingly the time we spend on our lover for this year means nothing toour future, in some way we could define it a wasting time.
 Ina short word, people have spend much time on the thing them want to do, if  you wake up more earlier we will find it’snot too late to change.