TWE167 麻烦给看看 谢谢

167 Your school has enough money to purchase either computers for students or books for the library. Which should your school choose to buy - computers or books? Use specific reasons and examples to support your recommendation.

It seems very difficult to choose one of two choices to make everyone satisfied, because computers and books have their functions and characteristics. But it does not mean they are the same to me. To be frank, I would choose to purchase computers for students according to the practical situation of the modern society. To explain my point of view, I will illustrate it in following three aspects.

Computer is the most important tool of communication in the twenty-first century. With the development of technology of communication, computers bring a renovation of tool of communication. People can stay at home to get everything they want by internet. For students, they need many kinds of information to help them to finish their homework, essays and representations. Computer can give them a good hand. It is the most convenient and fastest way to gain knowledge by researching on websites, not by looking for many unmarked books.

Computers make people work more efficiently. If students have computers, they can use computer to type their homework, then send to their teacher by E-mail. When they are puzzled for some problems, computer could help them to contact with professors immediately and directly, the professors can explain questions by different kinds of medium on websites. So computers make students solve problems more timely and effectively. At the same time, the relationship between the students and the professors is reinfored.

Computers make many different kinds of information be controlled in hands. As long as pointing an icon or typing some letters, people could find much relative information they want by this completely new way. On other hands, computers can keep more information than a book or many books, even the entire book of a big library. Its characteristics decide it is a worthwhile tool for students. Although books have some benefits as well, for example, they protect eyes, students can take them to anywhere and the price is cheaper, I still believe computer is the most proper choice for students.

In a word, the computers are the most suitable choice due to need of the students and the characteristics of the computers.

我想问一下  结尾到底要简单一点 还是多些两句比较好？

谢谢指教

167 Your school has enough money to purchase either computers for students or books for the library. Which should your school choose to buy - computers or books? Use specific reasons and examples to support your recommendation.

It seems very difficult to choose one of two choices to make everyone satisfied, (make an alternative choice to satisfy either side) because (both) computers and books have their functions and characteristics. (逻辑上有问题，还是advantage and disadvantage比较好) But it does not mean they are the same to me. To be frank, I would choose to purchase computers for students according to the practical situation of the modern society. To explain my point of view, I will illustrate it （I will illustrate my view）in following three aspects.

Computer is the most important tool of communication (也不能算错，但是个人觉得communication tool更好) in the twenty-first century. With the development of technology of communication, (communication technology) computers bring a renovation of tool of communication. People can stay at home to get （to get表目的，改成getting比较好）everything they want by internet. For students, they need many kinds of information to help them to finish their homework, essays and representations. Computer can give them a good hand. It is the most convenient and fastest way to gain knowledge by researching on websites, not by looking for many unmarked books. （not only一出，but also就要带出来；拆成两句，we can gain knowledge not only by looking for many books, but also researching on websites. This is a more convenient means.）

Computers make people work more efficiently. （For instance,）If students have computers, they can use （a）computer to type their homework, then send （it）to their teacher by E-mail. When they are puzzled for some problems, computers could help them to contact with professors immediately and directly, （这种情况，动词跟宾语，那么把副词放到动词之前）（去掉逗号，加so that；或者分开写。否则两个句子放一个句子里？）the professors can explain questions by different kinds of medium （kinds of+n.s 改成media）on websites. So computers make students solve problems more timely and effectively. At the same time, the relationship between the students and the professors is reinforced.（the more idea exchange, the more steady the relationship between students and professors is.）

下面不看了，新年快乐！

改的好仔细  谢谢

错误也好多  还要加油

作文好头疼哦

My suggestion is that you need to modify again by yourself. Good Luck!

我有自己修改  但是我发现一到考场上   就想不出什么好句子了

比如把倒装用进文章  到时候我就什么都想不起来了