TWE 159 BEG FOR HELP!(TEST NEXT MONTH!!!)

159One change in the twenties century should be remember.

Undoubtedly, in the twentieth century computer has completely changed the ways people studying, working and living. It not only contributes to human industries and economy, but also have significant impact on the evolution of human society. As a result, I believe that the most remarkable change in the twenties century is the extensive use of computers.

The first reason illustrates my point of view is that computers enhance the efficiency of work, which enable people to save their time for other purposes. Numerous facts can prove this point.  For instance, Universities and colleges’ students always have hundreds of assignments to do, such as researches, reports and presentations. Several decades ago, they had to spend all their spare time in libraries, in order to obtain enough materials to work with. This wasted them a lot of valuable time. Nowadays, with the advanced technology, what students need to do is sit in front of computers and type in the key words. Within a few second, results will appear on the screen. Obviously, computers release people from a large amount of documents and books, provide them the most accurate and specific resources of knowledge.

The second reason for my view is that computers enable people to communicate with their friends or relatives who are millions miles away. Before computers came into use in communication, people contacted others by telephone or mail. However, expensive fees are charged for long-distances calls and a long period is required to delivered overseas mails. These problems can easily be solved with computers. Currently, individuals enjoy the convenience to send e-mails or talk to others on computers, which significantly reduce the expenses and time took before. Apparently, I am convinced computers have great contributes to the society.

Last but not least, considering the large consuming of natural resources each year, computers, which are the most essential facilities in modern society, can effectively prevent the natural resources from over using. Comparing a disk with a paper book, it is not difficult to discover that keep information in a disk enable people to preserve a considerable amount of wood. It is undeniable that computers are conducive to the environmental protection,

From what have been discussed above, the extensive use of computers providing people lots of benefits in many aspects of society. Therefore, I hold that extensive use of computers is the most critical change in twenties century.   

Undoubtedly, in the twentieth century (the development of 【computer是可数名词，这里不加冠词，不用复数有语法问题，加个这个the development就能把语法问题解决了】) computer has completely changed the ways (of 【或者the ways in which people study, work and live】)people studying, working and living. It not only contributes to human industries and economy, but also (语义重复，罗嗦)have (has) (a) significant impact on the evolution of human society. As a result, I believe that the most remarkable change in the twenties century is the extensive use of computers.

The first reason illustrates my point of view is that computers enhance the efficiency of work, which (看起来你这里which想指代computers，但是是不是离得太远了；建议用Meanwhile另起一句)enable people to save their time for other purposes. Numerous facts can prove this point.  For instance, Universities and colleges’ students always have hundreds of assignments to do, such as researches, reports and presentations. Several decades ago, they had to spend all (most of 【all太激进了】)their spare time in libraries, in order to obtain enough (relevant) materials to work with. This (to do so) wasted them a lot of valuable time. Nowadays, with the advanced technology, what students need to do is sit (sitting) in front of computers and type in the key words (typing the key words and browsing the web page). Within a few second, results will appear on the screen. Obviously, computers release people from a large amount of documents and books, provide them (with) the most accurate and specific resources of knowledge.

The second reason for my view is that computers enable people to communicate with their friends or relatives who are millions miles away. Before computers came into use in communication, people contacted others by telephone or mail. However, expensive fees are charged for long-distances calls and a long period is required to delivered overseas mails. These problems can easily be solved with computers. Currently, individuals enjoy the convenience to send e-mails or talk to others on computers, which (so that 【which不能指代句子，慎用】significantly reduce the expenses and time took before. Apparently, I am convinced (convince that) computers have great contributes to the society.

Last but not least, considering the large consuming (consumption) of natural resources each year, computers, which are the most essential facilities in modern society, can effectively prevent the natural resources from over using (the overuse of natural resources). Comparing a disk with a paper book, it is not difficult to discover that keep (keeping) information in a disk enable people to preserve a considerable amount of wood. It is undeniable that computers are conducive to the environmental protection.

From what have been discussed above, the extensive use of computers providing (provides) people lots of benefits in many aspects of society. Therefore, I hold that extensive use of computers (it) is the most critical change in twenties century.   

写的不能说烂，看我自己写的第一篇才叫烂呢。继续努力，到12.22考5分不成问题。

http://forum.chasedream.com/dispbbs.asp?BoardID=68&ID=63267

好好看看（知道什么叫“好好看看”吗？就是要去“悟”；因为你己经开始自己写了，肯定会引起点共鸣的）这个帖子的四楼，这是笨蛋逵逵的心得：如何从一个超级TWE菜鸟到准TWE菜鸟。

还是要多写，两天写一篇吧，跟逵逵一样出个【dengsida写作文】系列，写上10篇。

写完自己先从语法的角度改改，版主帮你批改也是如此。

祝你好运！

                                                                 likui