TWE144

請大牛們幫幫忙..指導一下

我自己有修改了一些...不過還是有許多錯誤的地方看不出來(語法..邏輯)

想請各為指點迷津...謝謝嚕..

144 Would you prefer to live in a traditional house or in a modern apartment building? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice

People can not select their parents, but they can choose the place where they want to live. Which place do you want to live: in the traditional house or in the modern apartment building? Different people have different answers. Some people like to live in the traditional house because they feel that they have their own privacy and space. However, other people who hold the opposite view consider a modern apartment building as more benefit beneficial than traditional house. As far as I am concerned, I strongly support the latter and choose a modern apartment building to live. There are numerous reasons why I support and I would explore only a few of the most important ones here.

On compelling argument in favor of my statement is that it is much safer to live in the modern apartment building than (to)live in a traditional house. First, the modern apartment has the guard who can monitor the entrance. If there is a stranger who wants to enter the apartment, the guard will ask the person some information in order to identify the person. Furthermore, the modern apartment equips new line that can decrease the fire possibility the possibility of the fire. In the traditional house, the line is so old that (it) may cause fire accident more easily than apartment building. So it is safe to live in the modern apartment.

Another compelling argument to support my idea is that living in the modern apartment is more convenient than (living)in the traditional house. For example, when I lived in the apartment, I did not have to clean the snow which piled up in front of my building. However, when I move in to the traditional house, I have to clean the snow (to)not only facilitate our entrance but also prevent someone get (from getting)hurt in front of my house.

While just like coins, every thin has two sides. It is true that we can have our privacy in our own house. We can have yard to grow some plants. We also can have our own parking space which is free charge. However, we have to repair our house on our owns. It is a tired mission and may cost more than live (living)in the apartment.

For the reasons mentioned above, living in the modern apartment building has many advantages, such as safety, convenience, low cost and so on. Therefore, it is safely draw (we can safely reach)the conclusion that living in a modern apartment building is better than in the traditional house.