请大家帮我改改作文，谢了

Topic:There are many resources of news and information in the world, it's different to know whom to believe and what is truth.

 Attractive apperance is the target of ladies, while fashionable ladies are rewarded admiration and jealousy. Without attractive apperance and fashion is like fish without water, which opinion is holding by vast majority of ladies commonly.

In this modren world, only physical sufficiency will not satisfy people who are pursuing excitement and privilege that has affected the greeting sentence slides from " What did you have for lunch?" into " Do you have the perfume of Chanel?"

Frankly speaking, a growing number of people is accepting fashion as the status of class, attractive apperance as the symbol of charming, inner beauty as the signal of stupid. For instance, a person goes to a famous restaurant without a suit will be rejected entering politely with an unacceptable excuse that it belongs to these celebrities and gentlemen. Besides these look-down uponed restautants, meanwhile the mass media is a big cooperator. " Idol" is a widely-heard word among people. After a conversatoin with teenagers, the first thought jump into one's mind at the moment of hearing it is " super-star". This developed universe help people stop experiencing starvation and have the desire of holding more. Due to this point, the teenagers are looking for some big shots who are more attractive, richer and fashionable than them, then these big shots are titled as " idol". These attractive, rich fashionable " idol", whose jobs aer showing their luxurious life, breathtaking beauty and ambitious love fair, therefore, they are becomign the mouthpiece of luxury. Since the audience do not recognize the masks on their faces, they believe that what are showing in front of them is their real lives. Undoubtly, they are falling down the day-dream net which is knitted by themselves and begin to follow the footsteps of these celebrities, dream about being exactly the same as them, which devote to the standard of beauty switches and the trend of world will changes.

According to the fact above, it is safe for us to make the conclusion that attractive appearance and fashion are evoking more and more attention among people and even have the potention of judging social status.

谢谢大家

随便看了一下：

Frankly speaking, a growing number of people is accepting fashion as the status of class, attractive apperance as the symbol of charming, inner beauty as the signal of stupid.

排比句的连接词在哪里？

These attractive, rich fashionable " idol", whose jobs aer showing their luxurious life, breathtaking beauty and ambitious love fair, therefore, they are becomign the mouthpiece of luxury.

连接词在哪里？therefore副词，不能做连接词。

Undoubtly, they are falling down the day-dream net which is knitted by themselves and begin to follow the footsteps of these celebrities, whose dreams are about being exactly the same as them, who devote themselves to the standard of beauty switches and the trend of world will changes.

一片混乱，俺觉得which knits them；前面用are falling后面变成begin啦； devote to 后面怎么可以加the standard of beauty switches和the trend of world will changes这样的句子？

错误还有很多，不一一指出啦。楼主语法需要复习，用词要更准确。

给楼主打分23....