求批改~~~~攒RP

“To succeed financially, Zapped needs greater name recognition. It should therefore diversify its commercial enterprises. The rock group Zonked plays the same type of music that Zapped plays, but it is much better known than Zapped because in addition to its concert tours and four albums, Zonked has a series of posters, a line of clothing and accessories, and a contract with a major advertising agency to endorse a number of different products.”

In this argument, the author concludes that Zapped should diversify its commercial enterprises in order to gain greater name recognition and succeed financially. To illustrated this, the author provides the comparison between Zonked and Zapped. The rock grou[ Zonked is beeter know than Zapped although both of them play the same sort of music. The author assumes that the situation would be contributed to the fact that Zapped has series of posters, a line of clothing and accessories and a contract with a major advertising agency to endorse a number of different products.At the first glance, the argument appears to be somewhat convincing, but close scrutiny reveals that the line of reasoning employed is invalid and hence the conclusion is misleading due to several critical flaws.

In the first place, the author assumes that receiving enough recognition would lead to success indeed. In fact, the author fails to demonstate that. There are many ways to be succeed financially for a rock group, such as advertising for many famous companies and performing with extraordinary superstars. So pity that the author did not mention those ways to be success. Recognition could be one of the important factor of being successful in finance, but if the rock group get the recognition and no one likes them, the success can not be reached. So only mentioning the recognition is not sufficient for me to convince the conclusion.

In the second place, the author compares Zonked with Zapped only because they play the same sort of music. However, this evidence can not be enough for me to contrast them. They play the same kind of music does not mean they are the same in other aspects. Different groups can not be compared in this way because they get the different features from the views of the audiences. So the author can not conclude the argument above.

In the third place, even though Zonked can be compared with Zapped, the author can not assume the difference would be the reason that Zonked is much better than Zapped. Thousands of differences may exist between two rock groups, and the author can not give us the whole picture just by several lines. So, the author should establish the relationship between the differences and the result of known better than Zapped.

To sum up, the author fails to provide adequate justification for this argument. The comparsion is not sufficient and incomplete. If the author could provide addtional information regarding the differences between Zonked and Zapped would be much convincing. Also, the author should provide detailed information to demonstate that a series of posters, a line of clothing and accessories, and a contract with a major advertising agency is a part of commercial factors, which can be got by commercaial enterprises.