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[作文互改] issue 128, 怎么感觉issue在恶搞呢

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楼主
发表于 2012-4-27 09:12:12 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
128. Some people argue that successful leaders in government, industry, or other fields must be highly competitive. Other people claim that in order to be successful, a leader must be willing and able to cooperate with others.



Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.




字数:447不限时
提纲:1. 竞争意识和合作意识对一个人都很重要
2. 过度的竞争而没有合作,不一定能通向成功
3. 过度的合作而没有竞争也不能成功
观点:领导既要竞争意识,也要合作意识




With the explosive development of society, competition and cooperation become more significant to success. Some hold the viewpoint that competition is a dispensable character of successful leaders while others claim cooperation as essential. However, as a whole effect in general, successful leaders must equipped themselves with both competition and cooperation .

To begin with, both competition and cooperation do have positive impulsion to success. Competition provide leaders with the motivation to improve themselves. In competition they would compare with other competitors, which leads to exposure of disadvantages. While in cooperation, leaders come from many spheres of knowledge would communicate different opinions, which could draws the strong points of others to offset their own weakness. They both have preeminent influence on leaders.


However, one leader who is highly competitive but does not has the consciousness of cooperation is less likely to be successful. For instance, during the Warring States Period, the King of Zhao has two competent ministers. One is Ling Xiangru who is civil minister and the other is senior general—Lian Po. They both have a momentous effect on the development of Zhao, and they also compete with each other. Nevertheless, they are competitive so exclusively, both merely concentrate on the personal struggle, that both of them fail to complete their duties to the country. What’s worse, it results in Zhao defeated by the neighboring country. If both of them could cooperate with each other, then they can extract both superior ones and the Zhao would win the battle. It’s exclusive competition that leads to the two leaders’ failure.


Similarly , merely cooperate with others without competition could not help leaders to the successful shore. I still remember when I as a monitor in high school, I cooperated with other classes to complete our own experiments. Due to our cooperation I obtained the results of experiment ahead of time. However, when I handed in the report of experiment, the teacher found that the reports from different classes are all the same, which no one have a breakthrough on the basis of origin. Cooperation has helped us to achieve the experiment quickly and easily. And it is also the extensive cooperation that leads to the failure of the experiment. If we are competitive with each other, then all of us have the consciousness to make a progress so that we would have more excellent results.


In summary, competition and cooperation could not be separated to a successful leader. Competition motivates the leader to improve himself constantly and cooperation helps the leader to absorb others’ advantages, which also facilitates us. Only a leader with these two qualities could he make a great progress and be a successful one.

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沙发
发表于 2012-4-27 09:20:23 | 只看该作者
关于你的提纲,我觉得有必要纠正的是,竞争不应分为过度与否,而应是良性还是恶性
板凳
发表于 2012-4-27 09:25:46 | 只看该作者
关于你的内容,写的有些简单,不够深入,你只说了竞争和合作都重要,但你没有给出一个很好的结论,那就是怎么避免恶性竞争等。还有一点就是Similarly , merely cooperate with others without competition could not help leaders to the successful shore. I still remember when I as a,这种论证并不好,分论点后面直接接例子,显得你没有分析能力,因为一般分论点后面都需要有个说明性的支撑性的话。
地板
 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-27 09:42:03 | 只看该作者
关于你的内容,写的有些简单,不够深入,你只说了竞争和合作都重要,但你没有给出一个很好的结论,那就是怎么避免恶性竞争等。还有一点就是Similarly , merely cooperate with others without competition could not help leaders to the successful shore. I still remember when I as a,这种论证并不好,分论点后面直接接例子,显得你没有分析能力,因为一般分论点后面都需要有个说明性的支撑性的话。
-- by 会员 竹林中人 (2012/4/27 9:25:46)

写了2篇issue,自信心彻底被打垮,我的老天啊。。
感谢学长从透彻的分析,我会努力长进的
5#
发表于 2012-4-27 10:30:06 | 只看该作者
关于你的内容,写的有些简单,不够深入,你只说了竞争和合作都重要,但你没有给出一个很好的结论,那就是怎么避免恶性竞争等。还有一点就是Similarly , merely cooperate with others without competition could not help leaders to the successful shore. I still remember when I as a,这种论证并不好,分论点后面直接接例子,显得你没有分析能力,因为一般分论点后面都需要有个说明性的支撑性的话。
-- by 会员 竹林中人 (2012/4/27 9:25:46)


写了2篇issue,自信心彻底被打垮,我的老天啊。。
感谢学长从透彻的分析,我会努力长进的
-- by 会员 zhouyue0223 (2012/4/27 9:42:03)

哈哈,自信心会慢慢被重建的,相信你
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