(AI2)贴一个黄金80题里的AI,请指教 - AI 02

今天努力了50分钟，写了个这样的出来，请大家指点。问下：如果作文写成这样能得几分？我也好掌握一下我现在的水平。 多谢！

“It is unrealistic to expect individual nations to make, independently, the sacrifices necessary to conserve energy. International leadership and worldwide cooperation are essential if we expect to protect the world’s energy resources for future generations.”

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.

Energy problems are becoming very serious in many countries. They have threatened the economics of those countries, and stumbled industrialization globally. As a result, governments and worldwide corporations are usually working together to preserve energy. While, although I agree that international leadership and worldwide cooperation are essential if people expect to protect the world’s energy resources for future generations, I don't think that individual nations make efforts to conserve energy is unnecessary.

International leadership can organize different actions of different counties toward the same target, reducing waste time and effort and enhancing efficiency. It can also improve the chance of success for multination to preserve energy, especially when two or even more countries are involved in a common energy source, such as the oil resource in middle Asian. In addition, worldwide corporations are also essential to solve energy problems, for the influences of energy resources to them can be tremendous or even fatal. Therefore, these companies would try their best to persuade their governments to enforce laws to preserve energy. Or, they might devote themselves to invent some institutes to reduce the influence of energy to them. Either way could benefit the conservation of energy resources.

Individual nations, on the other hand, are also very important in such global strategy of conserving energy. First, individual nations need to implement many efforts for preserving energy. Second, when a resource problem, for example gas, emerges in one country, it would be better for the country to solve the problem itself because the problem would only affect its own best interests, not someone else.

For all of the above reasons, I believe that both international leadership and worldwide corporations and individual nations are very important on the battle of energy source. Lacking either one would lead our efforts to preserve energy inefficiently. Therefore, for the better being of ourselves or even future generations, international leadership and worldwide corporations and individual nations should work together to conserve the energy resource.

整体还不错，前后比中间好。感觉第3段还有待提高，尤其是the second reason.

最好有5段，3个论点。

骑墙也可以起的有重点的，比如如果你更认同worldwide leadership，可以多写一个论据出来，或者把第2段的论据分成两段写，写得更丰满一点，然后再写其实individual nations也是责无旁贷，一段就够了，起平衡观点和整体结构的作用就可以。

个人观点，你再看看sample. they might help.