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刚写了一篇Argument,有没有大牛指导一下,看能拿几分?

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发表于 2010-3-21 10:55:01 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
Argument 9  
consumer trends and middle-aged consumers
In this argument, the author claims that the stores should replace products intended to attack younger consumer to middle-aged consumer. The author's line of reasoning to enhance this conclusion is that middle-aged consumer spent more than younger consumer to the department store. Additionally, the author mentions that since the number of middle-aged consumers will increase in the next years, the store should expand the inventory of products for middle-aged consumers. While the author's argument has some merit, it suffers from a couple of critical problems.
In the first place, the author's argument depends on the questionable assumption that the number of younger consumers will remain unchanged over the next decade. While the younger consumer is an important factor to retail expenditure to department, it may fluctuate greatly over a long time period .lacking a detail analysis of the increasing of younger consumers, we cannot assume that replace products intended to younger consumers to middle-aged consumers will bring about a dramatically increase to retail sales.
In the second place, the author suffers from "either-or" reasoning. However, the author provides no reason for imposing an either choice. Adjusting middle-aged and younger consumers might produce selling of retail department. Moreover, if the author is ambiguous in the assumption that middle-aged and younger consumers are the only possible factors of the problems, then the most effective solution might include old-aged consumers .For example, an department store intended to old-aged consumers in Los angles may not change its retail structure. As it stands ,the author's solution to the problem is based upon an oversimplified analysis of the issue.
In the third place,author fails to establish a causal connection between the number of middled-aged consumers and the increasing of retail sales.The only reason offered for believing is that the increasing of middled-aged consumers are the cause of retail sales .However,the evidence offered is insufficient to support this claim;for example,middled-aged consumer cannot afford the expenditure for their children since the cost of their education increase qucikily in the competing society,they may cut down their plan to store department.If so ,the argument has failed to discredit the prediction for the increase of retail sales in the next decade as a whole.
In  sum ,the argument is not well reasoned.To make it logically acceptable,tha author should demonstrates that middled-aged consumer can afford their consuming plan as that ten years ago.Additionally,the argument must provide more specific evidence especially the information concerning the number of younger consumers to substantiate the concludion.
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