topic002请大家指点一下，给点评价，不用留面子

五月份的考试马上就要到了，作文就快把我的信心击垮了，希望大家多多赐教，不用给面子，尽情的批好了,先在这里谢谢大家了

2.are parents the best teachers？

The issue of whether parents are the best teachers is a extremely meaningful yet contentious one since different peoople hold deifferent views on it not only because of their respective background but also due to their alien understandings.In my point of view, I believe that the best teachers are the ones who you are brought up by. In the following analysis,I would like to reason and provide some of the evidence.

The main reason for my propensity for supportiing my opinion is that the more you live with one,the more you learn from him or her than anyone else.In most cases,we have been looked after and brought up by our parents ever since we saw this colorful world in the first time .Consequently, we spend most of the time which is the period of our life of forming dispositions and habits with our parents.A good example may be found in the case of myself,my parents are the first teachers in my lives,and during their "teaching periods", my personality and some of the habits was shaped and changed little in the following serveral years, which make the elements of me.Therefore,parents give us our body and imbue us with spirit,I believe it makes our parents qualified to be the best teachers.

The above is only part of the important aspects, and another one with equal significance with respect to choosing between the two lies in the  development of the proposition that as we grown up,almost no one but our parents could give us guides so unselfness.And they spare no effort to help us out when we are faced with troubles no matter when and where. In the school or workplace, people are offen busy with various  of things and will not spend a whole day to help you fix up a problem, not to mention if you are in the environment with fierce competitions.

In conclusion, although the title statement still arouses disagreement among different people and there seems no easy solution to this complicated issue, based on the reasons presented above, I insist my view that parents play a role as the best teachers in our lives .  

五月份的考试马上就要到了，作文就快把我的信心击垮了，希望大家多多赐教，不用给面子，尽情的批好了,先在这里谢谢大家了

2.are parents the best teachers？

The issue of whether parents are the best teachers is a extremely meaningful yet contentious one since different peoople hold deifferent views on it not only because of their respective background but also due to their alien understandings.In my point of view, I believe that the best teachers are the ones who you are brought up by. In the following analysis,I would like to reason and provide some of the evidence.

The main reason for my propensity for supportiing my opinion is that the more you live with one,the more you learn from him or her than anyone else.In most cases,we have been looked after and brought up by our parents ever since we saw this colorful world in the first time .Consequently, we spend most of the time which is the period of our life of forming dispositions and habits with our parents.A good example may be found in the case of myself,my parents are the first teachers in my lives,and during their "teaching periods", my personality and some of the habits was shaped and changed little in the following serveral years, which make the elements of me.Therefore,parents give us our body and imbue us with spirit,I believe it makes our parents qualified to be the best teachers.

The above is only part of the important aspects, and another one with equal significance with respect to choosing between the two lies in the  development of the proposition that as we grown up,almost no one but our parents could give us guides so unselfness.And they spare no effort to help us out when we are faced with troubles no matter when and where. In the school or workplace, people are offen busy with various  of things and will not spend a whole day to help you fix up a problem, not to mention if you are in the environment with fierce competitions.

In conclusion, although the title statement still arouses disagreement among different people and there seems no easy solution to this complicated issue, based on the reasons presented above, I insist my view that parents play a role as the best teachers in our lives .  

首先谢谢 dengsida

我还没写让步段，很不好，我再练一练吧

自己先改改，然后再贴上来。自己要反复改，这样要比别人改提高得更快。

俺更喜欢简洁一点的开头。但这只是个人喜好。能不能拿高分并不是开头段能单独决定的，内容才是最重要的。

基本框架没有问题，拼写错误俺还没找到（这是俺的弱项，shy），好话不多说了，还是讨论问题比较实在：）

1开头句子太长了，看起来有点绕，不妨用逗号分开，或者分成两个句子，长短结合看起来舒服一点。

2第二段感觉理由陈述不够充分，比如learn more from parents并不一定说明parents is the best teacher. 比如，如果再说明parents faimilar with their children more than any one else because children spend most of their time with father and mother.Thus, parents can choose a more suitable way to teach the kids regrading their unique charactors .就更好了。

3、第三段The above is only part of the important aspects似乎没有什么必要，还不如直接用secondly, another reason for me to support my view is that ...来的更明确。（虽然都是废话，呵呵，应急凑字数的时候，这是很有效的一招，不过，如果能充分表达的话，这些废话完全可以不要，你的文章当然是陈述你的观点的。）

从我个人考虑，我觉着你的思路没有打开，所谓文章，需要言之有物才好写，我自己的体会是，即使有了好的模板，如果没有思路的话，还是很费劲的。所以不妨写写提纲，同时修改模板，可能会提高快一点。

以上纯是个人观点，仅供参考。俺也在努力中~

非常感谢 mildsevens ，我会多努力的，呵呵