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AA009 欢迎指正!!

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楼主
发表于 2005-9-8 15:26:00 | 只看该作者

AA009 欢迎指正!!



琢磨了半天想了三个反驳点,但是好像字数还是少,并且句子用得自己都觉得贫,苦闷ing.


唉,AWA路漫漫~~~


请NN批改!!



9. The following appeared in the opinion column of a financial magazine.


"On average, middle-aged consumers devote 39 percent of their retail expenditure to department store products and services, while for younger consumers the average is only 25 percent. Since the number of middle-aged people will increase dramatically within the next decade, department stores can expect retail sales to increase significantly during that period. Furthermore, to take advantage of the trend, these stores should begin to replace some of those products intended to attract the younger consumer with products intended to attract the middle-aged consumer."


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Citing fact drawn from a statistics that middle-aged consumer devote a larger percentage of their retail expenditure to department store products and services than younger consumers do so, the author concludes that the department stores will meet its significant increase in retail sales within the next decade, since the number of middle-aged people will increase dramatically during that period. At first glance, the author's statement appears to be somewhat acceptable, but further reflection reveals that it is based on some dubious issues.  



First, the author assumes that by showing the percentage of consumers' retail expenditures, the retail sales on department store’s products and services could be well reflected. However, this assumption is oversimplified because the retail sales depend on two key factors in this statistics, the total consumption of retail expenditures and the percentage of the retail expenditure on department stores.  Obviously, this argument lacks the data of the latter item, thus insufficiently suggests that the retail sales in department stores are much more attributed to middle-aged consumers than to younger consumers.   



Second, the author roughly concludes that the department stores will increase its retail sales within the next decade according to the increasing number of middle-aged people at that time. However, it is not entirely reasonable to make this allege because the department stores' retail sales are affected by many aspects, such as internal management and market competition. So it is better to add other business information before making this claim.



Third, the author suggests replacing some of products intended to attract younger people with products intended to attract middle-aged people in order to get more retail sales. But in my opinion, the author should find out the reason why do middle-aged people prefer shopping in apartment stores in advance. For instance, if the middle-aged consumers are attracted by the shopping environment or shopping mode in apartment stores, changing some products will be useless for attracting them.



As it stands, the statement from the magazine is weak. To better support it, the author need to make further investigation on the three above issues. After that, he/she could judge the sales trend of department stores more logically and rationally, and make more responsible advice.



[此贴子已经被作者于2005-9-8 15:44:18编辑过]
沙发
发表于 2005-9-9 01:36:00 | 只看该作者
板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2005-9-9 17:35:00 | 只看该作者
我把那个看了的,before i wrote this one.
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