duniaguodupa的作文贴，基础差，求指导~^^

duniaguodupa · 发表于 2012-9-4 12:45:36

小弟今年大四，923要再战T~writing部分大概20分的水平。真心求各位哥哥姐姐，弟弟妹妹，大神，大牛拍砖指导啊~

我会开始努力的

duniaguodupa · 发表于 2012-9-4 13:44:31

9月4日
agree/disagree：an efficient leader will always try to make everyone feel that he's in part of a
decision making

Currently, leader is becoming more and more important in every respect of our society. Their ablilities of management, especially the ability of decision making, determine whether they are efficient leaders. Some people argue that an efficient leader should make the decision alone, so that the decision making will be more efficient. However, in my opinion, it is much more efficient for a leader to make everyone in the group participate in part of a decision making. The illustration is as follow.

Admittedly, leader making decision without communicating with others seems more efficient, because it appears be time saving at first glance. Apparently, more people always means more different opinions, which will lengthen the time of discussion.

However, further reflection prove that the decision made by leader alone will be much harder to operate, due to most people in the group have no ideas about this decision and do not know how to operate it exactly. Accordingly, an efficient leader should consider the whole and attempt to make everyone in his group feel that he is a part of the decision making. Take my own experience as example, when I was a leader of my class, I once made the decision--the place of spring trip--alone. As a result, most classmates will not take parts in this trip, so I need to plan the trip again. Apparently, this plan wasted many of my time, and I remenber this fault till now.

Moreover, making the underlyings participate in the decision making can enhance their passion to complish the task much better and more efficient. The collegues will feel that they are so important to the company that they have to work much more assiduous than before. And then this company will be much more competitive because of the smart leading ability of the efficient leader.

To conclude, an efficient leader should persuade his co-workers to take active parts in the decision making. For one thing, making the decision together can make the decision much easier to operate. For another thing, the co-workers will work much more assiduous if they feel they play an essential role in his company, helping the company to be competitive.

duniaguodupa · 发表于 2012-9-4 13:45:27

完全不知该怎么写....求拍砖，求指导，非常感谢了~

fuzhengrui · 发表于 2012-9-4 14:23:43

duniaguodupa · 发表于 2012-9-4 15:58:48

非常感谢，好人一生平安^^
我会好好总结，继续努力~

fuzhengrui · 发表于 2012-9-4 16:00:31

shendang · 发表于 2012-9-5 17:24:38

agree/disagree：an efficient leader willalways try to make everyone feel that he's in part of a
decision making

绿色-good,红色-有问题，蓝色-小结
Currently, leader is becomingmore and more important in every respect of our society. Their ablilities of management, especially the ability ofdecision making, determine whether they are efficient leaders. Some people argue that an efficient leader should makethe decision alone, so that the decision making will be more efficient.However, in my opinion, it is much more efficient for a leader to make everyonein the group participate in part of a decision making. The illustration is as follow.

Admittedly, leader making decision withoutcommunicating with others seems more efficient, because it appears be timesaving at first glance. （这里是转折，应该加上转折承接句或词吧）Apparently, morepeople always means more different opinions, which will lengthen the time ofdiscussion.
However（前面已经说了征求他人意见会浪费时间，我觉得这个however，换到前面会更好
）, further reflection provethat the decision made by leader alone will be much harder to operate, due to most peoplein the group have no ideas about this decision and do not know how to operateit exactly. Accordingly, an efficient leader should consider the whole and attemptto make everyone in his group feel that he is a part of the decision making. Take my own experience as example, when I was a leader of my class, I once made the decision--theplace of spring trip--alone. As a result, most classmates will not take partsin this trip, so I need to plan the trip again. Apparently, this plan wastedmany of my time, and I remenber this fault till now.

Moreover, making the underlyings participate inthe decision making can enhance theirpassion to complish the task much better andmore efficient. The collegues will feel that they are so important to thecompany that they have to work much more assiduous than before. And then thiscompany will be much more competitive because of the smart leading ability ofthe efficient leader. （可以用点从句什么的，减少这么多短句）

To conclude, an efficient leader should persuadehis co-workers to take active parts in the decision making. For one thing,making the decision together can make the decision much easier to operate. Foranother thing, the co-workers will work much more assiduous if they feel theyplay an essential role in his company, helping the company to be competitive.
（结尾在重述一下观点，挺好的，但是我觉得重述时候要注意不能跟前面的表达相同，要不就起反效果了）
我的作文跑题了，见谅啊~~

shendang · 发表于 2012-9-5 17:25:39

我922战哦，我也大四了。。。。

duniaguodupa · 发表于 2012-9-5 19:38:16

谢谢你的指导啊~我每次写作文的时候脑袋很容易一片空白啊~~
你也加油！祝你922成功！

duniaguodupa · 发表于 2012-9-5 22:12:08

9月4日（修改）
agree/disagree：an efficient leader will always try to make everyone feel that he's in part of a
decision making

（修改）
Currently, leadership is becoming more and more important in every respect of our society. Their ablities of management, especially the ability of decision making, determine whether they are efficient leaders. Some people argue that an efficient leader should make the decision alone, so that the decision making will be more efficient. However, from my point of view, it is much more efficient for a leader to make everyone in the group participate in part of a decision making. The illustration is as follow.

Admittedly, leader making decision without communicating with others seems to be more efficient. Making decision all by the leader enable him to draw a conclusion fleetly, because more people always means more different opinions, which will lengthen the time of discussion.

However, further reflection proves that the decision made by leader alone will be much harder to operate. Since most people in the group have no ideas about this decision and do not know how to operate it exactly, the time to implement this decision will be longer. Accordingly, an efficient leader should consider the entire project and attempt to make everyone in his group feel that he is a part of the decision making. Take my own experience as example, when I was a leader of my class, I once made the decision that travel Peking as our trip all by myself. As a result, most classmates did not join our trip, so I needed to plan the trip again. Apparently, this plan wasted much of my time, and I remember this fault till now.

Moreover, making the staff participate in the decision making can enhance their passion to accomplish the task much better and more efficient. By encouraging colleagues to participate in decision making, they will feel that they are so important to the company that they have to work much more assiduous than before. And then this company will be much more competitive because of the smart leading ability of the efficient leader.

To conclude, an efficient leader should persuade his co-workers to take parts in the decision making. For one thing, reaching the decision together enable the decision much easier to carry out. For another thing, the co-workers will work much more devotedly if they feel they play an essential role in their company, helping the company to be competitive.

duniaguodupa的作文贴，基础差，求指导~^^

简单改了一下，见附件

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duniaguodupa的作文贴，基础差，求指导~^^

简单改了一下，见附件

本帖子中包含更多资源

加油 一起努力

所属分类: TOEFL / IELTS

正在浏览此版块的会员 ()

加油一起努力