[求助]第一次写 twe 129 恳请帮忙改改

129  - A university plans to develop a new research center in your country. Some people want a center for business research. Other people want a center for research in agriculture (farming). Which of these two kinds of research centers do you recommend for your country? Use specific reasons in your recommendation. ns to develop a new research center in your country.

It is very difficult to make a decision whether we need an agriculture centre or a business center. Based on the natural and society situations, different people hold different opinions. If I were faced this question I would vote to build an agriculture centre. As the reasons are countless, I will present some crucial arguments to support my viewpoint.

To begin with, the most important reason is my country, China, is an agriculture country. The agriculture is a foundation in our society, about 9 millions(这是严重的错误) farmers work on it and depend on agriculture to support their life, however most of them are not wealthy, they are struggling with their life, because they rarely use the machine and the new technique,（晕，建议先说很多人not wealthy，然后9 million靠农业，但是我觉得这么说惨了点） for example, they use the traditional ways to cultivate the corps and using（并列结构） the cow to plowing the land, as a result the outcome is always not satisfactory（这个词用得有问题，不好）. Base on the circumstance we need an agriculture centre to help farmers to improve the ways to work, and introduce the new techniques. Then everyone can get benefit from it.

Another reason that no one can deny is we need more food in the future. Nowadays, we can easily see there is a dramatically rising in the population, it is predicate in the future, the production of food will not enough to feed the whole population. In this situation we need an agriculture centre to help us to find the new way and new technique to increase the food productivity. （good reason!）

The next reason is there are many experts who are working in the agriculture do not have a proper place to do the research in my country（这个理由不好）. For example a lot of the agriculture centres with a poor condition, even though they do not have enough equipment (完全不明白这个地方) .With a new agriculture centre these experts can easily apply new experiments.

On the other hand（在前面没有on the one hand的情况下这样用不好，承让的语气用Addmitedly或者However或者其他）, the business centre also has its own advantage in many ways, for example it can make the country more powerful. But compared with the agriculture centre, the latter one（这个地方，说清楚是哪个，而且我看MM自己也搞错了：）） is more fundamental for our country than the business centre.

To sum up, from what we have been discussed above we can safely reach the conclusion, agriculture centre play a vital role in everybody’s life, it is more important than the business centre（MM，这两句话一样的意思！）.^(therefor) I strongly recommend building an agriculture centre.

楼上两位，难道是同一个人？

汗~~

加油~~~