[求助]大家帮忙看看这个作文有什么问题？28号考，才第一次写，感谢各位帮忙了！

题目是在我们的young adult时期，有人选独立生活，有人选和家人一起生活，问我怎么选（就是og模拟题的那个作文），之前在准备其他的，今天才开始写作文，因此用了别人说的first，second。。。的格式，也没怎么想去创新，不知道这样写能有多少分？大家是否有什么建议？我28号考了，有没有香港的考友啊？～

The friends around me are commonly have this difference: some of them is already working but still prefer to live with their families in order to save money or get more conveniences. In contrary, the rest of them prefer to live alone to challenge themselves. Actually, I am the later one because of following reasons.

First, to be an adult is not only to take rights but also responsibilities, and live with family may make them forget this. In many countries, the law give a regulation which the citizen who reach their 18 years old will represent he/she is an adult. In the other words, they can share the rights as other adults such as their parents, nevertheless, they gain the relevant duties to themselves and to the society. However, staying with family will let them escape from the responsibilities but rights.

Second, we would leave our families someday, so the earlier we get ready for it the better. All we know that, we can not live with families forever and we will lack of necessary knowledge or experiences if we stay with families till the last, that can actually lead us to an embarrassing situation because we do not know or experience enough. Thus, we need an earlier independence to  improve ourselves to get ready for the future life.

Last but not least, independence could give us a lot of useful experiences and fun. The life we live with families have at least 18 years (we suppose that the adult age is 18), in that case, a new style of life will probably give us a new world. When we live alone, we need to do a lot which we have never done before because of the helps of our families. During the independent life, it gives us various possibilities such as failure, success, happiness, depression, and these are really valuable property of our life.

In conclusion, independence when we are in our young adult age will gives us more advantages than the negative one.

好像是跑题了。。。