求助 有时间就看看吧，时间充裕就提提建议吧 TWE006

晚生有礼

这是我的第二篇习作，时间充裕的话提提建议吧，我的作文是自学的，自学的缺点就在于不容易发现自己的错误，所以大家改改错吧，先谢过了！

还有一个问题，如何能够提高自己写作的速度呢？我写作文太慢了！

If you could change one important thing in your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

If there is one thing in my hometown that could be changed based on my choice, that would be museums undoutedly. There are two main reasons for my decision, the importance of museums and the need to improve the existed ones and build new ones in my hometown.

The importance of museums is significant. First, children are curious about everything, and museums would be perfect teachers to them. Children can obtain a great deal of knowledge while enjoying themselves, so they can learn more in museums in a relatively easier and more enjoyable way. In addition, adult can also enlarge their learning by visiting museums. Furthermore, for visitors, museums can be ideal places to visit. Visiting museums can be convenient and let visitors learn the most at the shortest time. Museums can attract more visitors, thus improve the economy in some way.

The poor condition of museums in my hometown is another factor that lead to the need of reforming museums. There is only one museum in our city. In fact, it is too poor to be called as a museum. It can not play the role of a qualified science teacher. My hometown has a long histoty and is famous for copper, everyone, no matter old or young, is proud of our city, and we really hope its culture can be known to more people, so a museum of history or copper should be built. What is more, the so-called scientific museum existing now should be improved. A prosperous society is based on the recognition of the importance and full use of science.

In conclusion, museums would be my first choice if I can change one important thing in my hometown, because museums are important to both the residents and the visitors, it can also improve the economy of our city, and the conditions of the museums in my hometown need to be improved. In my opinion, it is really necessary that more fund is given to the improvements and building of museums.

[此贴子已经被作者于2008-1-23 23:00:48编辑过]

晚生有礼

为什么没有人拍呢？我两天写一篇作文的宏伟计划啊...

没办法，可能是写得太差了，郁闷

alexwithibt

大概的改了一下. 我改的也不好.

觉得LZ最好再多写些example在每段里面.

If there is one thing in my hometown that could be changed based on my choice, that would be museums undoutedly. There are two main reasons for my decision, the importance of museums and the need to improve the existed ones and build new ones in my hometown.

 

(If I am offered a chance to change one thing in my hometown, it would be museums definitely.  There are two primary reasons to force me to make this decision: the significant purpose of teaching and benefits of finance.)

 

The importance of museums is significant. First, children are curious about everything, and museums would be perfect teachers to them. Children can obtain a great deal of knowledge while enjoying themselves, so they can learn more in museums in a relatively easier and more enjoyable way. In addition, adult can also enlarge their learning by visiting museums. Furthermore, for visitors, museums can be ideal places to visit. Visiting museums can be convenient and let visitors learn the most at the shortest time. Museums can attract more visitors, thus improve the economy in some way.

 

(For one thing, museum is the best teacher. A scientific museum can both satisfy the curiosity of children toward novelty and help them to absorb a great deal of knowledge outside of school class as well. Our parents invariably experience such dilemma in daily life that our children suddenly ask a question which we neither think about it deliberately before, nor actually do not know the answer at all. Accordingly, in the most time, our parents merely give a seemingly correct but actually false answer that might lead unforeseeable effect on children’s developments. If in this case we go to museum with our children and allow children immerse environments with movie or real scientific model as well as explain to them in detail, I believe every puzzle in child minds will easily be solved. …………..)

[此贴子已经被作者于2008-1-25 15:38:08编辑过]

alexwithibt

大概的改了一下. 我改的也不好.

觉得LZ最好再多写些example在每段里面.

If there is one thing in my hometown that could be changed based on my choice, that would be museums undoutedly. There are two main reasons for my decision, the importance of museums and the need to improve the existed ones and build new ones in my hometown.

 

(If I am offered a chance to change one thing in my hometown, it would be museums definitely.  There are two primary reasons to force me to make this decision: the significant purpose of teaching and benefits of finance.)

 

The importance of museums is significant. First, children are curious about everything, and museums would be perfect teachers to them. Children can obtain a great deal of knowledge while enjoying themselves, so they can learn more in museums in a relatively easier and more enjoyable way. In addition, adult can also enlarge their learning by visiting museums. Furthermore, for visitors, museums can be ideal places to visit. Visiting museums can be convenient and let visitors learn the most at the shortest time. Museums can attract more visitors, thus improve the economy in some way.

 

(For one thing, museum is the best teacher. A scientific museum can both satisfy the curiosity of children toward novelty and help them to absorb a great deal of knowledge outside of school class as well. Our parents invariably experience such dilemma in daily life that our children suddenly ask a question which we neither think about it deliberately before, nor actually do not know the answer at all. Accordingly, in the most time, our parents merely give a seemingly correct but actually false answer that might lead unforeseeable effect on children’s developments. If in this case we go to museum with our children and allow children immerse environments with movie or real scientific model as well as explain to them in detail, I believe every puzzle in child minds will easily be solved. …………..)

晚生有礼

万分感谢，我原本还在头疼字数的问题呢，现在发现原来把每一点展开就好多了

唉 我啥时候才能把复杂词汇和句式运用的炉火纯青呢？