看到后面,实在是忍不住,所以改的地方是越改越多,前面两段只改了两处,后面就大开杀戒啦。  实际上还不是所谓的大刀阔斧的改,因为要是我写的话,句式、组织、编排、语序,都根本不会是这么写。 有些地方不是说楼主写的不对,而是在我眼里更好一些。还有一些地方,是由于觉得楼主的文章表达会产生歧义,或是意思比较含糊,所以为了把意思说清楚,避免歧义,就给改啦。剩下一些地方,是楼主确实写得不妥。 就句式的多样性来看,很遗憾,楼主一个倒装句都没有用。 我用破折号是为了文章标点符号的多样性。 下面是改的,红色字表修改,蓝色表要删除的内容。
For ages, speaking and writing have been vital aids to the intellectual, emotional and spiritual growth of mankind. With rapid changes in the society and scientific advancement of human race over the decades, the necessity and importance of speaking and writing has increased remarkably. Unfortunately, not everyone is endowed with both skills, so it is hotly debated which one is more important. Both speaking and writing are ways of communication yet their dimensions, functions and occasions may vary. Now I am going to compare speaking to writing and analyze their differences.
The content conveyed by speaking is delivered verbally, vocally and very often, visually, while the content by writing is merely delivered verbally(或用倒装:while merely is the content by writing delivered verbally), and very rarely visually. In speaking, communication is greatly influenced by vocal factors such as volume, pitch, emphasis, rate, pauses, articulation, pronunciation, and visual factors such as appearance, facial expressions, eye contact, posture, movement, gestures, visual aids and even live performance, none of which exists in writing. Thus, more psychological information about communicators of human is conveniently and vividly conveyed through speaking, which improves (or and improves看你是要指代speaking还是psychological information而定。) the communication process by interactive feedback; whereas for writing, people can only read silent, dull, emotionless words and sentences. Imagining you are a judge, do you prefer reading piles of legal documents, or, enjoying conferring along with the jury and an audience, and hearing an interactive case consisting of parties' statement, lawyers' debate and declamation, even plus a mock scene of the crime?
Speaking is expected to be responded instantly while written documents are often transmitted and dealt with a delay, even, in extreme case, may be unfortunately lost or ignored. Moreover, it is entirely possible that the fastest-transmitted writing form, Email, is delayed for several minutes in the modern society, and in some dire cases could be lost due to server problems, and be intentionally or unintentionally ignored. In contrast, via speaking the communicator always gets an immediate feedback. Writing also takes from the communicator a very long time to research, organize, draft and amend. Speaking is used in both formal and informal circumstances while writing is mostly used on formal occasions----- including inauguration, press conference, business negotiation, marketing campaign, etc----- whereas informal occasions include daily conversation, on both of which speaking enjoys the flexibility of various delivery methods, such as speaking from a manuscript, from memory and impromptu speaking, or speaking with rehearsal, on the record and off the record, all of which are under people will. Who would choose to write in writing's way instead of to speak in whatever way he or she wants if without restriction that only writing is authorized?
Indeed it is true that some official documents are of vital importance in daily business and have their own formats which require competent skills of writing------(破折号表转折,也可以用however或yet或nonetheless来代替破折号) speaking, as a more effective, efficient and more frequently used delivery way, is far more important than writing. Therefore, so much because of the inadequate speaking education in China, speaking ability should be emphasized in greater extent upon the both education and job training, with the aim to build an efficient and harmonious nation of natural, confident, and professional speakers. p.s.我没有给楼主投票打分。
[此贴子已经被作者于2007-1-5 20:05:10编辑过] |