[求助]偶在挤牙膏,TWE001/002

What is the main reason for people to attend college or university: to get new experience that can help people live more comfortable or to learn more knowledge that can help people win people a wonderful future? In my view, I prefer the latter goal, for two reasons.

In the first place, I believe that university and college are the best place to learn knowledge. In my experience, the efficiency of learning is such that without appropriate study conditions such as study environment, adequate study materials, people would struggle to increase knowledge or attain relative few improvement in study. Clearly, the university and college are almost the only place that can provide all study conditions, therefore increasing the efficiency of study greatly.

In the second place, the reason why I believe that people attend university and college mainly take account for increasing knowledge is that knowledge is the basis of any great achievements. When studying in university or college, people learn not only knowledge from books; they also ameliorate knowledge about time arrangement, team cooperation and other skills that are essential to other goals. Without knowledge mentioned above, the hope of other achievements that one might hold when attend university and college such as career preparation and new experience will be ungrounded.

Those who advocate that attending university is mainly for realistic life purpose might point out that learning knowledge is just one method of achieve more flexible life and there are many other crucial factors that are necessary to future success. Even so, in my assessment, knowledge is much more important and accessible than any other factors when people study in university and college.

In sum, it is in our best interesting for student to increase knowledge by attending university and college. And, in any case, the opinion that knowledge is critical to future success and should be treated as the main aim of attending university provides great rationale for the preference of knowledge increase against other aims.

我觉得自己写文章的时候论证不严密，虽然句子都写的很长，但真正意义上的论证很少，大多是废话。这种文章能得5分么？谢谢！

good essay

pay more attention to your long sentences to avoid minor errors and to assure ETS can easily grasp your ideas.

谢谢！我会注意的。我的写作水平实在很糟，只不过背了几篇范文而已，所以自己写出来的东东很需要指点。

It has recently been announced that a new restaurant may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer

你家附近将要建一个大饭店。你同意还是反对，详细阐述支持你看法的原因。

Should we support the plan about building a restaurant? The question seems to be a complex one. Different people give different answers due to their distinct perspectives, experience or backgrounds. As far as I am concerned, I will support this plan, for two reasons.

In the first place, I believe that the new restaurant will bring our community vast convenience and make people living here more comfortable. Actually, our community does indeed need a restaurant in that lots of old people living in our community along and cooking is really a challenge to them. For example, one of my neighbors is an old man who is about 69 years old and has no child. Because he is very dependent and reluctant to bother others, he would like to prepare meals by himself rather than by other people. Cooking is hard to a people like my neighbor due to their age and other factors. So the existence of a new restaurant will provide much more comfort to my neighbor and other people like he.

Another reason why a new restaurant is good news to our community is the fact that the restaurant will foster more business and diversify our services. It is easy to predict that a restaurant will absorb more customers and other business such as hire saloon or electronic game house will settle here due to the increasing customers. Both outcomes, in turn, benefit our community and show the people living here a more flexible life.

Admittedly, those who want a quiet living condition might point out that a new restaurant will bring more noise and make people upset. Indeed, it may be the case. However, the interests served by building a new restaurant are, in my assessment, more crucial to our community. Moreover, by setting some regulations about business behavior, the negative effect can be easily avoided.

In sum, it is in our best interest as a community to accept the plan about building a new restaurant. The appearance of new restaurant will benefit not only old people but also all members who are living in neighborhoods.

你的水平一点都不差, 用不着那么谦虚. 再练习一些拿5分是非常有希望的.

个别地方需再检查一下用法是否正确,比如: the interests served by building a new restaurant

还有: in that lots of old people living in our community along

我也觉得楼主很强的，又勤奋踏实；所以不必那么谦虚啦。。。

＋U! ＋U! ＋U!

有点小错误,符合ETS高分要求,应该有27分以上吧.

Should we support the plan about( plan for/to) building a restaurant? The question seems to be  a complex one.(to please ETS, suggest replacing with" The answer seems controversial". Avoid using one if it refers rather than a person that is not specified.) Different people give different answers due to their distinct perspectives, experience or backgrounds. As far as I am concerned, I will support this plan,(remove comma better) for two reasons.

In the first place, I believe that the new restaurant will bring our community vast(much, though vast not wrong, but not idiomatic, or violate the convention of collocation with convenience) convenience and make people living here(add" to feel" here )more comfortable. Actually, our community does indeed (actually and indeed are used one after one,  a usage make the expression abundant and awkward )need a restaurant in that(though it is a formal expression, but a little bit stilted, maybe since or for is better) lots of old people living in our community along and cooking is really a challenge to them. For example, one of my neighbors is an old man(senior more like American writing English) who is about 69 years old and has no child. Because he is very dependent and (illogical connection, "but" or "yet" is better here) reluctant to bother others, he would like to prepare meals by himself rather than by other people(mainly the repetition of the second half of last sentence. consider rivising). (more logical bridge need here, such as: Many living in this neghborhood are suffering from the same Cooking is hard to a people like my neighbor due to their age and other factors. So the existence of a new restaurant will provide much more comfort to my neighbor and other people like he.

Another reason why a new restaurant is good news to our community is the fact that the restaurant will foster more business and diversify our services. It is easy to predict that a restaurant will absorb more customers and other business such as hire saloon or electronic game house will settle here due to the increasing customers. Both outcomes, in turn, benefit our community and show the people living here a more flexible life.

Admittedly, those who want a quiet living condition might point out that a new restaurant will bring more noise and make people upset. Indeed, it may be the case. However, the interests served by building a new restaurant are, in my assessment, more crucial to our community. Moreover, by setting some regulations about business behavior, the negative effect can be easily avoided.

In sum, it is in our best interest as a community to accept the plan about building a new restaurant. The appearance of new restaurant will benefit not only old people but also all members who are living in neighborhoods.

mind the collocation: plan about+++> plan for/to , when plan is a noun

mind wording:

Should we support the plan about( plan for/to) building a restaurant? The question seems to be  a complex one.(to please ETS, suggest replacing with" The answer seems controversial". Avoid using one if it refers rather than a person that is not specified.) Different people give different answers due to their distinct perspectives, experience or backgrounds. As far as I am concerned, I will support this plan,(remove comma better) for two reasons.

In the first place, I believe that the new restaurant will bring our community vast(much, though vast not wrong, but not idiomatic, or violate the convention of collocation with convenience) convenience and make people living here(add" to feel" here )more comfortable. Actually, our community does indeed (actually and indeed are used one after one,  a usage make the expression abundant and awkward )need a restaurant in that(though it is a formal expression, but a little bit stilted, maybe since or for is better) lots of old people living in our community along and cooking is really a challenge to them. For example, one of my neighbors is an old man(senior more like American writing English) who is about 69 years old and has no child. Because he is very dependent and (illogical connection, "but" or "yet" is better here) reluctant to bother others, he would like to prepare meals by himself rather than by other people(mainly the repetition of the second half of last sentence. consider rivising). (more logical bridge need here, such as: Many living in this neghborhood are suffering for the same trouble) : Cooking is hard to a people like my neighbor due to their age and other factors. So the existence (opening) of a new restaurant will provide much more comfort to my neighbor and other people like he(provide sb with something/ provide sb sth).