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235852140 · 发表于 2012-8-14 01:42:56

8.14 独立写作
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement. Although science and technology will continue to improve, the most significant improvement for the quality of people's lives have already taken place

With the science and technology developing rapidly, the issue of whether our lives have been improved or not is so much concerned that it aroused a wide discussion. A common belief is that the most significant improvement for the quality of people's lives, such as relations among people and environment of the Earth, have already taken place. In taking various factors into account, to large extent, I side on the opposite.

First of all, it is no denying that science and technology bring a lot of convenience to our daily life. With the invention of mobile phones, we are able to keep close touch with our families and friends even though we are mils apart. With a simple click on my laptop, I get all the information I want from the internet and even buy a new dress for my mother without going outside. And with some easy operate on the washing machine, I get out of many chores and enjoy a coffee with my friends... Can you imagine what our lives will be if all of those inventions disappeared? Return to protohistory age? Therefore, it is the science and technology that facilities us every day.

To carry the idea further, the conclusion that technology ultimately widens the gap among people is awkward in serving as a convincing reference that can offer objective understanding about the role that technology plays in personal relation. For example, citizens living in Beijing have to spent at lease two hours to arrival in Tianjin by train, but after the speed increased, it only costs 25 minutes by the inter-city train. These improvement brings people in these two cities together and is in favor of their development.

Finally，I have to concede that we did destroy our environment at past and some region of earth still doing that for development. However, those environmental problems do not all contribute to the improvement of science and technology. Taking the water pollution as an example, we, human beings, discharged untreated sewage into the rivers. How can we easily say that it is all because of science? I suppose that we would better search our hearts. Moreover, those people who always complain the effects of science and technology may fail to consider many other factors, such as money, and also they may blind to see the convenience and benefits they bring.

In conclusion, the science and technology not only bring us lots of convenience but also keep people closely. And it is not the science itself take place some important thing for quality of people's lives, but ourselves did.

用时：一个小时（蜗牛一般）
自我感觉：科学类话题稍微好写一点，但是怀疑是否有跑题的说

欢迎从文章结构，思路，遣词造句等各方面挑刺。

235852140 · 发表于 2012-8-14 23:48:09

8.14 综合 tpo12
The lecture claims that the professional painting, which depicts a full-length portrait of a teenage girl, is not Jane Austen. This claim is totally in disagreement with that of the reading passage, which suggests that there are good reasons to believe she is the subject.

According to the lecture, although the Austen's family gave authority to use the portrait as an illustration in an edition of her letters, it is not convincing to conclude that the girl in the portrait is Jane Austen. The reason is that it was 70 years after Jane dead when her family gave permission and the member of her family might have never seen her certainly. The reading passage, by contrast, suggests that Austen's family clearly recognized it as a portrait of the author.

The second point of difference between the lecture and the reading passage is the similarity of the face in the Cassandra's sketch and the painting. The professor asserts that Austen's family is very large and thus there might be some other children or teenagers who looks like Austen. However, the reading passage holds that many details in the painting, such as eyebrows, nose, and mouth, are very much like those in the sketch.

Finally, the lecture argues that it can not be concluded only because of the style of Ozias Humphrey since he did not selling paints in London when Austen was a teenager and when he was in London, Austen was 27 years old, older than the girl in the portrait. However, the reading passage contends that he might be hired by the wealthy Austen family in the late 1780s and early 1790s, exactly the period when Jane was a teenager.

用时：20分钟
总结：听力有听两边，部分细节听的不好。

klllun · 发表于 2012-8-15 20:43:27

红色错误,蓝色修改建议
The lecture claims that the professional painting, which depicts a full-length portrait of a teenage girl, is not Jane Austen. This claim is totally in disagreement with that of the reading passage, which suggests that there are good reasons to believe she is the subject.(第一段的描述很清晰啊，继续加油呀)

According to the lecture, although the Austen's family gave authority to use the portrait as an illustration in an edition of her letters, it is not convincing to conclude that the girl in the portrait is Jane Austen. The reason is that it was 70 years after Jane dead when her family gave permission and the member of her family might have never seen her certainly. The reading passage, by contrast, suggests that Austen's family clearly recognized it as a portrait of the author.

The second point of difference between the lecture and the reading passage is the similarity of the face in the Cassandra's sketch and the painting. The professor asserts that Austen's family is very large and thus there might be some other children or teenagers who looks like Austen. However, the reading passage holds that many details in the painting, such as eyebrows, nose, and mouth, are very much like those in the sketch.（似乎最后一句这样描述也可以，当如果增加更多听力中的细节，比如还例句了一个人跟AUSTEN 长的尤其像，会更好。听力中的例子尽量用上哦~）

Finally, the lecture argues that it can not be concluded only because of the style of Ozias Humphrey since he did not selling paints in London when Austen was a teenager and when he was in London, Austen was 27 years old, older than the girl in the portrait. （这里用的句子前面都有not了，似乎可以使用not...until的句型）However, the reading passage contends that he might be hired by the wealthy Austen family in the late 1780s and early 1790s, exactly the period when Jane was a teenager.（这里听力出错了哟，是因为stamp表明的时间不符合）

听力加油哦！

235852140 · 发表于 2012-8-16 14:55:42

8.15 独立 Parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes. D/A.

In recent years, the issue of family education is so much concerned that it aroused a wide discussion. A common belief is that parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from own mistakes, although making mistakes is a terrible thing. After taking various factors into consideration, at large extent, I agree with this opinion.

To begin with, making mistakes and then learning from it are the best lessons for children. Since children have not attend to the society yet, they do not be forced to pay a high price for mistakes and it is the only time for them to get experience from frustration. Moreover, success comes to those who are willing to risk making mistakes and learn from those mistakes. For example, when I was eight years old in the elementary school, my mother have never woken me up daily to avoid me be late for school and I got late one day. My teacher letted me make stand in front of my classmates for a long time as punishment. It caused me to feel shame and I carved a word-"early"-into my desk to remind me. I have not been late for any classes or meeting thereafter.

Moreover, always protecting children from making mistakes would result in the loss of their creativity. Every kid has his or her own fresh ideas and imaginations because they have not understood and got used to fixed rules yet. Taking Newton as an example, he usually dismantled some machines and sometimes can not install them back, but his parents have never punished him. It contributes to Newton's success in his later life.

Finally, I have to concede that some mistakes, which are concerned about children's health and value system as well as social stability, must be restricted rigidly, such as being addicted to smokes, alcohol, or even drugs, but others can be turned a blind eye. And it is better for children to experience difficult, because if the parents clear obstacles in front of their children's roads all the time, their children would be too comfortable to face any problems by themselves.

In conclusion, allow children to make mistakes and learn from them not only are the best lessons for them but also do good to their development of creativity and independence. After all, parents can not help their children forever.

sherryzhangh · 发表于 2012-8-16 15:46:47

Parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes. D/A.

In recent years, the issue of family education is so much concerned that it aroused a wide discussion. A common belief is that parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from it.~~own mistakes,~~ Although making mistakes is a terrible thing. After taking various factors into consideration, at large extent, I agree with this opinion.

To begin with, making mistakes and then learning from it are the best lessons for children. Since children have not attend to the society yet, they do not be forced to pay a high price for mistakes and it is ~~the only~~(不是only吧，人生时时有挫折)good time for them to get experience from frustration. Moreover, success comes to those who are willing to take risks and make ~~ing~~ mistakes as well as ~~and~~ learn from those mistakes. For example, when I was eight years old in the elementary school, my mother have never woke n me up daily to avoid me to be late for school. ~~and I got late one day~~. But one day I was later for school, my teacher ~~letted me make~~made me stand in front of my classmates for a long time as punishment. It ~~caused me to~~ feel shamed and I carved a word-"early"-into my desk to remind myself. I have not been late for any classes or meeting thereafter. (你这个例子太可爱了，有小岳飞的风范)

Moreover, always protecting children from making mistakes would result in the loss of their creativity. Every kid has his or her own fresh ideas and imaginations because they have not understood and got used to fixed rules yet. Taking Newton as an example, he usually dismantled some machines and sometimes cannot install them back, but his parents have never punished him. It contributes to Newton's success in his later life.

Finally, I have to concede that some mistakes, which are concerned about children's health and value system as well as social stability, must be restricted rigidly, such as being addicted to smokes, alcohol, or even drugs, but others can be turned a blind eye. And it is better for children to experience difficulties, because if the parents clear obstacles in front of their children's roads all the time, ~~their~~ children would be too comfortable to face any problems by themselves.

In conclusion, allow children to make mistakes and learn from them not only are the best lessons for them but also do ~~good to~~benefit their development of creativity and independence. After all, parents cannot help their children forever.

结构还可以，但是还可以更紧凑一些。多用逻辑连词。加油！

sherryzhangh · 发表于 2012-8-16 17:23:33

谢谢亲的更改,很详细,很受用, 我的语法是很弱, 标点符号也不知道怎么用. 给你改的没有那么详尽,是根据语感和经验改的,不一定对.
改的不对的话可以告诉我,希望共同进步. 谢谢 !
对了综合什么时候可以改告诉我.

235852140 · 发表于 2012-8-16 21:28:55

8.15 综合交的好晚不好意思哦

The lecture claims that the private trade of fossils has many benefits, which overweighs the disadvantages. This is totally in disagreement with that of the reading passage, which holds that it is an unfortunate development for both scientists and the general public.

According to the lecture, the professor believed that the public does not loss the chance to see fossils but obtain more opportunities to see them. The reason is that commercial fossil hunting makes lots of fossils available for purchase, and as a result, many public schools and libraries can buy some and display them for the public. However, the reading passage believed that private collectors always do not allow the public to see fossils, which lead to a decline in public interest in fossils.

The second point of difference between the lecture and the reading passage is whether scientists are losing access to some of valuable and important fossils. The lecture asserts that it is impossible since every fossil must be evaluated before selling and scientists are the only group of people who are able to give a scientific identified. Therefore， every fossil passes through the hands of archaeologists first and thus scientists do not miss out any potentially crucial discoveries. The reading passage, by contrast, claims that wealthy fossil buyers can spent virtually limitless amounts of money to acquire rarest fossils, but scientists and the museums and universities can not compete successfully with them.

Finally, the professor said that many fossils might be undiscovered without commercial fossil collectors, even though they sometimes destroy valuable evidence. It is because that universities and other institution do not have enough fossil collecting project. However, the reading passage suggests that most commercial fossil collectors are untrained or uninterested in carrying out the careful field work.

In conclusion, the lecture and the reading passages hold completely different opinion toward effects of private trade of fossil.

总结：这篇听力里的女人说话好难听懂啊！听了好几遍。。

sherryzhangh · 发表于 2012-8-16 22:53:45

The lecture claims that the privatetrade of fossils has many benefits, which overweighs the disadvantages. 加个连词吧（ however, 或者 onthe contrary） This is totally in disagreementwith that of the reading passage, which holds that it is an unfortunatedevelopment for both scientists and the general public.

According tothe lecture, the professor believed that the public does not loss the chance tosee fossils but obtain more opportunities to ~~see~~ closely view them. The reason is that commercial fossil huntingmakes lots of fossils available for purchase, ~~and~~ as a result, manypublic schools and libraries can afford to buysome and display them for the public. However, the reading passage believedthat private collectors always do not allow the public to see fossils, whichlead to a decline in public interest in fossils.

The secondpoint of difference between the lecture and the reading passage is whetherscientists are losing access to some of valuable and important fossils. Thelecture asserts that it is impossible since every fossil must be evaluatedbefore selling and scientists are the only groups of people who are able to ~~give~~provide a scientific identification~~identified~~. Therefore， every fossil passes through the hands of archaeologistsfirst and thus scientists do not miss out any potentially crucial discoveries.The reading passage, by contrast, claims that wealthy fossil buyers can spentvirtually limitless amounts of money to acquire rarest fossils, but scientistsand the museums and universities cannot compete with them successfully. (调换位子)

Finally, theprofessor said that many fossils might be undiscovered ~~without~~ if is not (这应该是个条件关系吧，如果没有什么就没有什么 )commercial fossil collectors, even though they sometimesdestroy valuable evidence. （这个不应该是个国因关系吧，应该是虽然经常毁坏，但是总比还埋在地下好吧） It is because thatuniversities and other institution do not have enough fossil collectingproject.（这个应该事学校和科学家没有资金去开采吧） However, the reading passage suggests that mostcommercial fossil collectors are untrained or uninterested in carrying out thecareful field work.

Inconclusion, the lecture and the reading passages hold completely differentopinion toward effects of private trade of fossil.

楼主的听力应该加强！

235852140 · 发表于 2012-8-17 13:34:33

8.16 独立 Nowadays, it is much easier to achieve success with help from one’s family than what is like before.
不同意，body部分思路：
第一段：成功是很复杂的，包括内外很多因素，家庭的帮助只是其中之一。并且，家庭的帮助和一个人的成功没有直接联系。
第二段：即使有直接联系，也很难说一定是正面影响，很可能是负影响。举例：富二代--条件太好--以至于失去奋斗的动力--不能去的个人成功。
第三段：让步，家庭的确会对孩子的心智发展起到一定作用，但是这不意味着孩子更容易成功。因为大家都是和自己同时代的人比，不是和过去的人比。--成功的困难度没有变
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I understand that nowadays, with the improvement of people's living standards, family's help, such as economic support, can play an important role in one's success. But is that means people are much easier to be successful at present? Taking various factors into account, however, I side on the opposite.

As is often the case, achieving success in future is acknowledged as a complicated task whose solutions involves a combination of efforts on both the internal and external layers and can not be simplified by merely highlighting the significance of family's help. One's talent, hardworking, and opportunities and so on also contribute to one's success. Therefore, there is no direct relation between one's success and his or her family's help, and not mentioned people are now much easier to achieve success than before.

Though family's help enjoys relation with one's success, there is no guarantee that a smooth operation would be accomplished. In the shadow of the family, one might be too dependent on it to have the ability of independence, especially for those family with good financial conditions, because living in a wealthy family, most of the people might loss the power of struggle. Taking the rich second generation for example, their parents have given them everything they need, without any effort on the kids' part. Thus, how can they become individual success?

Final, I have to concede that family education, at some degree, is helpful to children's mental development, but it does not mean that one is much easier to achieve success now. We are competing with those in the same era, not those in the past. Therefore, no matter how the external elements change, the difficulty of achieving succuss never change.

In conclusion, being successful is a complicated task that has never been easier to achieve. What is more, it is essential for us to have circumspection before drawing any conclusion.

sherryzhangh · 发表于 2012-8-17 14:39:40

I understand that nowadays, (Nowadays, It is understandable that, with the improvement of people's living standards, family's help, such as economic support, can play an important role in one's success. But does it~~is that~~ means people are much easier to be successful at present? Taking various factors into account, however, I side on the opposite.

As ( it 感觉少个主语)is often the case, achieving success in future is acknowledged as a complicated task for individual（这个whose是谁的宾语从句？）whose solutions involves a combination of efforts on both the internal and external layers and cannot be simplified by merely highlighting the significance of family's help. (这个长句太长了，如果没有把握的话可以不用这么长，这个句子很混乱)Moreover, one's talent, hardworking, and opportunities and so on also contribute to one's success. Therefore, there is no direct relation between one's success and his or her family's help, ~~and not mentioned~~ it is rather unconceivable that people are now much easier to achieve success than before.

Though family's network may contributes a lot for individual success. ~~help enjoys relation with one's success,~~ there is no guarantee that a smooth operation would be accomplished. Worst yet, in the shadow of the family, one might be too dependent on it to have the ability of independence, especially for those families(注意单复数) with good financial conditions, because living in a wealthy family, most of the people might loss the power of struggle. Taking the rich second generation for example, their parents have given them everything they need, without any effort on the kids' part. Thus, how can they ~~become~~ achieve individual success?

Final, I have to concede that family education, at some degree, is helpful to children's mental development, but it does not mean that one is much easier to achieve success now. We are competing with those in the same era, not those in the past. Therefore, no matter how the external elements change, the difficulties of achieving success never change.

In conclusion, being successful is a complicated task that has never been easier to achieve. What is more, it is essential for us to have circumspection before drawing any conclusion.

感觉你的论证不是很有利，没有层次感和逻辑性。如果这样的话文章很松散，会更不好写。结尾的再阐述，有些跑题。

有志者，事竟成。小女子的IBT作文，欢迎大家拍砖！虚心求教！共同进步！

所属分类: TOEFL / IELTS

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有志者，事竟成。 小女子的IBT作文，欢迎大家拍砖！虚心求教！共同进步！

所属分类: TOEFL / IELTS

正在浏览此版块的会员 ()

有志者，事竟成。小女子的IBT作文，欢迎大家拍砖！虚心求教！共同进步！