TWE 020-----第一次发贴,第二次写TOEFL作文,恳请大家修改,我准备好了!!!

020 It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.

Nowadays, the predominant residents of one country are from big cities,(.一个句子完了) people prefer to live in big cities instead of countryside because of great a large amount of job opportunities of jobs, and better living conditions; therefore,(没有因果） they let their children grow up in big cities.  In my point of view, let children grow up in the big city （必须是名词性词组）results in great advantages.

Big cities often impress us withby well（形容词） development which reflects mainly in living condition(s). children are extremely delicate, they need extra protection and care from adults,(adults 小城市也有吧？） based on that, big cities provide advanced medicinal aidservices, （.）when an infant is sick at night, it is easier to find a 24 hours hospital in urban cities than in countryside, and nurses and doctors are better-educated and trained  compared to those in rural areas(语法没有错，可读起来比较糟糕）; it also provides tremendous opportunities to receive all kinds of educations, not only in fine art such as painting and drawing, but also in sports, particularly tennis and golf which are newly accepted from other countries.  By receiving variety of education, children are trained to be skilled than those from countryside, which will be an latent advantage for them to participant in work in future.（这一段建议分两段，一段讲医疗，一段教育）

However, living in countryside has its positive effects.  As the increasing pollution, particularly happened in big cities, the air condition is not as fresh and nice as it used to be.  In the contrary, countryside, which has not well-developed, remains numerous trees and other green plants which help circulate air and make sure the air is clean, therefore, children who living in countryside are usually have less disease such as headache which usually caused by polluted air（语法没有错，句子节奏不好）.  In addition, the lifestyle in countryside is simple and pure compared to big cities which are full of complex competitions and various entertaining materials, as a result, children living in countryside will enjoy the original lives.（再写这段，就会觉得小城市好了）

Based on the advantages and disadvantages I have talked above, as far as children’s present lives and future work are concerned, I disgree it is better for children to grow up in small towns instead of big cities.