请大家帮我评判一下这两篇文章吧！巨谢！

后天就要考试了，把写的文章拿来让大家帮我评判下大概能得多少分吧？尤其是考过的牛牛们，我有一个疑问，我一战的时候AWA是套模版，我把八宗罪都背下来了的，AI也算是模版写作吧，自我感觉比较中庸的写法，可是只得了3分。。。。难道现在套模版写作得分不会高了吗？

文章见下，请不要笑我啊，实在是后天就要而战了，想请牛牛们帮我看看这篇文章到底符不符合GMAT的高分要求啊？

AWA：

题目

44. The following is part of a business plan created by the management of the Megamart grocery store.

“Our total sales have increased this year by 20 percent since we added a pharmacy section to our grocery store. Clearly, the customer’s main concern is the convenience afforded by one-stop shopping. The surest way to increase our profits over the next couple of years, therefore, is to add a clothing department along with an automotive supplies and repair shop. We should also plan to continue adding new departments and services, such as a restaurant and a garden shop, in subsequent years. Being the only store in the area that offers such a range of services will give us a competitive advantage over other local stores.”

Discuss how well reasoned... etc.

  In this argument, the author claims that in order to promote the profits over next few years, they should add more department in subsequent years. Several reasons are offered to support this conclusion. To begin with, the author shows that their total sales increased 20% this year due to a new-openning pharmacy in their grocery store. Moreover, he also assumes that the customers concern about the conveniece in a store. Furthermore, he reasons that by adding more department in their grocery, they would be the only store in this area that provides some much services and all these department together would lead to a competitive advantage over others. In the first glance, the author's argument seems to be somewhat convincing, but further reflection reveals that this conclusion was based on some dubious assumptions and the reasoning is biased due to the inadequacy and partiality in the nature of evidence. Close scrutiny of this evidence shows that it lends little credible support for the author's assertion.

    The first and foremost, the author's conclusion was based on the assumption that the main concern of the customers is the convenience of a store. This assumption is supported by the facts that the grocery store's sales increased by 20% when a new pharmacy section was added to it. However, this is dubious assumption because it is possible that the city-dwellers who shop there are only intersted in the medicines other than the groceries there. They concern more about the credibility of a shop and they believe the medines' quality in the grocery.  And t is also possible that they have no incentives to buy clothes or repair things there because there are big shopping malls and repair-company near the grocery and the two gain fame and confidence of the customers. Since the author has failed to solidify his assumption that the main cocern of the customers is the convenience not the credibility by any data or evidence, his conclusion is surely unwarranted.

    What's more, the author misunderstand the word "increase in sales" with the word "increase in profits". The increase in sales unecessarily means the increase in profits. For example, the openning of the new department may attract more customers and sales more products than before, but the costs of building this department may be so large that it cannot be covered by the revenue. Thus, the actual profits of this company is virtually decrease. Thus, the author has to provide better evidence--perhaps by a way of thorough investigation--to show that the revenue outweighs the costs and the grocery indeed increase in profits.

    The last but not the least, the author assumes that the convenience would permanently be the customers' main concern and the increase in sales due to the openning of  new department would still be the same in the future. However, it is possible that the sales' situation would fluctuate or even reverse in the future. For example,the new-openning of the brandnew department would no longer induce the customers to buy products because of the economic level in the next couple of years would deteriorate and the living standards of people there would drop drastically. Thus, the customers would not buy unecessarily products such as new dress or French dishes. Therefore, any decision aimed at addressing the problem must be based on a thorough survey and deep analysis forcasting the economic level in the near future. Otherwise, it cannot persuade its readers to believe that in the future they would still gain profits.

    To sum up, the author's assertion is not persuasive as it stand. To solidify this argument, the author has to show that convenience is the main concern of the customers. In order to make this argument logically acceptable, the author also has to provide evidence to demonstrate that the increased sales do enhance the profits. Moreover, he also has to indicates that the situation in the past would contintue in the future and the customers' habits of purchasing products would never change in the near future. Only with more concrete evidence could this arugment become more than just an emotional appeal.

AI：

29. “Too many people think only about getting results. The key to success, however, is to focus on the specific task at hand and not to worry about results.”
                            

    To begin with, only when we finished all the specific works can we achieve our goals. The one who put too much emphasis on the results are called "aggressive man". He thinks big but does small and always worries about the "so-called" near-coming victory. He immersed in his thought and imaginations and are overoptimistic. However, the story always ends that he finally gained nothing and all the dream-bubbles broken in a second. The one who obtain his aims steps by steps are always find that he go further towards his dream and are not easily beaten by the failure for they have learned a lot through the way to success. They deserve to win their fortune, to gain their fame or just to have someone to love.

      However, the blueprint of the future and the procedure you planned to attain the success is needed and necessary. The reason for this is obvious. If somebody has just build a goal there and never thought about how to achieve it and never worry about the obstacles he or she would encounter in the way to success, he may not prepare well when meet an gigantic hind on the road and may be confused when he is in a plight. Only with the insistance of goals can not carry you smoothly towards the victory. Thinking about the procedures you may take and the method you may use will save you much time and efforts when you really have difficulties achieving goals. For example, if the government enacted a law to its citizens and never worried about the potential results, what if the civilians are not satisfied about its law and rebel? Or what if they are happy about this law and all carried out it smoothly? Without thinking about these, the government may ironically have nothing to do with the possible consequences and prepare nothing towards the results to protect its citizens and to built its country.

    To sum up, the issue of the importance between specific works and results is a complex one requiring subjective judgment and the balance between the two. In my assessment, I do think we should practise more while thinking about the procedures to success and the all the potential results you may have. Only when we prepare well to all the results can we hava an optimistic mind and spare no efforts to succeed.

谢谢大家了！祝福这个月考的XDJM还有自己都能够轻松应考，获得佳绩吧！