4号考试，第一篇作文求拍求改！

题目是：Agree and Disagree.

TV, Newspaper, magazines and other media pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people such as public figures and celebrities.

用了29分钟时间，其中审题用了快5分钟，因为实在不太理解这类题目。我一直在犹豫，如果我说了disagree的话，我到底disagree 是媒体太关注名人了，还是disagree这句话本身。如果是前者，我就应该写为什么不应该关注名人。如果是后者，我就应该写其实媒体并没有过度关注。犹豫了很久，还是选了前者。不知道是否跑题。还是我想复杂了。

写完只改了几个错别字，贴上来希望nn能帮忙从句子，段落和立意等层面给与修改。

Everyday, when people open television, what pops up is likely  the news such as Paris Hilton changes new boyfriend, Tiger Woods adapt a child in Africa and so forth. What makes the thing worse is that the same matters happen not only in television program, but also in newspapers, magazines and other mass media. The statistics from a U.S social research center demonstrated that more than 60% of contents on mass media in U.S. are related to the personal lives of famous political people, movie stars and other celebrities. I do think these mass media pay more than appropriate attention to big apples rather than care the lives of common people.

The first plane truth, I am presenting here, is that the most crucial function of mass media is to notify audiences what happens in the world comprehensively and timely. The news about personal lives of public figures and other famous people is indeed sort of news to some people. Nevertheless, mass audiences might be more interested in the real vital ones, such as the economic policy changes in Japan, which would impact on economy in other countries. But the limited media resources are occupied by public figures' scandal. Hence, on no account should we justify that the media put priority of reporting celebrities’ gossip over what truly matters to the world.

Behind the viewpoint I claimed above lies an equally important fact is that mass media should also take the responsibility of educating mass audiences, especially young people. Not only should the mass media have more meaningful and profound content, but also help people set right value. The luxury and brilliant lives of famous people and the related scandal is just a trivial portion of the real world. However, should mass media emphasis this part too much, young people will probably think that is the real life and will chase it as the goal. One example comes in mind is that one of my classmates in high school wanted to have the same clothes as his favorite pop stars, he stole money of other students. Finally a perspective good student became a victim of the fault of mass media.

Admittedly, the personal lives of some famous people have a multitude of positive impacts on audience. For instance, the story of young Tiger Woods will definitely inspire the minority people. It makes people believe that as long as you try your best and never give up, you will someday be someone. It might be better if mass media can give more attention to these kind of positive information and make significant influence to the mass audience.

In conclusion, Mass media, such as television, magzines, newspaper, even the new media internet do pay too much attention to the private lives of celebrated people. If they can care more about other important affairs and take social responsibility more accountable, mass audience will benefit more from them.

顶一组！望牛人指点。

还有5天，唯一有可能提高的就是作文了.....希望牛人可以指点一下下

这个题目很不好写.他是要求你写你同意不同意这个观点：媒体给予太多关注给名人了。如果同意，你就应该围绕着“太多”来写，你的一些论点却集中在了“应该不应该”上面。为了解决这个问题，加上：just as I mentioned, some news about celebrities will misguide people. Hence, the amount of news on their personal lives is meaningless and too much. 

谢谢德克。但是我不是很明白怎么加你这句，加在什么地方.....是说在最后一段结尾的时候再点一下题吗

另外，是不是所有agree and disagree的题目都是要去你去回答同意不同意这个说法，还是同意不用意这个说法里面的事情....天哪，我说不清楚了

其实，这个题目我也说不大清楚

考试应该不会出这样变态的题目吧

Everyday, when people open television, what pops up is likely the news such as Paris Hilton changes new boyfriend, Tiger Woods adapt a child in Africa and so forth. What makes the thing worse is that the same matters happen not only in television program, but also in newspapers, magazines and other mass media. The statistics from a U.S social research center demonstrated that more than 60% of contents on mass media in U.S. are related to the personal lives of famous political people, movie stars and other celebrities. I do think these mass media pay more than appropriate attention to big apples rather than care the lives of common people(我觉得lives conditions of common people and news around the world更好).

The first plane truth, I am presenting here, is that the most(most可以不要) crucial function of mass media is to notify audiences what happens in the world comprehensively(用objectively替换,我老师给我说过comprehensive最好不要乱用,至于它到底该如何用,我也不清楚) and timely. The news about personal lives of public figures and other famous people is indeed sort of news to some people. Nevertheless, mass audiences might be more interested in the real vital ones, such as the economic policy changes in Japan, which would impact on economy in other countries. But the limited media resources are occupied by public figures' scandal. Hence, on no account should we justify that the media put priority of reporting celebrities’ gossip over what truly matters to the world.

Behind the viewpoint I claimed above lies an equally important fact is that mass media should also take the responsibility of educating mass audiences, especially young people(Currently mass media has become an indispensable component of our everyday lives. Every moment, media releases latest information and influences most of us a great deal. And this influence, gradually and fairly unconsciously, turns out to lead the current vogue and mainstream’s, especially young generations’ tendency.). Not only should the mass media have more meaningful and profound content, but also help people set right value. The luxury(luxurious,注意用词的形式) and brilliant lives of famous people and the related scandal(最好说成rumors,因为scandal可能程度深了点,或者说rumors and scandals)
        is just a trivial portion of the real world. However, should mass media emphasis this part too much, young people will probably think that is the real life and will chase it as the goal. One example comes in mind is that one of my classmates in high school wanted to have the same clothes as his favorite pop stars, he stole money of other students. Finally a perspective good student became a victim of the fault(misleading) of mass media. (这个题目很不好写.他是要求你写你同意不同意这个观点：媒体给予太多关注给名人了。如果同意，你就应该围绕着“太多”来写，你的一些论点却集中在了“应该不应该”上面。为了解决这个问题，加上：just as I mentioned, some news about celebrities will misguide people. Hence, the amount of news on their personal lives is meaningless and too much. )

明白，那你帮我改改吧。又写了一篇。

选择自己run business还是打工。

When I graduated from University, there are several choices for me: One is to open a ".com" company with my friends majored in computer science. My competence in business field would make possible of our success. Another one is to work for a US based multinational company. After weighing in my mind, I chose the latter. After 5 years work in the real business environment, if I still have another opportunity to choose: run my own businesses or work for someone else, I will again choose the latter. Among countless reasons that can bolster my choice, I will present the most personal and crucial ones.

First, I position myself as the perspective business woman. In my dictionary, success is defined as the combination of two measures. One is that I want to have significant achievement in business world; the other one is I am also determined to leave a fair amount of time and energy to my family life. In other words, I am willing to balance my career and life. If I choose open a company myself, I will very likely sacrifice the time with my family, given I am very responsible people to everything I am devoted to.

Secondly, I am perfectly aware of my strengths and weaknesses.. I am an better being a great team player rather than a leader. I like to work as a team with others and to execute the decision of leaders. For instance, I had good track record of working with colleagues from various countries and motivated with each other to achieve the goal. Yet I am not good at making strategic decisions. When it comes to having your own business, the request for leadership overweights that for teamwork. Therefore, it is clear that my strengths of being a teamplayer will be a better match for working in the big organization than running my own company.

However, I had a dream when I was a little girl. I wanted to open my own bake shop. If someday I have enough money and I have already succeed in business environment, might be I will invest a bake shop to make my little dream true.

In conclusion, at this moment, at the start point of my career, I choose to work for a multinational company as a professional business woman and an accountable specialist rather than to be a boss of my own business.