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我的作文TOPIC24 大家来改改吧

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楼主
发表于 2006-4-29 19:56:00 | 只看该作者

我的作文TOPIC24 大家来改改吧

24. A person you know is planning to move to your town or city. What do you think this person would like and dislike about living in your town or city? Why? Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.


A friend of mine is mouing to my city ,so I have been thinking about what he would and would not like about it. Just in my point of view, there may be by one or two disadvantages to live in my city; howeever, I be lieve that there are for more advantages.


       The well developed traffic system in my city is the first and foremost reason that I have chosen to explain. Residents of my city always go into raptures at the mere mention of the traffic system. They are forever taking about the wide roads, the convenient bus and subway system. Nothing, we maintain, is more essential than such projects for a better life.


        Furthermore, there are numerous play grounds in my city. Today an increasing number of people have realized that health is of great importance. Just as an old saying goes: taking exercise is closely related to health. My city has managed to afford more play grounds by proper steps so that more residents can enjoy exercising.


         erhaps one disadvantage to live in my city is that our educational system leaves something to be desired. Due to high tuition fee, most of ordinary families cannot afford to send their children to school. However, the city authority has started several measures to provides more schools and facilities for children.


       In a word, in sipte of the fact that there may be disadvantages for my friend to live in my city. I feel that the advantage s are more obvious: the well developed traffic system and numerous play grounds. Taking into account of all these factors, I suppose this is the place for him.



各位大侠来赐教吧

沙发
发表于 2006-5-4 21:14:00 | 只看该作者
太单薄了吧?
板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2006-5-8 10:49:00 | 只看该作者

弱问一下  什么是太单薄


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