大家能帮我改改作文吗? 谢谢了............改好请你吃饭

In my opinion, I think it is important to look at the argument on both sides. The first, excellent creations rely on enormous amount of professional knowledge. On the other hand, people need innovations on account that the process of innovating can help people to make a progression while people are trying their best to getting success. Accordingly, I maintained that both of the ability of creative and knowledge are necessary for us to obtain success.

No matter what your job is, both creation and knowledge play decide roles in achieve success in every department. As fashion designers, their conception of success that are design beautiful clothes, which are popularity among their customers; so the creative is crucial to them, but they also need specialized information to conduct them for designing, such as the knowledge of arrange colors, to cut out of garments. Overall, as long as to combine the creation with knowledge correctly, they can create the most wonderful and practical clothes.

I think the principle is also suitable for my study. For me, to get the high mark in my school’s exam is my present target. I need to study harder to acquire the knowledge from the teacher’s course. However, have a lot of knowledge is not enough, I need to put them into practice with purpose of to change them become my own things. So, I must have the ability of creative to encourage me to master that knowledge more flexibly and completely,

    Finally, I want to say that even though some people recognized that either creation or knowledge is far enough for us to make dream come true, and I don’t deny the situation has happened on some ones, most of time, creation and knowledge are indispensable for success.

谢谢了

我的作文也不好,还要求助呢

even I didn't read you essay completely, but I think you need to improve your language.  For example at the first paragraph, The first I think is better to say At the first, or firstly

secondly, I think your have added to many connecting words, but this does not make your essay quite understandable.  . The first, excellent creations rely on enormous amount of professional knowledge. On the other hand, people need innovations on account that the process of innovating can help people to make a progression while people are trying their best to getting success.

you see, there are too many connective word make you sentence too long. i would change it into: At the first, excellent creations rely on the enomous amount of professional knowledges that its acquired. Besides, people need to make innovation based on the wellness and improvement of others live in our society. Therefore, only through this way they can obtaining  their personal success.

what I really means here is that you need to seperate your long sentence into shorter one, therefore, you essay would be easier to understand. Don't use too many big words, i felt that you might used those word inaccurately or hardly for me to derive the meaning . The second sentence I cannot understand what you try to say.

All those things happens to me as well,  I wish you can say everything straight and simpler.

Finally, would you please give some comments on my essay in 11o'clock 12th thx

其实最好是长短句子结合，长的较复杂的句子能体现你的语言功力（当然是在写对了的基础上），短句则容易理解，但是我说的长句不是仅仅通过连接词把本来的几个句子连成一个组成的长句，而是通过加状语，加并列结构，加插入语，加同位语从句，加定从等成分来拉长的，另外，如果是记叙例子，最好不要只用短的简单句，如：

We got up very early that morning.But we hit a tracffic jam.So we were late for class at last.

而最好用长句子如：

Although getting up so early that morning, a serious tracffic jam delayed us, leading to our late for class.

你可以去看一下介词和动词的固定搭配，看我改的画了下划线的部分对照你原来的相应部分，还有一个你原来的作文字数少了点，最好每一段再develop一下，而且要注意的是body paragraph就是中间段落最好比开头长一点，免得看起来头重脚轻。

In my opinion, I think (没必要in my opinion后又来个I think，冗余) it is important to consider the argument on both sides. On one hand, excellent creativity（创造力是creativity，不是creation）
                relies on enormous amount of professional knowledge. On the other hand, people need innovations on account that the process of innovating can help people to make a progression as people are trying their best to getting success. Accordingly, I maintained that both of the ability of creative and knowledge are necessary for us to obtain success. In the following paragraphs, I will explore some reasons to support my view

Firstly, （段首最好加过度词）
                no matter what your job is, both creativity and knowledge play decisive roles in achieving success in every department. As for fashion designers, their conception of success is to design beautiful clothes, which are popular among their customers; so creativity is crucial to them, but they also need specialized information to conduct them for designing, such as knowledge of arranging colors and cutting out of garments. Overall, as long as to combine the creativity with knowledge correctly, they can create the most wonderful and practical clothes. 

Also, I believe（作文中表达自己的观点最好用一些正式的词，如believe） the principle is also suitable for my study. For me, to get a high mark in my school’s exam is my present target. I need to study harder to acquire the knowledge from the teacher’s course. However, owning（1，动词不能直接作主语，应该成ing或to分词；2，own比have更好） a lot of knowledge is not enough； I need to put them into practice with the purpose of changing them into my own things. So, I must have the ability of creation(the ability of creation=creativity,但有时换种说法比老说creativity更好) to encourage me to master that knowledge more flexibly and completely, 

    Finally, I want to say that even though some people have recognized（时态的混合使用比单一使用一种更好，用多了一般现在时可以尝试用现在完成时等） that either creation or knowledge is far enough for us to make dream come true（这句逻辑意思有问题，因为你要表达的是仅有创造力和仅有知识都是不够的，所以应为：neither creativity nor knowledge is far…）, and I do not(写作是最好不用缩略语，因为是书面的英语) deny the situation has happened on some ones, most of time, both
                creativity and knowledge are indispensable for success.

这是我写的结尾，字数和你的结尾差不多，但我觉得这样写可能好一点，你可以参考一下

To put all points in a nutshell, I reiterate to reinforce my claim that neither creativity nor knowledge is far enough for us to obtain our goal and achieve the miracle. It is the combination of creativity and knowledge that open the gate of success for us but not vice versa.

joelyeah 同学改的好专业啊！

个人感觉楼主的语言不够native, 有点中国英语……

首先要多读点文章，让自己的语言变得流利通顺，或者背一些句式或句子

GOOD LUCK！！

呵呵～～没啥，T友共勉呗～～

LS说得有道理，有些句子不是不对，就是看着不那么顺眼，其实也就是语言不地道得原因，LZ要是时间充足还是看看李笑来的185篇高分作文吧～～写作文要有产出，得先有输入啊～～～