[求助]第一次写作文，求评分。谢谢。

救命呀！12月底考TOEFL, 这是第一次写作文，实在没底。应该是超烂。那个好心人帮忙平个分呀。谢谢啦!

121. Some people trust their first impressions about a person’s character because they believe these judgments are generally correct. Other people do not judge a person’s character quickly because they believe first impressions are often wrong. Compare these two attitudes. Which attitude do you agree with?

Today, there are so many debates about the issue of whether people should trust their first impressions about a person’s character. Some people hold the option that using first impressions to judge a person’s character works well. Others, however, think that using first impressions to judge a person’s character doesn’t work. Personally, I would prefer that people shouldn’t trust their first impressions about a person’s character.

There are numerous reasons why people shouldn’t use their first impressions to judge a person’s character, and I would in here explain a few of the most important ones. The main reason is that some people will lose their chances to show their talent just because they don’t have good appearances. Maybe they have more wit than other good looking people, but the door which lets them be shown to the world is closed by those ones who use first impression to judge people’s characters.

Another reason why I advocate the attitude of people shouldn’t trust their first impressions about a person’s character is that there will be many unfair things happen under this condition. It can be given a concrete example that most people would like to trust those good looking people’s words. When two people have an argument, more than a half people always want to help the good looking person who may be the wrong one in their argument.

One more strong reason for my opinion is that people who don’t have good appearances will lose their confidences. If the rejection keeps coming only because they can’t give good first impressions to others, their confidences are lost as soon as possible. Their future will be changed by how they looks like.

Of course sometimes people use their first impressions to judge a person’s character does work out. But, a person’s intelligence is still more important than a person’s appearance.

In conclusion, it must be explained that these three reasons sometimes intertwine to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive than any one of them. Then any thinking person must agree that people shouldn’t trust their first impressions about a person’s character.

Today, there are so many debates about the issue of whether people should trust their first impressions about a person’s character. Some people hold the option that using first impressions to judge a person’s character works well. Others, however, think that using first impressions to judge a person’s character doesn’t work. Personally, I would prefer that people shouldn’t trust their first impressions about a person’s character.

开头不够突出，就是说不怎么吸引人，如果能用it is句型来开头要好点：）；最重要的就是字数少了点，如果能够再长一点就可以了，比如100～120字左右。

There are numerous reasons （这里好像有点问题吧如果加上that can account for是不是更好？）why people shouldn’t use their first impressions to judge a person’s character, and I would in here explain a few of the most important ones. The main reason is that some people will lose their chances to show their talent just because they don’t have good appearances. Maybe they have more wit than other good looking people, but the door which lets them be shown to the world is closed by those ones who use first impression to judge people’s characters.最后一句是中国英语吧：），尽量来点地道的英语。

Another reason （和上面那段是不是有点重复啊：））why I advocate the attitude of people shouldn’t trust their first impressions about a person’s character is that there will be many unfair things happen under this condition. It can be given a concrete example that most people would like to trust those good looking people’s words. When two people have an argument, more than a half people always want to help the good looking person who may be the wrong one in their argument.

One more strong reason for my opinion is that people who don’t have good appearances will lose their confidences. If the rejection keeps coming only because they can’t give good first impressions to others, their confidences are lost as soon as possible. Their future will be changed by how they looks like.

Of course sometimes people use their first impressions to judge a person’s character does work out. But, a person’s intelligence is still more important than a person’s appearance.

In conclusion, it must be explained that these three reasons sometimes intertwine to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive than any one of them. Then any thinking person must agree that people shouldn’t trust their first impressions about a person’s character.和第一段一样，也应该长一点，酱紫字数上就有保障了。

总评：每段的字数太少，段数倒是足够了，酱紫会给自己添加为了字数而绞尽脑汁找理由的麻烦。建议总结自己的模板，背诵新概念3的前5课。当然，得4分是没有问题的。安达加油哦

Comments:

1. way too many short paragraphs. emerge them.

2. do not start a sentence with "of course"

3. watch out your wording. some of the sentences are awkwardly written.