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159 The twentieth century saw great change. In your opinion, what is one change that should be remembered about the twentieth century? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice.

Different people hold different opinions due to their distinct backgrounds.Considering my experience and personality to see the world of the twentieth century ,I would like to say that information technology should be remembered about the twentieth century. There are many persuasive reasons why I choose this statement ,and I will explore a few of improtant reasons and provide some concrete evidence to support my viewpoints as follows

First of all ,the reason that can be presented to develop my position is that efficiency has been increased in the twentieth century .As we know ,hight efficiecny bring more harvest to a person or group and make us understand that it is important to develop information technology. For example ,internet are used widely in the twentieth century and make information sharing .So some problems spent lots of time to resolve before are easy to handle. Furthermore, high effifciency have us save time to do more things.Under this circumstance ,it is obvious that we should increase efficiency if we intend to have a lot of achivement.

In the second place ,another convicing reason for me to choose this statement is that commucation with each other has been more frequenct than before.It is exchanging information for people that let them know each other and share the same interest.. It is exchanging ideas for companies that improve competitive themselves.Meanwhile, without commucation, a person or group is not easy to develop.Hence,another equally important aspect is that we should exchang information with others if we want to have competitive.

In addition, what is worth noticing is that we have trimmed our cost when information technology develops.For instance ,new technology invented in the twentieth century has incresed efficiency saves money simutaneously. Take into account of this reason, we will easy find that information technology is important to trim our cost.

Admittedly, it is ture that other changes should be remembered about the twentiedth century .However I think nothing is more important for us to remember the information technology.Other changes does not lend strong support to weaken what I have supported.So the most striking conclusion is obvious that information technology must be remembered about the twentieth century by us .

To sum up, due to reasons above mentioned,it is more confortable for me that we should remember information technology about the twentieth century .Thus I can safely and wisely reach this conclusion.

159 The twentieth century saw great change. In your opinion, what is one change that should be remembered about the twentieth century? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice.

Different people hold different opinions due to their distinct backgrounds. Considering my experience and personality to see the world of the twentieth century ,I would like to say that information technology should be remembered about  the twentieth century. There are many persuasive reasons why I choose this statement ,and I will explore a few of improtant reasons and provide some concrete evidence to support my viewpoints as follows

First of all ,the reason that can be presented to develop my position is that efficiency has been increased in the twentieth century .As we know ,hight(high) efficiency(efficiency) bring(s) more harvest to a person or group and make us understand that it is important (the importance) to develop information technology. For example ,internet are(is) used widely in the twentieth century and (to)make information sharing (share among people in different regions).So some problems (which) spent lots of time to resolve before are easy to handle (now). Furthermore, high effifciency(efficiency) have(has) us save time to do more things.Under this circumstance ,it is obvious that we should increase efficiency if we intend to have a lot of achievement(s).

In the second place ,another convicing(convincing) reason for me to choose this statement is that commucation(communication) with each other has been more frequenct (frequent) than before.It is exchanging information for people that let them know each other and share the same interest.. It is exchanging ideas for companies that improve competitive themselves(them to be more competitive).Meanwhile, without commucation, a person or group is not easy to develop.Hence,another equally important aspect is that we should exchang(e) information with others if we want to have competitive(是adj, 应用n.).

In addition, what is worth noticing is that we have trimmed our cost when information technology develops.For instance ,new technology invented in the twentieth century has incresed efficiency (and) saves(d) money simutaneously. Take into account of this reason(Taking this reason into account), we will easy(easily) find that information technology is important to trim our cost.

Admittedly, it is ture that other changes should be remembered about the twentiedth century .However I think nothing is more important for us to remember the information technology.Other changes does not lend strong support to weaken what I have supported.So the most striking conclusion is obvious that information technology must be remembered about the twentieth century by us .

To sum up, due to (the) reasons above mentioned (mentioned above),it is more confortable(你要用的是comfortable 吗？) for me that we should remember information technology about the twentieth century .Thus I can safely and wisely reach this conclusion.

1．第一段第一句话，有些突兀，似乎没有问题，直接来了个答案。

2．用词的时候注意词性

3．有些句子方面的问题

4．整体可以