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31就考了 帮忙看看作文。。。。

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楼主
发表于 2008-5-18 23:38:00 | 只看该作者

31就考了 帮忙看看作文。。。。

69.If you could study a subject that you have never had the opportunity to study ,what would you choose? Explain your choices,use specfic reasons and details.


Along with the development of economy as well as the tehnology of modern socity,the huamn beings' standard of living grew from enduring stravation into enjoying a leisure life bring an increasingly remarkable problem that we should protect our environment.If  I were asked which subject you want yo learn most ,I would chosoe the environment for the sake of the situation.
First ,I want to mention that the pollution seems to be more serious than ever before .The waste gases from cars ,factories and stoves pollute the air ,the litter from home,socity and a variety of methods affect the circumstance around us badly .Since many people don't realise the danger we  may encounter ,studying the subject would help the men who don't consider it seriously . Only in this way can we limit the pollution emitting toward the environment .
Obviously,too, because more people had taken this problem into consideration,knowing how to deal with the present situation and the influence proves to be the key point that matters the most. Hence ,learnning this subject can lead these people step onto a right direction and then successfully treat this influence efficiently and properly . Many Eurpo countries had passed a lot of laws to limit the pollution ,so the environment there seems to be much better than ours .
Beyond the two points talked above ,the importantance another point that protecting our planet is to prolong the life and culture for human beings should hardly be stressed .We only have one earth.Based on the ability of present human beings ,we failed to find another "earth" for people to continue their life .Therefore ,we have no choice but to do something to prevent our home from  being destoryed.Studying the environemnnt is not only the requirment of modern technology ,but the future of human beings as well.
So this subject proves quite essential for human to live longer and give birth to new inventions and discoveries.     


模板基本是自己的,感觉很烂,诸位帮忙。。。。。
沙发
发表于 2008-5-20 01:26:00 | 只看该作者

1.You have too many wrong spelling, which can probably make your score lower.

2.Some long sentences seemed blurring.

板凳
发表于 2008-5-21 21:18:00 | 只看该作者

开头有很多话可以不说If  I were asked which subject you want yo learn most像这个,又占字数又没内涵,不要写

内容上强调为什么你要学习这门学科,楼主有些跑题了

结尾有些无力

我也是31号考,在北京,大家共勉吧,还有点时间,可以再提高的

 

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