我的作文topic1~~求高人拍！！！

伊依丫丫

TWE185
Topic 1: Why people attend college?
  It's become more and more popular to go to college for further study after graduate from high school. More and more parents are willing to send their children to colleges or universities to learn skills, communicate with others out of family. So that their children can be more competitive in the job market.
 Before entering college, most of what we learnt are basic science including math, physics, language and so on. We have limit opportunities to specialize. While in the college situation will be changed, we have the chance to choose one or two major which we are interested in. And preparing for taking jobs associated with this major. For example, we are competent in one kind of the foreign language. We can not only work as a travel guide, but also be qualified for translate jobs in newspaper companies and media companies.
 Additionally, degree holders compare with those who do not have credentials are more competitive, even if they are in the same level. Most of employers are willing to pay higher salary to degree holders, because diplomas somewhat are accepted by public as a represent of competence of a certain field. For instance, on the interview,employers are employers are not know each other very well. Employees are more likely to give the job to the applicant who have a credential of a well-know college. They do not know applicant, at least they have heard the name of the college.
 After attending college, we start to do everything by ourselves. Without the help of our parent, it is common for us to face some problems that we can not solve them all by ourselves. And then, we may need our teachers' or roommates' help. At that time, it's important for us to communicate with others. A strong relationship will be built between professors and us through high frequent communication. In the future career, professors and classmates may offer you some unexpected benefits. For example you are well perform in your major and your professor know you better than others. He or she may recommend you to some company or provide you a job in his or her lab after you graduate. At least, he or she can write a recommend letter for you if you need.
 All above are what I concerned why more and more young people choose to go to college before finding jobs.

bigtigeryx

more and more在开头这么重要的段落你就用了两遍。。。扣分还不扣死啊。。。结尾就用了一句话。。。
光开头和结尾就是两个硬伤啊。。。中间段都不用看了。。。