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Q: why should people attend the university?

In present, attending university has become one of the basic things in people’s lives, no one doubts why they should take it. Obviously, it is essential, here with the reasons following.

First of all, getting higher education will make one’s thinking more mature and rational, he/she will learn to think thing through by a critical way. One of my best friends, Joey, is the best example for me to support this idea, when she was still a high school student, she always did things following her own mind, never care about the others. One time, we got a group work for a lecture assignment, we planned to have a group meeting the next day, but we could not contact her in the meeting time so we had to make another meeting, while when I met her later I found the reason was just because of her bad memory, which made I was so disappoint that I didn't talk to her for a quiet long time. However, when she attended the university later, I notice that she became like a mature woman instead of a little girl, caring much more about the friends’ feeling, as well as more likely to listening to partners’ ideas and thoughts. That’s what I see from her about the university education.

What’s more, the average of the age range for the university students is approximate 20 or more, which is the key period for a freshman to adapt to the society and careers. During the 4-year’s bachelor’s time can let the students consider seriously about their future and lives’ achievements. It is hard to image a high school student who only has a bit experience and even no skills can find his/her position in the adult’s environment.

Overall, it is very important to attend the university. Only by this way could people understand themselves better for the rest of the lives.

Q: why should people attend the university?

In present, attending university has become one of the basic things in people’s lives, no one doubts why they should take it. Obviously, it is essential, here with the reasons following.

First of all, getting higher education will make one’s thinking more mature and rational, he/she will learn to think thing through by a critical way. One of my best friends, Joey, is the best example for me to support this idea, when she was still a high school student, she always did things following her own mind, never care about the others. One time, we got a group work for a lecture assignment, we planned to have a group meeting the next day, but we could not contact her in the meeting time so we had to make another meeting, while when I met her later I found the reason was just because of her bad memory, which made I was so disappoint that I didn't talk to her for a quiet long time. However, when she attended the university later, I notice that she became like a mature woman instead of a little girl, caring much more about the friends’ feeling, as well as more likely to listening to partners’ ideas and thoughts. That’s what I see from her about the university education.

这样几个问题：1）说理不够清楚，例如这个例子很长（很利于多字数），但开篇句与结尾句才提到与大学教育的关系，有点突兀。可以适当加几句，例如，在大学里她因为住宿舍、参加了更多的社会活动、向师兄师姐学习等等，这样能充分develop你的观点；2）有部分语法错误，如which made I was so disappointed, 应为which made me so disappointed，又如时态不一致；3）用词较为单调，不准确，例如thinking一般指智力上的thinking，而你举的例子更是性格上的，用personality这样的词更合适。

What’s more, the average of the age range for the university students is approximate 20 or more, which is the key period for a freshman to adapt to the society and careers. During the 4-year’s bachelor’s time can let the students consider seriously about their future and lives’ achievements. It is hard to image a high school student who only has a bit experience and even no skills can find his/her position in the adult’s environment.

这样几个问题：说理不清（观点清晰，你是说大学能更好地帮助适应社会？确立目标？积累经验？）；有小语法错误。而且如果你只写两个观点，第二段太短。

这样几个问题：说理不清（观点清晰，你是说大学能更好地帮助适应社会？确立目标？积累经验？）；有小语法错误。而且如果你只写两个观点，第二段太短。

Overall, it is very important to attend the university. Only by this way could people understand themselves better for the rest of the lives. 结尾段略简陋，可以适当加一些让步。

观点方面可以更diversify更充实些。如：第一，大学时代的集体生活与社会活令人性格更为成熟（用你的第一个例子）；第二，大学时代的课程学习与技能积累帮助人更好地确立职业目标，为进入社会作好准备（而且雇主也会要求看教育背景以证明你的能力）；第三，大学时代的校园生活非常colourful，许多人在这里找到了志同道合的朋友，甚至人生的伴侣。

让步：也有很多人不上大学也成功了，但是我相信上大学还是……

根据上面的评论该了

Q: why should people attend the university?

In present, attending university has become one of the basic things in people’s lives, no one doubts why they should take it. Obviously, it is essential, here with the reasons following.

First of all, getting higher education will make one’s personality more mature and rational, he/she will learn to think things through by a critical way and the group life in campus will let students experience the importance and necessity of the team work. One of my best friends, Joey, is the best example for me to support this idea, when she was still a high school student, she always did things following her own mind, never cared about the others. But after attending university, she lived in the dormitory, took active part in student union, found a part-time job, she became like a mature woman more than just a little girl, caring much more about the friends’ feeling, as well as more likely to listening to partners’ ideas and thoughts. That’s what I see from her about the university education.

Then the courses of university will help students accumulate the skills they need to prepare to adapt the society and persuade the lives’ achievements. It is hard to image a high school student who only has a bit experience and even no skills can find his/her position in the society. What’s more, the average of the age range for the university students is approximate 20 or even lower, they are still too young to face the adults’ world, their thoughts may haven’t been mature enough to be critical and objective. The 4-year’s bachelor’s time is the key period for teenagers to consider seriously about their future.

Last but not least, the campus life is interesting and cheerful, students can find plenty of friends having the same hobbits and interest, or even lovers.

Overall, although there exists tremendous of examples showing that life can be successful even without university, in my opinion, it is a necessary experience for everyone.