【写作小分队】悠友的作文，求拍砖！求指正！

悠友小傻瓜 · 发表于 2012-3-28 19:42:21

欢迎大家监督每日一篇！！

第一次练笔，越多人指正越好~~！

If I have the ability to change one important thing about my hometown, I would like to improve the quality of environment in my hometown. I will exam the specific reasons as follows:
To begin with, it is well-known that the living environment is closely associated with human’s health. The poor quality of an environment may harm the residents to such a degree that can lead to some serious diseases. You might have heard of similar examples. For instance, the occurrence rate of cancers is much higher in pollution-stricken areas than in communities with a good environment. Further research proves this conclusion. In my mind, health is paramount to anything else. So I hope the enhancement of environment quality of my hometown can result in the longer lifespan of the residents.
Besides, a good environment as well benefits the local economy in the long run. You can imagine what will happen if our hometown turns into a rubbish dump. No one would like to invest here and no people would be willing to live here any longer. The economy of our hometown would be demolished as well. On the contrary, a neat and comfortable environment will certainly help attract a large amount of investment and in turn accelerate the development of local economy. For example, a good environment plays an important role in the tourism industry. While no one is ready to pay for a trip to a polluted place, almost all travelers are fascinated with fresh air and green sight. So a good environment may stimulate the rapid development of tourism industry. Moreover, all investors prefer a location with a good environment rather than a location with a bad one.
Some people may argue that I am putting the cart before the horse. They believe the immediate development of economy should be our first priority and argue that high-technology will definitely solve the environmental problem some day in the future. However, history has witnessed thousands of counterexamples. Neither economy was developed nor environment was left intact. We should take action to preserve our environment before it is too late.
In a sum, I wish a good environment of my hometown for both the residents’ health and the local economy.

Crystaljoy · 发表于 2012-3-28 19:46:56

YOYO哇，那个按照大本营的作业写才会有对改的伙伴呢~~~因为大家写一个题目，改起来方便~~~

去大本营看看就知道啦~~~

悠友小傻瓜 · 发表于 2012-3-30 15:41:16

这样啊！！刚来不懂规矩~~~我会去看看哦~~

【写作小分队】悠友的作文，求拍砖！求指正！

所属分类: TOEFL / IELTS

正在浏览此版块的会员 ()