TWE009-我想拿6分hncsxj请求修改

009 Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Accompanied with the economical growth is the urbanization all over the world. People previously living in small towns are rushing to the metropolitans to fulfill their dreams. The issue this phenomenon raises is whether or not it is more worthwhile to live in a big city rather than a small one. As far as I am concerned, I advocate that living in a big city is more attractive to most of people. In the following discussion, I would reason and present examples to support my viewpoint.

To begin with, there are more opportunities in central cities. According to the urban planning theory, the bigger the city is, the more attractive it is to the capital, labours and other economical elements. A recent survey conducted by Ontario Professional Planners Institution reveals that the total number of companies in Toronto is at least three times of that in Kinston, which is only one third of the former in large. Therefore, it is general for most of the new immigrants to choose Toronto as their foothold to begin their new life. It is relatively easy for them to acquire jobs in such a big city.

Next, the services a big city provides are much better and more than a small one does due to the scale of economy. Obviously, those for-profit or not-for-profit organizations are more willing to come to big cities because of the potentially tremendous market there. As a result, it leads to all kinds of services available in big cities. For example, there are more stadiums, universities and hospitals in Peking, the capital of China than in small towns like Changsha or Kinston.

Admittedly, living in a small town is not without its advantages, such as better air quality and closer interpersonal relationships. However, the advantages of living in a big city carry more weights, because we live not just for better air quality or interpersonal relationships. We are trying to thrive in the society and to achieve our own values. These objectives could be easier to achieve in big cities.

To sum up, given the reasons discussed above, living in a big city is more favorable by most of people. In fact, this year, there are more residents in small cities immigrating to central cities, observed by Global Mail.  

i would say this writing is fairly good. and surely you can get at least 5.5l, rigorously speaking.

some sentences that need revision:

in large: large is adj, not noun.  do you mean in area, or coverage.

the services a big city provides are much better and more than a small one does. This is ok, but here you omit the object compared, a little confusing. I would say: the services provided by a big city are much better.... than those provided by a small city.  For GMAT grammar's viewpoint. hehhe.

Admittedly, living in a small town is not without its advantages,   this expression to me is rather awkward. I would say, living in a small town still has its own advantages. Althought it is plain, it is not weird.

good luck to you.

Thank you, snow mountain. It is generous of you to show so much consideration to me. This Xristmas brings a lot thoughts and memories...

Accompanied with the economical growth is the urbanization all over the world. People previously living in small towns are rushing to the metropolitans to fulfill their dreams. The issue this phenomenon raises is whether or not it is more worthwhile to live in a big city rather than a small one. As far as I am concerned, I advocate that living in a big city is more attractive to most of people. In the following discussion, I would reason and present examples to support my viewpoint. (in the following paragraphs, I would show my reasons with supporting examples)..better wording

To begin with, there are more opportunities in central cities. According to the urban planning theory, the bigger the city is, the more attractive it is to the capital, labours and other economical elements. A recent survey conducted by Ontario Professional Planners Institution reveals that the total number of companies in Toronto is at least three times of that in Kinston, which is only one third of the former in large. (??) Therefore, it is general (it is very common, or generally, most immigrants) for most of the new immigrants to choose Toronto as their foothold to begin their new life (lives). It is relatively easy for them to acquire jobs in such a big city. (in the big city--because you're indicating the city of toronto. )

Next, ( In addition,)_ the services a big city provides (provide, because it's pointing at SERVICES) are much better and more than a small one (what does the one indicating??) does due to the scale of economy. Obviously, those for-profit or not-for-profit (profitable, or non-profit, word choices,) organizations are more willing to come to big cities because of the potentially tremendous market there (there is redundant) . As a result, it leads to all kinds of services available in big cities. For example, there are more stadiums, universities and hospitals in Peking, the capital of China than in small towns like Changsha or Kinston.

Admittedly, living in a small town is not without its advantages, (living in a small down has advantages as well, when you say NOT WITHOUT--it's confusing) such as better air quality and closer interpersonal relationships. However, the advantages of living in a big city carry more weights, because we live not just for better air quality or interpersonal relationships. We are trying to thrive in the society and to achieve our own values. These objectives could be easier to achieve in big cities.

To sum up, given the reasons discussed above, living in a big city is more favorable by most of people. In fact, this year, there are more residents in small cities immigrating to central cities, observed by Global Mail.

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