Argument 46，求狠拍

lwx27 · 发表于 2012-1-3 22:50:25

The following appeared in a health magazine published in Corpora.\n”+
“Medical experts say that only one-quarter of Corpora’s citizens meet the
current standards for adequate physical fitness, even though twenty years
ago, one-half of all of Corpora’s citizens met the standards as then
defined. But these experts are mistaken when they suggest that spending
too much time using computers has caused a decline in fitness. Since
overall fitness levels are highest in regions of Corpora where levels of
computer ownership are also highest, it is clear that using computers has
not made citizens less physically fit. Instead, as shown by this year’s
unusually low expenditures on fitness-related products and services, the
recent decline in the economy is most likely the cause, and fitness levels
will improve when the economy does.
“Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated
assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument
depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the
argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.”;

In this argument, the author asserts that experts are mistaken in suggesting that spending too much time using computers has caused a decline in fitness. The author also claim that the recent decline in the economy is most likely the cause of fitness levels declining, and fitness levels will improve when the economy does. This argument is unwarranted due to several critical flaws as discussed below.

Firstly, citing the medical experts' saying that the number of Corpora's citizens who meet the standards for physical fitness decline in comparison with that twenty years ago, the author claims that the physical fitness of Corpora's citizens actually declines. Blind to the difference between current standards for adequate physical fitness and the standards as defined twenty years ago, both the author and experts assume that the current standards for adequate physical fitness are amount to even laxer than the standards defined twenty years ago. Unfortunately, advances in medical technology have made it possible for the tendency that current standards are stricter. In this case, although the number of Corpora's citizens who meet the standards for physical fitness decline, actual fitness of Corpora's citizens may not necessarily decline due to the difference of standards. The author would benefit from offering more information about the current standards and standards defined twenty years ago for physical fitness.

Then, on the basis of the fact that overall fitness levels are highest in regions of Corpora where levels of computer ownership are also highest, the author claims that the experts' opinion about the cause of fitness declining is wrong. In fact, the author equates levels of computer ownership with levels of computer usage. However, it is possible that levels of computer ownership are high in an area, while the levels of computer usage are low. Perhaps for the demand of work, most citizen have at least two computers, one in office while the other at home. But it’s highly skeptical that those citizens who have at least two computers would spend more time on computers than those only owning one computer but addicted to computer games. In view of such situation, since levels of computer ownership do not indicate levels of computer usage, the relationship between high levels of computer usage and high levels of overall fitness is weak and thus the author could not provide sufficient evidence to case doubt the experts’ opinion.

Finally, based on the assumption that decline in the economy lead to low expenditures on fitness-related products and services, the author claim that the recent decline in the economy is most likely the cause of fitness decline, and fitness levels will improve when the economy does. However, no evidence provided to support this assumption. In fact, people’s expenditures on fitness-related products and services could be affected by so many factors, such as people’s attitude on the efficacy of those products and services, that only consideration on economic environment is ill-advised. Perhaps citizens are so credulous about the efficacy of fitness-related products and services that although the economy decline recently, they are still willing to pay for those products and services. The author should have a more complete understanding of facts associated with people’s expenditures on fitness-related products and services.

In summarily, the argument is unpersuasive. To bolster it, the author should first carefully evaluate the assumption discussed above.

新鲜出炉，求狠拍。

普渡哥 · 发表于 2012-1-4 01:05:25

最后一段总结显得太少了。。。很多人很喜欢看开头和结尾的。

竹林中人 · 发表于 2012-1-4 12:50:42

中间的三段还是比较给力的，最后的一个总结你可以写的略微详细些，对上面的三段做个总结性的概括。

lukebrehm · 发表于 2012-1-4 20:38:42

Very good argument! Just remember not to make the mistake of stating something as a fact when there is not adequate proof for your statement, if you do that it would be easy for someone to refute you whole argument!

[作文互改] Argument 46，求狠拍

所属分类: GRE考试

正在浏览此版块的会员 ()