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[求助]AA008,自己写了一篇,不知道该怎么写,请nn指点

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楼主
发表于 2005-7-4 23:01:00 | 只看该作者

[求助]AA008,自己写了一篇,不知道该怎么写,请nn指点

马上要考了,还不知道aa该怎么写,自己写了一篇,改了很久,还是觉得有问题,请广大nn们指正




8. The following appeared in the editorial section of a corporate newsletter.


“The common notion that workers are generally apathetic about management issues is false, or at least outdated: a recently published survey indicates that 79 percent of the nearly 1,200 workers who responded to survey questionnaires expressed a high level of interest in the topics of corporate restructuring and redesign of benefits programs.”                                                                  



In the argument, the arguer recommends that the common notion of workers generally apathetic about management issues is false or outdated due to a recently survey. To support the content, the arguer cites a recently survey indicating that most of workers responding to questionnaires are interested in the topics of corporate restructuring and redesign of benefits programs. At first glance, the argument seems plausible but further observation reveals that it is unconvincing because it suffers several logic flaws.


The main problem of the conclusion is that the arguer doesn’t provide how many workers the survey covered. If the workers the survey covered are much more than the workers responding to the survey, the arguer can not reach the conclusion that the workers uninterested in management issue is false. Therefore, the conclusion is problematic. In addition, it is likely that the workers who are interested in the company’s management issues eager to respond to the survey questionnaires. Without more evidence, the arguer cannot apply the result of the survey to contend.


Another logic flaw of the content is that the arguer doesn’t provide which sort and class of workers received the questionnaires. The conclusion is dubious without the crucial evidence. For instance, if all the workers receiving the questionnaires are in management level, it is certain that most of them support the management issues. To get the content, the arguer should provide the evidence appealing that the workers who received the questionnaires are representative in the workforce.


The arguer claims that the workers who are interested in the topics of corporate restructuring and redesign of benefits programs eager to the management issues.  However, it is not convincing that the workers only showing interested in the topics of corporate restructuring and redesign of benefits programs attribute to interested in management issues. Accordingly, the argument makes a hasty generation. It is most possible that the workers interested in such the management issue as the topics of corporate restructuring and redesign of benefits programs directly related to their benefits while they apathetic about most of management issue not directly benefic to themselves. Therefore, the consideration is not sufficient.


In conclusion, the arguer’s content suffers some logic problems. To strengthen the content, the arguer should provide more evidence about the numbers of the surveyed workers. To further reach the conclusion, the arguer proves that the workers are representative to the labor force. Without additional evidence, the conclusion is incorrect.



[此贴子已经被作者于2005-7-5 15:03:51编辑过]
沙发
发表于 2005-7-4 23:27:00 | 只看该作者

lz写的很好啊...


首先长度...超过800字了吧!!!如果能在30分钟内写出来这么多字数,那是太牛了!!如果gg没有掐时间写作...建议最好在规定时间内要写出一个完整的结构,有利于实战发挥,而不要无限制的拖延写作时间...最好每次写都掐下时间。


其次几乎没有语法问题,只有个小小的疑问:logic是名词,修饰problem或者flaw时不如adj. logical好一些吧~~


其他堪称典范了!~呵呵,gg加油!~没问题的!~


p.s.可否把标题改一下AA8改成AA008,有利于后人查找...谢谢!~

板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2005-7-5 15:07:00 | 只看该作者
好的,我已经改了,多谢版主提点。万分感谢,这篇写了差不多1个小时了。我只是想问一下我这样做一个aa的模板是不是可以?
地板
发表于 2005-7-5 20:20:00 | 只看该作者

可以啊~~赫赫,每段首句都可以做模版句型DI...


加油!~拿个作文牛分~~

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