[求助]TWE001請大牛們評評分，修改一下

liaokangyu

People attend college or university for many different reason .In my opinion, people attend college or university for the purpose to learn more knowledge, make friends from different backgrounds and countries , and prepare for their future career .

First of all , people want to learn more knowledge in the college or university .For example ,some people want to know more about the business world , and therefore they would major in business administration or finance in the college or university .Others want to know about the beauty of architect , and thus they would like to learn how to design functional and safe buildings in the college or university .Moreover, in any college or university , each student will acquire their desired information through the systematic curriculums .

In addition , people want to make friends from different backgrounds and countries .For example , it is necessary to admit students from different industries for a graduate school which focus on business administration .Because each student will share their different experience with other people when they are discussing a project ,and therefore they will be able to reach a holistic and best conclusion .Furthermore , students will be able to meet classmates from other countries , and thus they could learn the second language and know more about the societies and cultures of other countries .

Finally, people want to learn more skills which will be helpful to their future career. In every college or university, career development office will offer many useful materials .Therefore, students will know how to write the correct resume and how to prepare the interview .Besides, career development office will invite alumni from different industries to share their experience in the business world.

In summary, I think everyone want to be success in the future .Therefore, they want to learn systematic and useful knowledge .Moreover, they want to accumulate human resources to add the successful chance in the career path. Through the education in college or university, people will get what they want.

pengstone

以下是引用liaokangyu在2005-4-12 16:21:00的发言：

People attend college or university for many different reason .In my opinion, people attend college or university for the purpose to learn more knowledge, make friends from different backgrounds and countries , and prepare for their future career .

First of all , people want to learn more knowledge in the college or university .For example ,some people want to know more about the business world , and therefore they would major in business administration or finance in the college or university .Others want to know about the beauty of architect , and thus they would like to learn how to design functional and safe buildings in the college or university .Moreover, in any college or university , each student will acquire their desired information through the systematic curriculums .

In addition , people want to make friends from different backgrounds and countries .For example , it is necessary to admit students from different industries for a graduate school which focus on business administration .Because each student will share their（his or her） different experience with other people when they are discussing a project ,and therefore they will be able to reach a holistic and best conclusion .Furthermore , students will be able to meet classmates from other countries , and thus they could learn the second language and know more about the societies and cultures of other countries .

Finally, people want to learn more skills which will be helpful to their future career. In every college or university, career development office will offer many useful materials .Therefore, students will know how to write the correct resume and how to prepare the interview .Besides, career development office will invite alumni from different industries to share their experience in the business world.

In summary, I think everyone want to be success in the future .Therefore, they want to learn systematic and useful knowledge .Moreover, they want to accumulate human resources to add the successful chance in the career path. Through the education in college or university, people will get what they want.

  很好文章，5分是应该有的。楼主好像对美国的研究生院很熟悉，是吧