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[作文互改] issue3,求拍,谢咯~~

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楼主
发表于 2012-3-4 19:35:16 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
I partially agree with the claim that"Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed". Admittedly, we do need to consider the possibility of the success of the field we study, however, we need to know it is many researches in the fields which seem unlikely to succeed that promoting the progress of science.


Indeed, taking the pain and gain into consideration is needed when we choose our research field. For one reason, individuals' energy is limited and we need put our limited time and energy to those we can gain a lot from. To those areas where the probability of success is nearly zero, considering whether they are of value to research is highly necessary. For example, to the theorem " perpetual motion machine can not be made", some students still suspect it and waste most of their time researching the self-generating and ever-running machine, Obviously, these students do not understand the underneath of this claim and just research it blindly, naturally, their time and energy are wasted and they could never make it, so judging and choosing the research areas is of crucial importance. For another reason, usually our research grants are finite, and putting in constrained funds into those fields unlikely to succeed is unreality. It is totally possible that we get none of results and data when funds use up. Therefore, due to our limited energy and grants, we should maximize our payoff .

However, numerous science laws and findings are found and concluded in the process of researching the field unlikely to succeed. Still take example of perpetual motion machine. It is the failure of perpetual motion machine that make people understand that energy in nature is conserved and generalized the law of conservation of energy. If no one attempt it, perhaps now we still do not know the law of conservation of energy. Therefore, to an extent, researching the field unlikely to succeed develops  science.

In addition, to those areas none has explored, they are valueful to research though the extremely low success rate. A machine that could fly in the sky was unbelievable in the ancient time, but it was the hard-working and attempt of Wright Brothers on this unimagining machine that make dreams of flying come into reality. Also, the difficulty of developing cancer drugs is extraordinary, however, their considerable value deserves our striving. Therefore, those areas that unlikely to succeed but of great value still need us to take pains.

So educational institutions should provide background information of professional fields and leave the option to students. And it is highly suggested that we judge the value of research when we choose our field, if it is of a geat value, just do it. If not, give up.
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沙发
发表于 2012-3-4 21:21:09 | 只看该作者
1.it is many researches in the fields which seem unlikely to succeed that promoting the progress of science.???感觉读来读去有点问题,强调句型that后面应该是个从句。另外,你的succeed的主语是什么?貌似不妥
2.题目中的study理解为学习比较好,而不是研究,题目中的一个关键词是are unlikely to succeed,这个词判断的标准是什么或者是由谁做出判断的,再就是succeed又是指什么?是个人获得了巨大的财富还是怎么的?因为成功的标准也不一样的
3.因为第二点,所以这篇文章并不显得很充实,也不很有深度,特别是第三段和第四段
加油,继续努力!
板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2012-3-5 20:34:49 | 只看该作者

修改过后的~希望再给提提意见

I basically don't agree with the claim "educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed".


To educational institutions, perhaps success is just defined as a career success and verifiable attainments in areas( pay, work performance, position, etc) are its indication. Admittedly, job success is of crucial importance in this modern society full of competition. Often, the high position and good work performance keep accord with the high salary. The economic base determines the superstructure. Without a rich salary we might not afford to pay for our daily demands, such as health insurance, house loan, education courses and so on. And a responsible person has to achieve success to support his or her family. Therefore, in order to make students "responsible", educational institutions dissuade students from pursuing fields of study easy to make a success seems understandable.

However, can educational institutions really tell and judge which fields unlikely to succeed? Every field has numerous illustrious individuals, even in those areas which are often defined as "unpopular fields". Indeed, the applicability of some pure theoretical fields, such as mathematics, philosophy, is much less broader than those applied fields, thus graduates of these areas get much less possibility of success than ones of applied fields. However, "less" does not mean "unlikely".

Just understand the claim as "institutions should dissuade students from pursuing fields of study with low success rates" , however, these pure theoretical areas, playing a fundamental role in applied areas, still call for students pains to develop. Provided that mathematics became poor, It is really hard to imagine how the orbital function of a satellite can be calculated. Without a precise orbit a satellite cannot function well. Therefore, the efforts in these fields of study are highly required. Once educational institutions do it just as what the claim suggests, the aftermath would be extremely serious and even the development of all the fields would go inactive.

Therefore, it is highly suggested that educational institutions provide the job backdrop and leave the option of fields to students instead of dissuading them from pursuing fields of study with low success rates. The development of society and science requires all kinds of people with professional fields. Just as Cannikin Law, society is the cannikin and professionals are the plates. The volume of the cannikin always depends on the shortest plate.
第一段开头不会写,因为没有成功的定义,所以就不知道怎么概括全文。可是把定义的开头放在第一段,还是不知道怎么写,希望指点呀~~谢谢啦 还有 貌似文章才四百字~~

地板
 楼主| 发表于 2012-3-5 20:51:31 | 只看该作者
而且感觉还得写一段成功的真正的定义和内涵才能把想表达的意思阐述清楚。可是这样主体段就成四段了,时间也不够,所以也不知道如何取舍~
5#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-3-6 00:08:13 | 只看该作者
希望大家提出一点意见呀 十分的感谢~~
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