TWE 137 第八篇，请批阅

137

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? High schools should allow students to study the courses that students want to study. Use specific reason s and examples to support your opinion.

The controversy over whether students should be allowed to study the courses that students want to study in high school simmers, (sentence fragment)and it divides educationists, teachers, students, and even politicians on both sides in the world.(make meaning unclear) As far as I am concerned, I prefer to the opinion that high school should not give the students entire option on choosing the courses they want to study. In the following analysis, I would like to present several reasons to support my position.

Above all, the aim of the education in high school requires students to study various courses.  Unlike the purpose of education in colleges or universities, which need students to focus on one kind of research, the purpose of the high school education is not to ‘create’ scientists, artists, or politicians in such term, but to teach and induce many kinds of knowledge to students (,)and to cultivate their awareness on ethics, world view and philosophy. When students are in the high school, most of them are too young to establish an appropriate style on life and viewpoint on world that will deeply affect their life in the future. Thus, various(a variety) of knowledge, from science and literature, to arts and sports, will improve(help) students to develop mature thoughts that will be very critical when they leave the school and enter the complex society.

the complicated structure can convince readers that you are a good writer. but some concept is new for me in english tern"style on life and viewpoint on world ",and make sure they are understandable.

Anther reason for me to support my position (wordy, and not continious) is that to allow students to study the courses that students want to when they are in high school will impede the ability of students to absorb knowledge in such field in the future. (the grammar is not problem, but the structure seems strange to me. I read a lot english magazine, but this kind of expression is really rare) If high school students are allowed to choose their favorite courses, the ability of students to absorb knowledge in such field in the future will be impeded. Undoubtedly, there is much relationship among different knowledge(the meaning is not clear and it is not fluent)knowledge in different fields is related .For example, the grammar is the base of literature.(the example cannot show they belong to different fields. I would choose literature and science) But a student who is interested in astronomy will be in trouble in reading paper or any other academic materials if his grammar is very poor. (this setting seems to jump out suddently, and "but" doesnot show the relation you intend to) Moreover, it is unthinkable(?) that a person who is good at geology that requires much fieldwork possesses a bad health.(what relates to health?) Perhaps, these people were all allowed to study what they want when they were in high school, but today, they must be regretful.

However, that high schools should not allow students to study the courses that students want to does not mean that they should not give students suggestion or help to improve their interests. It's well known that many scientists appear their ability in some areas of sciences when they are children. Therefore, the best way for high schools to do is to exploit and develop the abilities of such students by teaching them many kinds of knowledge and recommend them to the colleges that will give them chance to exhibit their abilities.

the sentences are complicated!!! some simple sentence can vary your writing and stress your point. the noun clause( as subject) seems very uncomfortable to me. my suggestion: don't use it any more.

In conclusion, in order to cultivate competent people for the society, high school should provide students various courses to study, and this strategy will be advantageous not only to students themselves, but also to the society.

this conclusion is not a good one. two reasons:  there nothing related to the theme statement ( provide various course does not mean whether or not students have a free choice; you raise an new issue: advantageous to society)