以下是引用whitesand在2005-3-4 14:34:00的发言： joanrain MM, 我还没开始限时呢，因为一限时就发现手还不如脚好用。所以看你限时还写得很不错，心里佩服ing
nuli MM, 谢谢帮我修改。
我自己又改了一遍，毛病真不少，改的时间比写的要长，唉！ People cannot select parents, but he（前面用复数people，后面还是用they才能对应） can select the place to live. A big city or a small town, which one do you prefer? Considering the convenience, quite a lot of people will choose the big city. However, some people may prefer to stay in a small town in order to enjoy the fresh air and the slow life pace. In my point of view, I will strongly support the former and choose to stay in a big city.
One compelling argument in favor of my statement is that it is very convenient to stay in a big city. Now it is commonly（此处为表语，应为common） that most of the government agencies, business and finance centers, universities, railway stations, airports and hospitals are located in big cities. Staying in a place within easy reach of all those important facilities, people in big cities can be much more efficient than those in small towns. For instance, I have ever traveled to Hong Kong to meet customers and returned to Singapore on the same day. Since I left and came back at the usual time, no body（nobody） in my home was aware that I had left the country. On the contrary, one of my friends who is staying in a small city took the GMAT exam last year. The day before the exam, she had to take a train to Shanghai and stayed in a hotel in order to be on time. If she were in a big city, it would not be so troublesome.
Furthermore, there are much more opportunities in the big city. As we all very young, it is not the time for us to relax and enjoy life. We need various opportunities to fight for our future. We need to look for jobs to support ourselves and improve our skills; we need good investment opportunities to set up our own business. Singles need chances to meet high quality people so they can find their Mr. or Mrs. Right(这是书面语，建议去掉口语化的词). If we were staying in a small town, the selection would be too limited.
While （建议去掉while）just like coins(a coin), everything has two sides. It is true that there are some advantages to stay in a small town. For instance, the air (没有比较对象，建议加in the small town)is not so seriously polluted as that in the big city. The life style is more relax（relax为动词，形容词为relaxing） and people are less pressurized. Thus a healthier environment makes the small town an attractive place to live in. But it seems to me that the disadvantages still overweigh the advantages.
Based on all the facts previously stated, it is easy to draw the conclusion that compared with small town, big city is a better place to live in. Even though we have to suffer from the problems that are inherent in big cities(该分句没有主句). But without pains, how can we make gains?
这个到底怎么表达才好呢？ "单身人士需要寻找另一半" 'look for another part ' 觉得是中文说法，英文怎么说才合适呢？'look for a suitable person to get marry' 好象又太直接。
最后一段修改如下，看来只有从句没有主句是我爱犯的毛病之一。 Based on all the facts previously stated, it is easy to draw the conclusion that compared with small town, big city is a better place to live in. Admittedly, big cities have problems that are inherent in them. However, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
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发表于 2005-3-4 21:32:00
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