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[作文互改] issue2...感激不尽

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楼主
发表于 2013-2-27 19:43:06 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
6. A nation should require all of its students to study the same nationalcurriculum until they enter college.


Writea response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree withthe recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. Indeveloping and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances inwhich adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explainhow these examples shape your position.————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

In many developing countries, studentsdiffering from each other are taking the same courses with different books,which make the department call for all teachers to edit relevant books. From theperspective of saving the cost of human resources, I fundamentally agree withthe author that taking the same national curriculum before entering thecollege, which can be also substantiated with the following discussions.
In the first place, due to the sole bookstaught in the whole country, the department of education will invest much andinvite the most excellent sages and educational experts, like professors inuniversities to edit or write this kind of books in order to guarantee theirqualities and prepare high-level education for students.

Also, after graduating from high school,each student's knowledge is at the same level. It means that universities don'thave to strive to make curriculums suitable for students who are above or belowthe level of average education experience.
Since similar education styles and books,all students can be examined by the sole paper, which will save teachers' muchenergy and the capital cost of the government.

At the first glance, it seems its opinionsomewhat convinced, however, further consideration tells me that I cannot fullyagree with the speaker.
The area of China is too big to satisfyeach people of minority with different customs and traditions, which may inducedetrimental effects on them. Chinese instill in students antitheism, which iscontrary to some minorities' faiths like Muslim believing in Allah and resultin social chaos.
Many developed regions have more advancefacilities and notions. They are bestowed with more abilities to give theircitizens privilege in education. Computer and swimming classes are goodchoices, nevertheless, which beyond the fiscal level of some poor provinces'government. It’s a manner of wasting resources.
The basic nature of education is to makestudents' potential aggrandized. Without thinking about the dissimilarity ofstudents, they have to give up the opportunities enrolled in college. Han Han,a famous writer in China mainland, publishing a large quantity of popularbooks, was a "bad" boy in High school. He failed most of his coursesexcept for Chinese and getting lots of trophies in many writing competitions.And he knows himself who are only born for writing very well due to ignoranceof admission to Fudan University which may make him all-round developed. Underthese circumstances, gifted students cannot be excellent actually.

Aboveall, while it is very convenient for the state to provide the same nationalcurriculums, it is more essential to take the regions' differences and talentsof students into account with the purpose of establishing a better atmospherefor students. This style of education mode can completely inspire theircreativity and make them open-minded.
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沙发
发表于 2013-2-28 12:07:13 | 只看该作者
感到很迷惑你的观点到底是什么,文章中有“In the first place”“At the first glance”,前后内容感觉割裂开来了。
另外,issue差不多可以说是学术性的写作了,语言要力求准确,思路清晰,切忌空泛武断,漏洞百出。
建议LZ好好读下OG上的作文指导和范文,analytical,specific,centered,complex,这几个点是需要在文中有体现的
板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2013-3-2 17:36:24 | 只看该作者
如果有两面性的观点是否要突出其中一种观点呢?O(∩_∩)O谢谢。。困惑ing
地板
发表于 2013-3-2 18:02:56 | 只看该作者
两面性的观点,我建议大同小异或者是小同大异,而最好不要写一半一半,这样很难掌控
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