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[求助]求改!!!刚写的作文,内容会不会空洞?

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楼主
发表于 2009-4-4 12:59:00 | 只看该作者

[求助]求改!!!刚写的作文,内容会不会空洞?

181. In your country, is there more need for land to be left in its natural condition or is there more need for land to be developed for housing and industry?

Today, our society confront two options: one is to protect the land left in its natural condition; the other is to develop more land for housing and industry. Those who prefer the former hold the opinion that protecting the environment in its natural condition is necessary to save our world. Those who advocate the latter choice, on the other hand, argue that investing more land in developing housing and industry is conducive to wealth.
The first plain truth, I am presenting here, is that using land to develop housing and manufactory can keep our country wealthy. Wealth is one of the key words of our time. We cannot over emphasize the importance of making money.The strong economy country is taken in first place than a country who has military ability. And a person without money, many of us believe, is an unfortunate man deprived of one of the greatest twentieth -century opportunities and cannot even move one step in this modern society. Accordingly, so great is our passion for making money, that we are becoming increasingly more dependent on wealth. For instance, land development has became the main support of economic growthand provides lots of precious job opportunities. Some cities like Zhuhaiof the Guangdong province,was limited to her beautiful scenery and her GDP cannot catch up with other industrial cities of Guangdong.
In addition, advancement of architecture and industry design are intended for developing housing and industry, not keeping land in its natural condition. For the past several decades, these technologies have changed our living conditions in positive way.
There is no denying that keeping land in its natural condition is closely related to ourselves living environment, environment pollution also damages the Earth. Without conscious environmental protection, many factories dump waste water into the river, let off waste gas into the air. Due to the environment pollution, many animals and plants die out. The earth is on the verge of disappearing. We have no alternative but to design houses and industry in a natural wayand balance the natural and economy.
In conclusion, despite some minor drawbacks such as pollution, developing house and industry, is instrumental.With the advent of developing, we have the promise both of greater leisure and of even great material and intellectual riches.


[此贴子已经被作者于2009-4-4 18:10:44编辑过]
沙发
 楼主| 发表于 2009-4-4 19:53:00 | 只看该作者

请大大们狠批...

6月二战!

板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2009-4-5 16:01:00 | 只看该作者
大侠们请出来吧~哭天喊地了~
地板
发表于 2009-4-5 16:25:00 | 只看该作者

现在看到这种类型的作文就觉得很冷,同志们啊,我们的思维是不是缺了点什么呢?

5#
 楼主| 发表于 2009-4-6 14:39:00 | 只看该作者

想往里面加内容~但一涉及具体事例,单词量就不够了

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