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AI112: Issue是偶的弱项!但又没时间,偏偏考试他排最前面,无语

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楼主
发表于 2005-5-20 06:30:00 | 只看该作者

AI112: Issue是偶的弱项!但又没时间,偏偏考试他排最前面,无语

Becaue of the recent advancemetns in business and technology, the overall quality of life in most societies has never been better than at the present tiem.
Lately there is a disputation over whether recent advancements in business and technology promote the overall quality of life in most societies. Some people contends that the advancements are a mixed blessing, while other people claim that the advancements indeed promote the overall quality of life in most societies. In fact, the issue of whether recent advancements in business and technology promote the overall quality of life in most societies is a perplexing and debatable one. Whether one opinion has advantages over the other rests on the concrete circumstance. The complex nature of the issue necessitates a case-to-case anatomy. In the following analysis, I would like to bring forward evidence favoring the former one and rebutting the latter one.

In the first place, the salient reason that can be displayed to substantiate my viewpoint is that recent advancements in business and technology indeed make our life better and better in a lot of aspects. A typical example can be found in the case that the world we live in is becoming smaller and more convenient because of IT. Just think about it. When in 1970s, if you are in a foreign country studying and you want to send a letter home, then maybe it would take you a couple of weeks to get a letter from home. But now, you can send e-mail wherever you are and whenever it is. Probably because of this, people work with higher efficiency than they were before.

In the second place, there is another reason for me to choose the former statement. The reason is not far to seek: more and more people live a better life due to the improvement of business. To illustrate it, consider the example of Zhouzhuang Village in Zhejiang Province, China. Zhouzhang is a little village that is famous for its old-fasioned architectures. Before 1990, this village stayed quite and residents there stayed poor. But after that year, it changed gradually: more and more travelers came to this village and people in this village became richer. Why? Because the leader of Zhouzhuang reformed the economic policy in order to attract investment from outside. It works. Investments flowed in and business boomed.

Admittedly, it is de facto truth that a lot of people live a better life than ever before. However, advancements in business and technology is a mixed blessing to some extent. Although it become more and more convenient for us to stay in touch with each other, we become more and more isolated from outside because we just stay home or at workplace; although Zhouzhuang becomes more and more attractive in some aspects, the environment become worse and worse…. When the two sides of advancements in business and technology are thoroughly contemplated, the most persuasive conclusion is unmistakably that the advancements are a mixed blessing.

To sum up, due to the above mentioned reasons which always intertwine to form an organic whole and thus become more convincing, we may safely arrive at the conclusion that the advancements are a mixed blessing. Although it may be true that in some conditions the advancements are almost perfect, it is too specific and too deficient to strengthen the argument that advancements in business and technology promote the overall quality of life in most societies.

写issue心好虚啊……;

从这篇以后改用AWA simu软件,根据时间再适当瘦身,做最后调整;

说实话,AI的题库偶基本没看;AA倒是看了好几十个啦,而且每个都挑了错。

看来issue也得在最后十天多看看题库,找点思路啦!


沙发
发表于 2005-5-20 08:53:00 | 只看该作者

Your writting skill is good, I bet. If I were ETS , your AWA score will be 5 or even higher than that.

Anyway, I t still think you can make some improvements.

Firstly, after reading the issue, I feel a little bit wordy, especially you reiterate your argument "a mixed blessing" for so many times without any change in the expression.

Secondly, I think you can strength the negtive aspect s of the advance in business and technology.  Compared with the positive parts, the latter seems less convincing.

Thirdly, You make a smill mistake, Zhouzhuang is not a village of zhejiang province, It located in Jiangzu, hehe!

板凳
发表于 2005-5-20 08:53:00 | 只看该作者


这篇文章的问题:


1连接词还是不对呀,ethylGG!你这个连接词是用来GENERALLY同意作者观点时候用的。你现在是取了一个中立的观点介于变好和变坏之间的。事实上我通篇文章看下来也觉得你是基本同意作者观点的。可是你偏偏在第一段把作者给否了。


建议:第一段改成有些人认为变好了有些人认为变坏了。我基本同意作者。首先是因为。。。其次是因为。。。诚然。。。但总的还是变好了。


2这个问题其实比较好举例子的。可是GG的例子实在是。。。第一个还勉强可以但是你不要从电子邮件的角度说呀。和上篇issue感觉是一样的毛病。你把第一个例子最后两句话翻译一下。逻辑上是不对的呀!因为人们可以随时随地发邮件了效率就提高了吗?应该是说高新技术如电脑的使用使得人们的效率提高了。


第二个和上次的那个第二个例子简直“如出一辙”。还是不能证明你的观点啊。我们只看到了英明的领导开放搞活没有看到周庄粘了business,技术进步的什么光!我明白你的意思,你自己也明白可是美国人很直白的,你不说出来他不明白!


我的措辞可能有点尖利,似乎问题也很多。但是其实GG的问题是比较好解决的。也给你看过几篇文了。你的语法,结构,修辞都已经可以应付考试了,只要每天把模版练一下就可以了。你现在同意和基本同意作者的写的已经不错了。再写一下反对的和折中的。如果你找不到就发信给我我指定两个给你。只练模版就可以了。现在不管是AA还是AI,GG的问题都集中在内容和逻辑上面。你觉得写地心虚,那就不要写。先在脑子里面形成提纲直到可以说服自己了在下笔。观点先用中文在脑子里面过一下看看能不能说服自己。可以说服了,然后再成文。剩下的时间每天写一篇AA或者AI 就可以了不要再多了。把时间用来看题目和提纲。



[此贴子已经被作者于2005-5-20 8:59:27编辑过]
地板
发表于 2005-5-20 08:56:00 | 只看该作者
刚看到timzhouGG的点评。所以ethylGG也不用紧张总的来说已经不错了。只不过我由于。。。呵呵已经不敢让你遭到表扬了。
5#
 楼主| 发表于 2005-5-20 23:53:00 | 只看该作者

幸好偶有贴出来了,怎么每次都会有这么多新的问题呢?

看来我总是能够做出明智的抉择,今天凌晨昏昏沉沉写完的时候就感觉哪里有点不舒服,原来我取的是折中态度,以前没写过滴;觉得应该拿上来让大家再拍一拍砖,果然拍出这么多成果;嘻嘻,暗喜呀!

不过今天不能细看了,抽时间细细斟酌;从明天开始,进入10天倒计时,决定全身心投入冲刺,以前是放不下专业课,白天复习GMAT,晚上熬夜看书写作业,上午休息。

感谢大家!!尤其是JudyMM,嗯

6#
发表于 2005-5-21 07:30:00 | 只看该作者

原来是大三的GG。我也是怕到时候专业课搞不定才决定提前杀鸡。不过GG为什么要选快期末考试这个月考啊?想挑战自己生理极限啊?我就比较“尖”,8T9G都在假期可以GMAT,GPA两不误,狂欣赏自己的决策ing(有点自恋)

你可别放不下了。我这个学期该翘的不该翘的全翘了。基本上处于自习搞定的状态,全职杀鸡。

7#
发表于 2005-7-18 23:23:00 | 只看该作者

111. “The most effective business leaders are those who maintain the highest ethical standards.”


  好像应该是这题哦!

8#
发表于 2005-7-19 23:42:00 | 只看该作者

天哪??到底时谁高错了??


AI111 到底时那个?????

9#
发表于 2005-7-20 01:14:00 | 只看该作者
没关系拉,大家题号不一样的。只要确定自己没漏题就好拉
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