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I don't see how she could have her "reputation" be adversely affected by asking questions regarding the differences between research schools and teaching schools and also the "criteria" for being placed at research schools. These questions pertain to applicants, currently enrolled PhDs, and PhDs on the job market as well and so are not unjustified or inappropriate.
Also, even if she ends up pursuing the same area of concentration (or even similar research interests) as you, there is no guarantee that you will meet her at a conference (or seomwhere else) sometime unless you are attending the same program as she. This is true even if "the scholastic community is small."
In one word, I would try to be more positive and helpful in response to questions or comments.
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