牛牛们来看看吧

Additionally, erecting(这个好像不能用在建立学校里） a university will bring tremendous noise, particularly the traffic noise which is produced by some students who commute between school gate and the business zone, which is include some(用such as可以吗？） drink stores. The noise will influence on some people's sleeping so they cannot have a good rest. What's more, the value of the house, which is adjacent to the community, will rise greatly. (这个我感觉不是很好）According to a recent survey in china,  the price of houses near universities are much higher  than  that of other houses in the same city.

呵呵，我想到的就这么多，水平有限，仅供参考。：）

erecting a university我好像在报纸上见过

这样啊，我不知道。呵呵，见笑拉

What’s more, erecting a university will bring tremendous noise, particularly, traffic noise which is produced by some students who commute between school gate （gate 可以去掉）and the business zone, which is include(改为includes) some drink stores(drink stores可以改成coffee shops 或cafeterias). （另外，划线的这一整句的结构比较复杂，有些乱，后一个which从句很难跟noise连上. 我试改成: erecting a university will bring tremendous noise that produced by students commuting between school and the business zone. Residents around the area may also suffer from the noises generated by students at the cafeterias.)

The noise will influence on some people not only sleeping at noon, but also sleeping at night. However, the value of the house, which is adjacent the community, will have a tremendous increase(will increase tremendously). According to a recent survey in china(China), some houses, which approach the university, is more valuable than others houses, which are far away (from) the university.

多谢你们的修改  我学了很多东西

What’s more, erecting a university will bring tremendous noise,particularly(,) traffic noise (which is) produced (by) when (some) students (who) commute between the school gate and the business zone, which (is) even include(s) some drink stores. The noise will influence (on some) people not only sleeping at noon, but also sleepingat night.

                                                        people’s sleeping not only at noon but also at night.

However, the value of the house, which is adjacent the community,will have a

                  the value of the house adjacent to the community will have a

tremendous increase. According to a recent survey in china,some houses, which

great (obvious) increase.                                              China,            houses close to

approach the university, is more valuable than othershouses, which are far away the

universities are often moreexpensive than those not.

university.